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01-20-04, 05:58 PM | #1 | |||
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[pre]Koalatee vs Speeches Blunt
IP: D637 72D3
Verses Due: Saturday, January 24th 2004
Voting Ends: Monday, January 26th 2004 Topic: Lost In Translation
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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01-20-04, 07:43 PM | #2 | ||||||
- Termz, the.
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IP: 4457 1C96
word- goodluck koala` .
shall be a good one. |
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01-22-04, 08:36 PM | #3 | |||||||
See ya.
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Koala, the. .
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Word for Word
Kevin - Patrick - Alex - John - Ian . . the artists formerly known as Word Perfect . . Still > you. R h y m e | V a n t a g e |
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01-24-04, 12:19 PM | #4 | |||
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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IP: 8458 EAFD
Quick Reminder: You still have to vote on 3 other battles
Edit your votes into your check in |
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01-24-04, 11:22 PM | #5 | |||||||
See ya.
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IP: C1DA C961
An excerpt from the diary of a Johnson, Micki .
' It wasn't planned. . Yet, it halted movement in its session & proved that translation had become a lucrative profession Agencies were to unite - creating passion that was sure to be . . A force that would preside over matters of national security It's been over two years since we fell like tumbling Romans Two years since I've experienced an ever-humbling moment. . Twenty-four months since life hit 'reset' with my patience As we took another giant step to defining Westernization Ninth grade - my time being spent clapping and boastin' I didn't give a damn about news; even laughed at the notion Of CNN being commonplace; & realizing the faults of our era & most importantly, the existance of a ' Geraldo Rivera ' ^ Incessant flashbacks gone, I snoozed in a thick abyss Unaware these events provided an excuse for the ignorant To voice their loud - mouthed opinions . . . . . . . . . ' An abrupt ending to the note - but the fact remains the same Induced by not a change of heart, but a tactful change of brain CIA & FBI . . . Agencies chock-full of haughty sensations Expected never to succumb to the lure of a faulty translation Micki entered hell's gates - a place usually home to neat skies He trekked across a barren Wall St. & the Lower East side. . Pressed on unforgiving chain-links; his rear mounted on trouble His eyes appeared to fear the reality of the insurmountable rubble Scanning it all - monotony. . Alone, the site fed satanic sins But Micki avoided the thoughs, whilst his head began to spin Something was glowing; seemingly something citing the past & serving as a quintessential flashlight that was lighting his path Jumping the fence, the onlookers' faces looked pallad and white But, Micki had to find some sort of way to salvage his light On bended knee, he looked on; and heard the faintest screech As his brain was drained of strength and finally escaped his reach Amongst the pillars & cement of an accident embossed in our nation Micki developed a new mind; for the former was lost in translation
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Word for Word
Kevin - Patrick - Alex - John - Ian . . the artists formerly known as Word Perfect . . Still > you. R h y m e | V a n t a g e |
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01-25-04, 12:19 AM | #6 | ||||||
- Termz, the.
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IP: 4457 1C96
silently I lie shivering, quivering words of misery - missin and
where's all the life that she put living in? i'm interested in why I miss so much more when it's all gone I hate it. it's fazing that I'm estated to a moment of patience i can't keep waiting - i can't handle this situation, infact it was more of a job and my tool belt was unstrapped to tie the knot and bind the plot, but fuck it's nothing i can remember when happiness was touching - or something, but who knows; i'm shameless just blaming my consciece for over painting the tainted hanging onto a rop with a thread of hope and my hands were slipping the climax is missing; my tears are beyond their drizzling i wasn't worth it - neither was it, itself - how could I have thought it was something fuck it, i'll only get mad i was influcutuated; i wont deny it wasn't mandating enough i was young confused and for sure- lost in the translation of love |
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01-25-04, 04:10 PM | #7 | ||||
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IP: A9A7 727D
G Hod-I really enjoyed this piece. It was cool...it seemed like two different piece stuck together. This is so hard to critique. fuck. There was no emotion at all. I hated that about it. Micki didn't seem to have any feelings about any of what was going on, and that was just a pain in the ass. I liked how you worked the topic in.
Quote:
very nice indeed. I think I misunderstood the message you were conveying overall though. Termz-where G Hod lacked emotion, it seemed that your piece had so much that it lacked rational thought. Your wordplay was phenominal. I am still trying to understand what the translation of love is though. v/termz
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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01-25-04, 09:22 PM | #8 | ||||||
- Termz, the.
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IP: 4457 1C96
the decyphering or understanding of love.
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01-26-04, 10:39 AM | #9 | ||||
Banned: Permanent
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IP: 7A50 A5A0
thought i agree with you maven on an emotion side of things.. I dont think
that speeches really had everything he needed to pull over Hod here. Im not saying that it was bad, because it wasn't.. yet lacked information and on the creative sides of things, i think koaltee edged you out here. Koal.. It was a good piece and the fluency of the words had me grabbed into the peice you told. It put things into perspective and you ended your piece nicely Termz.. another good piece.. yet sometimes the structure of it lacked into me following. I was trying harder to get locked onto the structure (rhyme scheme) than i was trying to get hooked onto the story. Although when i did, it portrayed a different side of the topic which was good to see.. just not taking hod here v/ Koaltee |
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01-26-04, 03:27 PM | #10 | ||||
Over Weight
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IP: 4672 F254
Koalatees verse..was extremely dope..vocabulary was extremely well used..
Interesting on how you approached it..but I jsut don't know.. I was reading..and jsut couldn't get interested into it... It seemed..cold..like..emotion was not there.. It was like..you were jsut saying this without really caring.. But that's jsut what I thought..dope piece though in all honesty.. Speeches verse..Vocab didn't really touch Jihad..pretty obvious.. But you made it interesting..with dope wordplay..and basically emotion.. This piece wasn't technically better..but I felt it more... It capitaved my mind so to say...but this was very very close.. hard for me to decide..but my vote goes with Speeches...
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-26-04, 03:50 PM | #11 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 1B6B AD68
Koala boy came nice with the first verse, second i didnt appreciate as much actually .. the vocabulary was one of its stronger points, though the depth didnt really seem to be there to take this piece to its full potential.
Termz killed it with the imagery .. right of the bat i got into his take, nicely worded, writers voice actually got better as the piece went on, nice transition to carry the piece .. wordplay helped, a lot! Ended quite abruptly i felt, but none the less a good piece. Well written. Id say Speeches Blunt did enough to edge this. Nice match up. = D |
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01-26-04, 05:59 PM | #12 | |||||||
Presently Light...Waits
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IP: 62C5 181B
Nyce drops.....solid battle,....hard decision.....i lyke how koalatee used "quintessential" in his verse.....lol, you know that means "Typical" right.....lmao, tha breakdown:
Koalatees: Rhyme Scheme- 9, story- 7, flow- 7, total- 23 I lyked tha way you used tha mutlies...it was a solid verse, but you also gotta realize that tellin a good story carries tha most weight, you need to be more explanatory so your verse comes across straight....big words aren't as significant as story tellin in this league, but i give you props on a solid drop Speeches blunt- rhyme scheme- 7.5, story- 8, flow-8, total- 23.5 I personally hated your structure, you had a bunch of rhymes strung together in one sentence....which really helped tha flow, but your bar length was incredably inconsistant, work on that.........try elevatin your diction, your drop was mad short too.....if you would have expanded your idea you easily would have taken this battle, but i give you props on bringin your point across and tellin a story............ this is a hard decision....but once again its a story tellin league....givin it to speeches blunt.............no hard feelin's, may tha best man win, peace, 1 p.s. go vote on my ish...........
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<center> Soft Focus</center> "I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss |
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01-26-04, 06:20 PM | #13 | ||||||
- Termz, the.
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IP: 4457 1C96
thanks for the votes, and ^ my bar length is nothing. Flow matters, and my bar length is cut due to my structure of my verse. it's just unique, so don't blame stuff on my bar length, thanks.
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01-26-04, 06:27 PM | #14 | |||||||
See ya.
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IP: 87B0 7F3F
I accidently edited the post when i was trying to quote.
the disadvantages of mod power. he basically shot down writing with emotion, congratualted termz and told key low that he didn't misuse a word that I am not sure how to spell. my apologies, koalatee. -Shavin Maven
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Word for Word
Kevin - Patrick - Alex - John - Ian . . the artists formerly known as Word Perfect . . Still > you. R h y m e | V a n t a g e Last edited by Maven : 01-27-04 at 09:00 PM. |
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01-26-04, 06:35 PM | #15 | |||||||
Presently Light...Waits
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IP: 62C5 181B
not hatin Koalatee...........but i saw a poster tha otha day with tha words "A Quintessential Thriller"................<--- lol, thats retarder, why advertise sumthin that is typical........why even make up larger words that just mean typical.....and no you didnt use it in tha wrong context, i hate pointless words, peace, 1
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<center> Soft Focus</center> "I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss |
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