g to the a-n-g-s-t-a/ bitch nigga own play/ cuttin off ya neck wit tha sawed off ak/ runnin through ya block/ scope ya wit the sk's infa red beam/ aim for tha brain/ cover everything wit bloodstains/ at point blank range/ shootin'em up not givin a fuck/ you runnin like a punk/ when you should be bustin back/ but u just a diduntdidunt/ you got a cunt in front where ya dick should be/ ya fuck wit me i give ya a face lift for free/ ya wanna hide then goahead and run up a tree/ thats the only way u could possibley get away from me/ i fade to black/ shoot ya in tha back/and just throw ya on tha stack of bodies that ive already killed/ i dont think youve ever had a woman that i havent already drilled

putting this on your demo? well, firstly, you had some good ideas, however, a little played, maybe if you worked on it, maybe made it a bit longer..you got the multis right, vocab could be improved and i don't really see the flow of the first 'g to the a-n-g-s-t-a...' that part..kinda threw me of, but if you put in on audio, i think it would work better..

Check my piece... 'This Rap Game'

my 2 cents