|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-26-04, 11:45 PM
|
#1
|
|||||||
|
Middle Weight
|
Need help from a good battler...
IP: B20F 67F7
MY VERSE
[Beat kicks in...] yo... Born to Kill can't write text, all of his dickriders are in denial... Like come on, Houston lacks talent...just look at American Idol! How good can this guy really be, with the abbreviation B2K Just like his favourite singing group...Born to Kill's so yesterday! Yes we say B2K, when asked, "who's RB's biggest badass?" Dam straights he's hardcore! he watches WWE broadcasts! He doesn't realize they use blood packets, still thinks its blades Lord...its sad fake documentaries influence the people of today! Seriously...besides houstans, who cares about houstans anyway Only thing thats worth ass-kin ya is, "Have u ever seen Beyonce?" Im puttin Marques(marks) on Houston, have this southerner "scurred" I've won this battle cuz guess what B2K...You got served! [Beat fades out] HIS VERSE Closing with that quote, shows ya broken down already, yo... Remaining strictly small time, more like nickle bags than a Kilo. Comin with nice personals, though I've seen em all before... Has ya repeatin old news, like Charlie Sheen banging whores. What happened with Se7en? Looks like the beatin left ya numb... Has ya actin pussy in ya sig, look at tha bitch Kilo's become. Now this half wit feels safe, calls my battle chance's slim... Ignorance saves Kilo, cuz what he don't know, can't hurt him. Ya raps bore, so think twice if ya brain can handle being drained... Cuz even when he changes his mind, his doubts aren't entertained. So know ya role, herb, ya blind if ya think ya betta, naw mean? But Kilo can't see the big picture, cuz he's sportin such a small screen. Voters said my punches where played out...but 5/6 of em were from events in the past week. Houston has the lowest number of american idol finalists. He watches WWE. He said he paid for the royal rumble. WWE has hardcore matches. B2K broke up...they are yesterdays news...just like Born to Kill is yesterdays news. He thinks that blades are stilled ussed in wrestling matches...and I kno he got that fro ma documentary called "the secrets of wrestling". Ass-Beyonce....nuff said. Marques Houston~B2K~YOU GOT SERVED. nuff said...he said he watched the movie and enjoyed it. Explain this to me please....did voters not understand the punches or sumthin? |
|||||||
|
|
|
01-26-04, 11:54 PM
|
#2
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 5C4B 9DFC
It doesnt matter if they were last week events... pop stars, wrestling, and Idol jokes have been done to death... Born To Kill also had some harder hitting punches and personals... he set it up so that every line was a punch, but you had some filler...
Also, on a side note, you dont need so many exclamation marks... disses are supposed to be greatly exclaimed anyway, and since the majority of battles are full of punches and disses, there'd be waaaayy too many ! on screen if everyone did it... hope i helped, even though im not that good myself |
||||||
|
|
|
01-27-04, 12:05 AM
|
#3
|
|||||||
|
Middle Weight
|
IP: 9588 E886
thanks for the feedback wogzta. You do make a good point. Anybody else have anything that you can add?
|
|||||||
|
|
|
|
01-27-04, 12:14 AM
|
#4
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 5C4B 9DFC
^ no problem, happy to help
|
||||||
|
|
|
01-27-04, 02:54 AM
|
#5
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 6BAC DCCA
basically your punches had no weight...make them hurt him
|
||||||
|
|
|
01-27-04, 04:37 PM
|
#6
|
|||||
|
Banned: Compromised Account
|
IP: B3D4 AD44
i actualy voted on this battle...
Born to Kill can't write text, all of his dickriders are in denial... Like come on, Houston lacks talent...just look at American Idol! sayin he cant write text could mean that he can do audio, alot of newbies say stuff like that, stay away from it. Like Wog said, the celeb punches are played out How good can this guy really be, with the abbreviation B2K Just like his favourite singing group...Born to Kill's so yesterday! again wit the celeb stuff.... Alphabet jokes are also played too, and im sure his favorite group isnt B2K Yes we say B2K, when asked, "who's RB's biggest badass?" Dam straights he's hardcore! he watches WWE broadcasts! Im guessin it was ment to be funny but it wasnt.... you needed a better set up and again the celeb shit is played He doesn't realize they use blood packets, still thinks its blades Lord...its sad fake documentaries influence the people of today! Not really a direct punch.. make sure you aim it at him Seriously...besides houstans, who cares about houstans anyway Only thing thats worth ass-kin ya is, "Have u ever seen Beyonce?" This was decent... but you already talked about where he lived and about houstans up at the start Im puttin Marques(marks) on Houston, have this southerner "scurred" I've won this battle cuz guess what B2K...You got served! This was an ok closing... u played off houston and his name alot... go for different personals Btk won because he had better punches and personals.. see the thread that feeble made about Good Personals, it will help you alot your personals were basic and didnt have very good set up... try to not focus on the same ones and make them more complex... metas can add complexity. You also dont need all the !!!! and """ around ya words... most people get your punches and personals and you dont need to point em out. lastly.. never explain a persoanl/punch in a verse... wait till the end and explain it.
__________________
A.I.
...Gone... |
|||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
