I deal wit typical bitches, giving me thirty-five stitches/
All I want is power, fame, and glory, along wit all the riches/
I am who I am, I will neva give a fuck or even give a goddamn/
I pop a man, and catch the mic on fire with my fucking hot hand/
I top land, switch over, and call u fake like a 7 leaf clover/
I swing with my right hand, swing wit my dick when I'm not sober/
It's over, no more pussy feeds, or fucking being a nice G/
If u wanna fight me, I'll kill ya rather u don't or u do like me/
So bite me, my vocab, it's stretched out now so know that/
Called names like I'm supposed care, by bitches who blow fags/
Man I'll show rap, a begining and a Amorgedaon end to this/
I'll slice and chew this, and leave most MCs brain dead or clueless/
I don't choose shit, I abuse it, and kill people's egos like I'm soft/
When I pay the cost, ain't no boss, I juss turn the weak ones off/
So RB 0-2, don't mean shit, I'll leave this, and clean it/
Your jaws dropped, head back, now do you think I really mean it/
I leave people screaming, like a girl seeing a limp penis/
And if your squeemish, I can handle that, cause I'm a rap guenis/
I'm the hype sensation, to take over that industry and nation/
I don't give a fuck, hate faggots or lez's, and have no tolloration/
So now you think I'm mad and scary, juss look at my vocabulary/
Se7eN ain't bitchin', he's listenin', to no people who rap barely/



, Se7eN

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<a href="http://http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1194274">Se7eN v.s Long Beach Finest</a>

feedback please

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<a href="http://http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1194274">Se7eN v.s Long Beach Finest</a>

Links please, ..follow rules this wil be closed otherwise..

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Fuck you

Yeah post up your links.....

But this needs a lot of work. Your opening line off the back doesn't hold relevance.

"I deal wit typical bitches, giving me thirty-five stitches/"
^^What the fuck are you saying about 35 stitches? Why 35? They beat the shit out of you that badly.

Thru out the entire piece, you jumped from talking about "Typical bitches" to bragging about yourself.

The rhyming was forced, and you just seemed to have put down anything to make it rhyme.

Work on:
Rhyming
Metaphors
Allusions
Vocabulary
Flow
Rhythm
Structure
Topics

..^..what he said..

iight

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<a href="http://http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1194274">Se7eN v.s Long Beach Finest</a>

i will work hard at this shit,

__________________
<a href="http://http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1194274">Se7eN v.s Long Beach Finest</a>