RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Back Stage > Concluded Tournaments > Sacred Scriptures > Closed Battles
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-20-04, 05:17 PM   #1
Maven
...
 
Maven's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,119
Joined: Apr 2003
Status: Offline
[pre]Tsar Casm vs Maven

IP: D637 72D3

Verses Due: Saturday, January 24th 2004
Voting Ends: Monday, January 26th 2004

Topic: Lost Cause
__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

Last edited by The Realist : 01-25-04 at 05:13 PM.
Send a message via AIM to Maven  
Old 01-20-04, 09:15 PM   #2
Maven
...
 
Maven's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,119
Joined: Apr 2003
Status: Offline
IP: D637 72D3

oh...and in =)
__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis
Send a message via AIM to Maven  
Old 01-23-04, 03:26 PM   #3
Tsar Casm
Over Weight
 
Tsar Casm's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,488
Joined: Apr 2003
From: tapdancin' on lava
Status: Offline
IP: C1DA C961

Inners..I'll drizzop soon..cuz Maven said so!..

Evolve vs. SkiddZ
N Litened vs. rule
__________________

Soft Focus
Suicide Inc.
RhymeVantage
Def.Ill
Ghost-Writers

Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..

Last edited by Sarcasm : 01-24-04 at 01:17 PM.
Send a message via AIM to Tsar Casm  
Old 01-24-04, 12:07 PM   #4
Tsar Casm
Over Weight
 
Tsar Casm's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,488
Joined: Apr 2003
From: tapdancin' on lava
Status: Offline
IP: 4577 CD9A

For everyday someone, will have two choices to make,
Evil or good is summoned, that's when the inner voices start to break,
They pause, and see what is the situation on their cause,
And even if it's good or bad the fact is it may be lost,

The Good Heart...
He dropped out of school, being the top student in his class,
Considered a complete fool, by the whole student body mass,
But they didn't understand, Jamal didn't have a choice,
No matter how many scholarships he'd receive, it didn't end his little brothers voice,
The food stamps wouldn't help, to end his little brothers squeeky yelp,
His mother wasn't meant to have children, it should have stayed that way,
'Cause now Jamal's only option was to hustle, so in himself he had to stay away,
But he couldn't sit back and let his brother go through the same process,
It was nonsense, someone in this family had to make progress,
So he made it his porogative, to let his brother and himself live,
Through the good and bad, somewhere along the way it had to give,
So now he was making a good living, his $500 a night job at the corner,
Though his fear would boarder, jailtime or a trip with the coroner...

The Bad Heart...
Sgt. Harry O'Conner, was the officer to take the bribes on the beat,
Considered one of the deparments elite, since his wrong doings were handled with discreet,
Head of the fleet, these bad cops in the bad neighborhoods,
Stealing drugs from the street dealer's and selling them as Jamal would,
See it's just how things went around in this lifestyle,
If you had the intelligents to go with it, you could make your life worth-while,
Sgt. O'Conner, was one of the group to milk it for what it was worth,
They were the one's to have designers cover their bellies gurth,
He also had his little connects with the Irish Mob,
So now he couldn't be stopped, helping the city to get robbed,
If you could find a man with moral issues, O'Conner was the man,
Though he was acctually soft like tissue, falls out of your hand like sand,
But he kept this a secret, none were to find out, a stout little guy,
Who would be just acting out now...

The Mixing...
One day Jamal was doing the usual on the block,
Sgt. Harry O'Conner had left from getting his equipment out of the stock,
So as he walks his beat, he notice's a face he had never seen,
A newcomer to the street, that's when he saw the baggies gleam,
Looked like O'Conner found another loophole in the seam,
Jamal looks to his left, he see's O'Conner approaching on him fast,
So he dashes up the street, and another one of Harry's dirtboy's pass,
Jamal bounces to the right with some distance on Sgt. Harry,
He had heard about cops like this, he needed to hide or this would be a little hairy,
Suddenly he looks to his back, and in the air is Officer Tiyak,
Shit, now Jamals on the ground, Harry comes up and finds the sack,
Jamal's busted with 15 little rocks of crack, No!!..he can't do it, he decided to act,
He tries to attack Officer Tiyak, Harry being the scared man hes is,
Shoots Jamal, he's 16 he realizes, this is just a kid,
Knowing this he knows he in for an out of policy shooting,
So Harry brings him to an ally and commits an executing,
He takes a knife he'd found on Jamal, in his pocket,
And he makes a scar on himself, from chin to his eyesocket,
Tiyak, feels the remorse,but knows that nothing is to be said,
So they both call and ambulance, saying that he should be dead,
Now infront of the committee, the story is heard through with enlarged flaws,
Showing that Jamal and Sgt. Harry were both victims of a lost cause...

So now I have enlightened you, about lost causes in degrees,
Be it for a good reason, or just your plain old greed,
Everyone starts out, in hope for a better of something,
But they end up with less than they had, close to nothing...
__________________

Soft Focus
Suicide Inc.
RhymeVantage
Def.Ill
Ghost-Writers

Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
Send a message via AIM to Tsar Casm  
Old 01-24-04, 12:36 PM   #5
Mr.Christensen
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
 
Posts: 2,488
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
IP: 8458 EAFD

Quick Reminder: You still have to vote on 3 other battles
Edit your votes into your check in
 
Old 01-24-04, 11:53 PM   #6
Maven
...
 
Maven's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,119
Joined: Apr 2003
Status: Offline
IP: F1B2 2B6F

...sometimes it's easier trying, than to face the worst
cause there's always another dying man to replace the first
but his boots do not thirst, another will come to fill them
just another lonely pilgrim standing in the blood of children
lost in the flood, we will them onwards to defeat
contributing propaganda thorugh the kind words of deceit
just a mine or piece of meat? either would will you on
wondering what pill you're on, realizing, still, you're wrong
to believe in a God that blesses a place as evil as this
receive tins of fraud, confessions to deceive the wits
of the young men who keep coming in an endless stream
but we hung them out to dry, or die to defend the seem-
ingly useless civilization on the other side of the globe
say "Hi!" to your folks, cause you're the light of the show
..."whats that?" you strut back to front lines of existence
orders rumbling with insistence to crush ties of resistance

...and it all goes quiet, you can deny it all you want
officials sign a treaty; what of this place we call the front?

the war is over now, and i think we lost cause
noone will fight for a world thats already hostage
__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis
Send a message via AIM to Maven  
Old 01-26-04, 10:43 AM   #7
NewPort
Banned: Permanent
 
NewPort's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,549
Joined: Apr 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 64-8
IP: 7A50 A5A0

v/ Maven

tsar, you came nice, yet sometimes it seemed you tryed to hard to make your words
rhyme together. The story was aight. And i dont know if its just me but the centering
thing to me is blah.. i didn't like your font either.. too small, hard to read.
Maven, just handled this much better. An alright battle but maven came dope on this
one and just blocked your chances here.. good battle. keep elevating tsar

v/ Maven
 
Old 01-26-04, 11:55 AM   #8
kiissiik
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7FDF 14FE

sarcasm came wit a verse that was long, didnt keep interest enough, i'm feelin the effort and story was not bad, but it was just an all out ehh effort. Still good job on this one.

Maven came dope, I was feelin everything from flow to the whole theme. dope writting once again dude.

boils down to interest.

v. Maven.
 
Old 01-26-04, 03:39 PM   #9
Speeches Blunt
- Termz, the.
 
Speeches Blunt's Avatar
 
Posts: 434
Joined: Dec 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 4457 1C96

Tsar's verse was long as fuck, damn. I read the whole thing and felt the last verse the most. The first was my least favorite. Basically you had a mediocre flow and the story was okay.

Maven's verse was ill. loved it whole way through, ill content. good vocab,
v-.Maven
 
Old 01-26-04, 03:59 PM   #10
Lirael One
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 1B6B AD68

Lol.

Sarc - your bars were too fucking stretched out, and a lot of the rhyming was one syllable - even the internals. Right from the start your wording was off i felt, you need to actually think each line out, dont sacrifice your content just to make the fucking piece rhyme!!!! You need to give it an equal balance, say what you want to say with multi's, while keeping the content at a high standard.

I dont want to get into Maven's cause he sucks, and talks gay to me on aim -

pitchblackprism: nothing quite like a steaming chalice of semen being poured into my ass of doom

but he did enough to win here.

Peace!
 
Old 01-26-04, 06:17 PM   #11
Key-Low
Presently Light...Waits
 
Posts: 306
Joined: May 2003
From: Hayes, VA aka Haze-where its hard ta see
Status: Offline
Text Record: 2-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 62C5 181B

i know why you kids gave maven tha vote.......cuz yall are lazy Bastads, i think i'm gonna go tha otha way on this one, ok battle......tha breakdown:

TSar Cas- rhyme scheme- 6.5, story- 8.5, flow- 6.5, total- 21.5

yeah.....your diction and rhyme scheme need improvement, but your story was solid, your shit might have been long.......but you actually took tha time to explain everythin, mad props on tha story

Maven- rhyme scheme- 8, story- 6, flow- 7, total- 21

nyce rhyme scheme, i feel that your verse was too short....and you didnt explain everythin as well as you should have, expand on your ideas....was not feelin your story as much, but nyce drop

i say casm edged this out with a betta story, which everyone ^^^ above me did not read....lol, my vote goes to Casm, no hard feelins and may tha best man win, peace, 1

p.s. go vote on my ish
__________________
<center> Soft Focus</center>

"I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss
Send a message via AIM to Key-Low  
Old 01-28-04, 12:35 AM   #12
Tsar Casm
Over Weight
 
Tsar Casm's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,488
Joined: Apr 2003
From: tapdancin' on lava
Status: Offline
IP: 4577 CD9A

Hey more votes..everything else is getting votes..but we're not..bump this to the top!
__________________

Soft Focus
Suicide Inc.
RhymeVantage
Def.Ill
Ghost-Writers

Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
Send a message via AIM to Tsar Casm  
Old 01-28-04, 12:38 AM   #13
Mr.Christensen
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
 
Posts: 2,488
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
IP: D9A2 C6B8

Maven Wins
 
 


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:57 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.