Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
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View Poll Results: Who won this battle? | |||
Hoops | 5 | 100.00% | |
TRASE | 0 | 0% | |
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll |
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07-05-04, 08:41 PM | #1 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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TRASE(I.I) VS Hoops(HWC) topical
IP: CDAA 2D0A
aight this is my frist topical ever so check in a day before tha due date tha due date is this wenesday at 12:00 eastern time 25 lines max 25 lines min and tha topic is just commited a homicide good luck pc |
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07-05-04, 09:00 PM | #2 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: CDAA 2D0A
o yea i forgot u gotta have atleast 250 post's to vote and no crew votes pc
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07-05-04, 09:40 PM | #3 | ||||
L.E
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IP: 0542 1084
Good luck to both...interesting topic..............
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07-05-04, 10:34 PM | #4 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 2E43 6BFE
Checkin In it was a normal night just like any other ma baby doing dishes with tha brillo~ all of a sudden in my head somethin snaped i threw her face in tha pillow~ started to go for tha 12 gague i pointed tha barrel strait at her head~ unknowingly in this burst of rage i pulled tha trigga things went blood red~ i had tha vidieo camra going while i shot her in tha head i kept reframen um~ i watched myself cock tha hammer and tha slug went threw her crainium~ jokingly to myself i said ouch but i needed to get my prints off tha couch~ wasnt a forensic scientist so i had my doubts so a lighter and gas i doused~ see to pull this off u gotta have a fine mind and walk a fine line u cant lose~ see i think it just wasnt my time i tucked in tha 9 suddenly i here blues~ i was almost outta tha house it was in flames suddenly i here voices names~ and k9's that are trained my mind insaine no way out so in tha house i remain any minute cop's comen in but i dont trip i calmy just load up tha clip~ 5 shot's rung out threw my flesh they rip internaly blood trickles down my lip i quietly some how got in tha light i took two in chest and 3 in tha knee~ i rember 5 comen in tha house had 5 shells 2 hit tha wall that means i got 3~ so i riped my shirt to tha wounds i tighten i'm fightin then cop's fade my mind see my mind was exiditen sight faden from tha smoke it was carbon dioxcide now dieing didnt matter i knew i would anyway from tha bullet to my bladder i walked out tha door ina gun fight tha bullets hiting me only made me madder some how i managed to kill em all in a big gasp and fall i got in tha car~ and on to tha tar didnt know where i was goin just that it was very far~ i used my cellphone to call in some plane tickets it was as cold as a fridge~ i dont know why 17 hours of str8 driving i could see tha airport over tha ridge all of a sudden tha tire blows i swirve but i smash and plunder over tha bridge |
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07-06-04, 05:50 AM | #5 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 5510 817C
yo hoop's is it possible that u could drop today i droped last night i want to get this shit rollin i'm goin to bed rite now but please drop today pc and good luck homie
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07-06-04, 08:38 AM | #6 | ||||
poetically and justifiably sick
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yo trase
IP: 6AD2 8F43
ok u asked me for some feedback...
so here it is...... i`ll vote on this battle after hoops drops... it was a normal night just like any other ma baby doing dishes with tha brillo~ all of a sudden in my head somethin snaped i threw her face in tha pillow~ ^^why did u throw her in the pillow?????? started to go for tha 12 gague i pointed tha barrel strait at her head~ unknowingly in this burst of rage i pulled tha trigga things went blood red~ i had tha vidieo camra going while i shot her in tha head i kept reframen um~ i watched myself cock tha hammer and tha slug went threw her crainium~ jokingly to myself i said ouch but i needed to get my prints off tha couch~ wasnt a forensic scientist so i had my doubts so a lighter and gas i doused~ see to pull this off u gotta have a fine mind and walk a fine line u cant lose~ see i think it just wasnt my time i tucked in tha 9 suddenly i here blues~ i was almost outta tha house it was in flames suddenly i here voices names~ and k9's that are trained my mind insaine no way out so in tha house i remain any minute cop's comen in but i dont trip i calmy just load up tha clip~ 5 shot's rung out threw my flesh they rip internaly blood trickles down my lip i quietly some how got in tha light i took two in chest and 3 in tha knee~ i rember 5 comen in tha house had 5 shells 2 hit tha wall that means i got 3~ so i riped my shirt to tha wounds i tighten i'm fightin then cop's fade my mind see my mind was exiditen sight faden from tha smoke it was carbon dioxcide now dieing didnt matter i knew i would anyway from tha bullet to my bladder i walked out tha door ina gun fight tha bullets hiting me only made me madder some how i managed to kill em all in a big gasp and fall i got in tha car~ and on to tha tar didnt know where i was goin just that it was very far~ i used my cellphone to call in some plane tickets it was as cold as a fridge~ i dont know why 17 hours of str8 driving i could see tha airport over tha ridge all of a sudden tha tire blows i swirve but i smash and plunder over tha bridge ok..u had gud multies... gud structure/flow.... gud imagery.. only thing i would say is 1-up ya vocab make it more complex 2-try explain feelings/colours/surroundings/atmosphere etc to make it a deeper verse n try to explain 1 thing b4 u move onto another.. like in ur first line...explain what caused u to throw her..i jus think it captures the reader more if u go into that bit more detail b4 u sayin u shot her... anyway..overall it was a very good spit.... basically jus make it more complex hoops gona hve to drop hard to beat that tho..props |
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07-06-04, 10:33 AM | #7 | |||||||
The Light
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IP: 1E46 C25E
rofl wtf ? when did i get entered into a battle.. am i missing something here ???? i wasent at home yesterday i think ineed to be filled in rofl...
__________________
Can I Metaphor?
Mixtape Pushed Back to mid september.. Holla at me for a copy still I'm felt cause im real. Can you say the same ? Prolly not.
Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup
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07-06-04, 11:37 AM | #8 | |||||||
The Light
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IP: 1E46 C25E
checkin in..Sorry I didnt see this till 15 mins ago.. I just did mine also.. Here you go..
it was late,remember that night,burned to an image.. clear as day,unmistakably bright,understood like visons.. people said I went crazy, but to me I was considerably sane.. focused on my life saving,not using my contemperary brain.. there I stood, one bullet away from death or lost faith.. full of blood, boiling for this mans life im bout to waste.. where is my god now??, do i hear in the back of my mind.. ticking is time,pulling this trigger my life is inclined.. "You have five minutes.well now 4 to kill this man or your dead".. through my mind went the minutes and seconds I spent with this man.. to kill him is to kill life.After hes gone I have no reason to live.. and I know theres no justification to explain honestly what i did.. I squeezed the cold metal, the motion triggered sparks and enragement.. the aftermath of the shot, left me empty-him face down on the pavement.. such a distasteful engagement, but what is done, was meant to be.. felt his eyes on my back, like they were peircing through me.. in shock, I grab the extra pistol attached to my holster.. start deliverin pain, they had ordered it from a poster.. no time to react, they get hit with bullets to the sides.. as i kill em on by one,n a guilty concience is my mind.. undercover were we parted, a fallen comrad to the game.. i killed my own partner, for ever debted is my name.. last bullet in the clip,one last action to be made.. traded my life for his,righting a wrong for a change.. pointed death at my head,relived the concience from my brain.. ^Me and my partner were undercover, they found out he was an officer,suspected i was also.only way to prove to them i wasent is to kill my own partner.....i snapped. Killed him, the villans and my self..
__________________
Can I Metaphor?
Mixtape Pushed Back to mid september.. Holla at me for a copy still I'm felt cause im real. Can you say the same ? Prolly not.
Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup
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07-06-04, 11:47 AM | #9 | ||||
poetically and justifiably sick
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IP: 6AD2 8F43
depth....hoops
multies....both wordplay...prob hoops vocab...trace imagery...trace very close to call...honestly both very good....ima hve to go with trace.. simply because i enjoyed his more...it caught me more... no hate...jus a tite battle.... |
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07-06-04, 11:48 AM | #10 | ||||
poetically and justifiably sick
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IP: 6AD2 8F43
why no poll???????????????????????????????????????
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07-06-04, 11:50 AM | #11 | |||||||
The Light
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IP: 1E46 C25E
you might not have enuff posts.. cause you nneed either 500 posts.. or 5 wins to be able to vote.. =/.. thanks for leavin feedback tho
__________________
Can I Metaphor?
Mixtape Pushed Back to mid september.. Holla at me for a copy still I'm felt cause im real. Can you say the same ? Prolly not.
Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup
|
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07-06-04, 12:01 PM | #12 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: CDAA 2D0A
okay that coulda been 1 vote for me but u need 250 post's to vote anyway uppin
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07-06-04, 01:27 PM | #13 | |||||||
The Light
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IP: 1E46 C25E
uppity up up..
__________________
Can I Metaphor?
Mixtape Pushed Back to mid september.. Holla at me for a copy still I'm felt cause im real. Can you say the same ? Prolly not.
Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup
|
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07-06-04, 01:31 PM | #14 | |||||
Banned: Biting
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IP: 84F8 62A8
LOOOOOOl...doesnt matter how many posts you have on the limit
they have to have 5 wins...LMAO |
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07-06-04, 02:27 PM | #15 | |||||
retired.
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IP: CD83 3BB9
hoops won with ease. trace... boo. your lines were about twice as long as they should be, you had no flow, your vocab was blah, your stuff sounded so simple. it made no sense either. what im with my girl and suddenly i go REAL ULTIMATE POWER on her ass and just flip out and blow her brains out? wtf, this isn't incredible hulk.
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RIP SMOKAJOKA WE WILL MiSS YOU!!!!!!
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