o yea i forgot u gotta have atleast 250 post's to vote and no crew votes pc

Good luck to both...interesting topic..............

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yo hoop's is it possible that u could drop today i droped last night i want to get this shit rollin i'm goin to bed rite now but please drop today pc and good luck homie

ok u asked me for some feedback...
so here it is......
i`ll vote on this battle after hoops drops...

it was a normal night just like any other ma baby doing dishes with tha brillo~
all of a sudden in my head somethin snaped i threw her face in tha pillow~
^^why did u throw her in the pillow??????

started to go for tha 12 gague i pointed tha barrel strait at her head~
unknowingly in this burst of rage i pulled tha trigga things went blood red~
i had tha vidieo camra going while i shot her in tha head i kept reframen um~
i watched myself cock tha hammer and tha slug went threw her crainium~
jokingly to myself i said ouch but i needed to get my prints off tha couch~
wasnt a forensic scientist so i had my doubts so a lighter and gas i doused~
see to pull this off u gotta have a fine mind and walk a fine line u cant lose~
see i think it just wasnt my time i tucked in tha 9 suddenly i here blues~
i was almost outta tha house it was in flames suddenly i here voices names~
and k9's that are trained my mind insaine no way out so in tha house i remain
any minute cop's comen in but i dont trip i calmy just load up tha clip~
5 shot's rung out threw my flesh they rip internaly blood trickles down my lip
i quietly some how got in tha light i took two in chest and 3 in tha knee~
i rember 5 comen in tha house had 5 shells 2 hit tha wall that means i got 3~
so i riped my shirt to tha wounds i tighten i'm fightin then cop's fade my mind
see my mind was exiditen sight faden from tha smoke it was carbon dioxcide
now dieing didnt matter i knew i would anyway from tha bullet to my bladder
i walked out tha door ina gun fight tha bullets hiting me only made me madder
some how i managed to kill em all in a big gasp and fall i got in tha car~
and on to tha tar didnt know where i was goin just that it was very far~
i used my cellphone to call in some plane tickets it was as cold as a fridge~
i dont know why 17 hours of str8 driving i could see tha airport over tha ridge
all of a sudden tha tire blows i swirve but i smash and plunder over tha bridge

ok..u had gud multies...
gud structure/flow....

gud imagery..


only thing i would say is
1-up ya vocab make it more complex
2-try explain feelings/colours/surroundings/atmosphere etc to make it a deeper verse

n try to explain 1 thing b4 u move onto another..
like in ur first line...explain what caused u to throw her..i jus think it captures the reader more if u go into that bit more detail b4 u sayin u shot her...


anyway..overall it was a very good spit....
basically jus make it more complex
hoops gona hve to drop hard to beat that tho..props

rofl wtf ? when did i get entered into a battle.. am i missing something here ???? i wasent at home yesterday i think ineed to be filled in rofl...

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checkin in..Sorry I didnt see this till 15 mins ago.. I just did mine also.. Here you go..

it was late,remember that night,burned to an image..
clear as day,unmistakably bright,understood like visons..
people said I went crazy, but to me I was considerably sane..
focused on my life saving,not using my contemperary brain..

there I stood, one bullet away from death or lost faith..
full of blood, boiling for this mans life im bout to waste..
where is my god now??, do i hear in the back of my mind..
ticking is time,pulling this trigger my life is inclined..

"You have five minutes.well now 4 to kill this man or your dead"..
through my mind went the minutes and seconds I spent with this man..
to kill him is to kill life.After hes gone I have no reason to live..
and I know theres no justification to explain honestly what i did..

I squeezed the cold metal, the motion triggered sparks and enragement..
the aftermath of the shot, left me empty-him face down on the pavement..
such a distasteful engagement, but what is done, was meant to be..
felt his eyes on my back, like they were peircing through me..

in shock, I grab the extra pistol attached to my holster..
start deliverin pain, they had ordered it from a poster..
no time to react, they get hit with bullets to the sides..
as i kill em on by one,n a guilty concience is my mind..

undercover were we parted, a fallen comrad to the game..
i killed my own partner, for ever debted is my name..
last bullet in the clip,one last action to be made..
traded my life for his,righting a wrong for a change..
pointed death at my head,relived the concience from my brain..

^Me and my partner were undercover, they found out he was an officer,suspected i was also.only way to prove to them i wasent is to kill my own partner.....i snapped. Killed him, the villans and my self..

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Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup

depth....hoops
multies....both
wordplay...prob hoops
vocab...trace
imagery...trace

very close to call...honestly both very good....ima hve to go with trace..
simply because i enjoyed his more...it caught me more...
no hate...jus a tite battle....

why no poll???????????????????????????????????????

you might not have enuff posts.. cause you nneed either 500 posts.. or 5 wins to be able to vote.. =/.. thanks for leavin feedback tho

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Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup

okay that coulda been 1 vote for me but u need 250 post's to vote anyway uppin

uppity up up..

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Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup

LOOOOOOl...doesnt matter how many posts you have on the limit
they have to have 5 wins...LMAO