aight u no the rules checkin and drop yo verse

10-15 lines
blind spit
house rules

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Yo Im battlin this dude Mc Aines,
But for sure he aint givin me any pains,
He has been buggin me for a defy,
But as you can see this dude is imply,
Keeps doing shit like a battle cry,
Wants to get the battle over with so he sprys,
All along nothing in his battle record gonna happen,
Hes over here telling and snapping,
While Im over here taking a napping,
Cuz he just to lame and boring,
Whenever he raps he gets the whole audience snoring,
After he battle me he`ll be jaded,
No one will notice him and he will be faded,
Once he loses he will be hated.

Unknown is labled a door-mat gassed like race-car floor-mats your style bit and STAY DORMANT...
stepped in the ring left ripped-torment open chested like hotel-door-men when i reign my SKILLS-POURING...
this is going to end tragic i've got Unknownshook like "skin-heads" stuck in "FREAK-NIK-TRAFFIC"...
"DEATH" is getting "beat-kids-habit" cause this "Bia" is "slipping" like i "greased" this FAgGET ....
got you looking stagnant your all "talk" like hair-dressers your whole-style is weak you need a "RHYME-ENHANCER"..
you coming up "short" like shirts on belly-dancers.. and get a retirement-plan son...cause i shut "Vaginas" down like "HYMEN-CANCER"......
aines taking all of Unknowns profits.., you've got nothing on me so in battle kid you better WATCH-IT....
crush your larynx as i launch-hits with my "index" finger just to wreck your WHOLE-CONTENT...
im gonna cut ur life-span..aines got more "rings" than a "BEST-MAN"...
i dont miss all my "punches" hit around your-head like "SWEAT-BANDS"....
slap the center of this scrubbS face i set it "off-and-ON"....
but you winning is going out on a "limb" like a"prosthetic" WALK-A-THON" .....
i'll leave you wet like saliva-drool you silly actually you a "DIMWITTED-FOOL"...
"you aint Sh*t" like baby-ruth found at the bottom of SWIMMING-POOLS....

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uppin 1

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uppin 2

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Just giving honest opinion, return the fav

I won;t go line for line
I'll do it text book

Unknown Skillz

open: 4 (attempted punchline) make em a lil more venomous

close: 4 (again make em more venomous) esp opener/ closer/

personals: 4 (only one attempt to personally rip)
metas: 2 (didn't really see any)
punches: 3 (the opener was an attempted punchline/ personal) more venom it would
multis: 5 (decent multies, makes the flow of the song go better

additional point : Work on you're struture (more internal shit be4 the multies etc. ) it''ll make those punchies, personals and multies hit aLOT harder.......
Mad love for dropping the verse....

MC aines

open: 6 (nice open) I'll explain 6 in a min

close: 6 (nice ended) half way got my "personal vote" there w/ just open and close

personals: 3 (few personals) good had more detailed but I feel on lack of info .bio
metas: 5 ( few metas) Ilike this one
""DEATH" is getting "beat-kids-habit" cause this "Bia" is "slipping" like i "greased" this FAgGET "

punches: 5 ( few good punches) we can already see who's gonna win
multis: 8 (lotsa good multies) strong point

Need to even out the barsa bit, it'll help and add more to the details

win: MC aines "personal vote" "if I had A 100 NOW I';d give it to him"
Based on all those points

Vocab - Both were lacking on this, and need to elevate
But everyone ALWAYS needs to elevate
Don't take it personal or the worng way
I liked both verses
but had to give it to MC aines

keep it real
stay up
Return the favor and give me some HONEST feedback

JamesJr.

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undefined
Love for all real lyricists and poets
~~~~~~~~
Open Mics
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112397
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111729

2nd Battle NEEDS 4
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111647
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110858

My vote goes out to mc aines cuz
he he had some good punches in there, didn't see much punches from skillz
good flow cuz he rhymed a couple of multis
structure goes out to skillz cuz mc aines wasn't gud at all
personals: I saw some personals with mc aines that were pretty gud do....
vote mc aines
vote on these thx
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112050
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111844
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111593

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Axiom

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Wathup Bitches ready for my spit

Wins: Lust (5-1)
Bettws (5-0)
Rappin' Master (5-1)
Baz187 (5-0)
Young 5 Mic(s) (5-3)
Losses: Timeless (DQ for being in 4 battles at a time)
Bonez1000(DQ for being in 4 battles at a time)

aines took this w/out a doubt...his first line was better than Unknown Skillz whole verse.....Unknown Skillz came weak with stupid rhymes....some lines didn't even make sense and barely rhymed....altho he did have a better structure than Aines...Aines took it with better rhymes, a few decent punches and much better vocab...an overall more advanced verse....

vote- Mc Aines

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111721
^ needs votes

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<center> I.J.L</center>

Skills you need to really work on your vocab..you are using words in the wrong context and it is really putting a damper on your verse..it makes it seem like you don't know what your saying...
Mc aines..the structure was weak..but the punchlines were hitting so I gotta give you some props..you handled you buisness with agressive lines..good wordplay..and even had a little flow to it..hard work following it..but it was there...
Vote..McAines..He knew what he was doing....used words that he understood and delivered some good punches.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112093

forgot plz vote on these thx
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112050
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111884
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111593

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Wathup Bitches ready for my spit

Wins: Lust (5-1)
Bettws (5-0)
Rappin' Master (5-1)
Baz187 (5-0)
Young 5 Mic(s) (5-3)
Losses: Timeless (DQ for being in 4 battles at a time)
Bonez1000(DQ for being in 4 battles at a time)

Skillz.. Other than barely any of it makin sense, ur verse was basic to the Nth degree.. if u dont understand the meanin of a word or the context in which it should be used.. DONT USE IT!!! Also.. u can make it flow nicer if, for instance, instead of writin "he will" u could put "he'll".. sounds more natural an its how most of us speak.. also u could try usin meta4s to create nice concepts for ya punches.. mc aines used them throughout an tho they werent brilliant they do help the reader visualize.. i hope u realise this is 'constructive' criticism.. i wouldnt have taken the time to write all this if i was jus cussin u.. keep elevatin tho kid.. the only way is up..

mc aines.. u did enuff to take this.. but not cos u murked him.. more cos he didnt drop a hard verse.. ur styles not bad but the lines are somewhat stretched an ur usin a few too many words so its kinda exhausted by the time u reach the punch.. also u shouldnt do a "like blah blah" meta every line.. shit jus gets borin.. plus unless its personal it looks fillerish.. jus work on shortenin ur lines to improve the flow an it'll improve u by loads..

VoTe = mc aines

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uppin 3

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ok

this battle wasnt that good both came wak with structure and
flow werk on them unknown your shit was way to basic,
no hard punches atall......you gota hit hard man,
shit consistency man soz but it wasnt hard atall...you had a better structure but,
aiunes wak structure atleast tho you made an attemp of a punch and had,
some personals in there not a bad verse man,
v-aines,

plz hit this now http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...528#post1156528 thx.......pz

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Axiom