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View Poll Results: Who Wrote This Topic Better?
Apotheosis 5 100.00%
Poetic Justice 0 0%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 07-06-04, 05:21 PM   #1
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DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
Apotheosis Vs. Poetic Justice

IP: E5EB 11E6



.::Rules::.
20-30 Lines Max
5 Votez Winz
No Crew
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Checks Due By 7/8/04
Spits Due By 7/10/04
Votes Due By 7/13/04

Topic: Poetry In Motion

Good Luck To Both Emcees!

~R~
 
Old 07-06-04, 05:44 PM   #2
Poppa Kap
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In.....lol......biting my user title......good luck Justice
 
Old 07-06-04, 06:40 PM   #3
PoEtIc JuStIcE
poetically and justifiably sick
 
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in...........yep gud luk..........................
 
Old 07-08-04, 05:12 PM   #4
Poppa Kap
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Poetry In Motion

My fingers clutch around the pen
its tip drifts across the paper,
as the ink touches a blank canvas
I gain the gift of a creator.
I poise my tool of imagination
ready to pour my pondering,
famish for inspiration
around the room my eyes are wandering.
Through every nook & cranny
Ins & outs . . . . high & lows,
Searching for that trigger
To relinquish my prose.
Abrupt eruptions develop
that interrupts my focus,
shoulders hold a mind full of poetry
but their motion is too slow to notice.
My mind becomes a scavenger
scurrying through past memories,
suddenly I think of Joanna
& the last words she said to me.
“Harry you have changed. . .
it seems as if your no longer the same person,
no longer when we make love
is our hearts merging.
Instead its your lust
your basic sexual attraction,
while im performing my duties
for your satisfaction.
So its time we ended
search happiness in new angles,
& we cant pull some strings to sort it
for you have made them all tangle.
So this is goodbye. . .
I will always love you in a funny way,
but im afraid our puppy love
has now gone stray.”
I miss her every second. . .
it will be long to cure this heart of mine,
but I’ll smash every clock I see
to help me kill the time.
For all I did wrong
that this angel I did not cherish,
your gorgeous face & beautiful heart
& those lips I did not relish.
I hope you find someone
that will take you and show you bliss,
that would make you so happy
you will be lead to an alter where you kiss.
& from there you continue
you give life to those as beautiful as you,
& they give you joyful days times 10
for every bad memory I gave you.
You were my heart
poetry to me was my emotions,
& I’m dead if you are not happy

so please continue to put. . .

Poetry in motion.
 
Old 07-10-04, 03:04 PM   #5
PoEtIc JuStIcE
poetically and justifiably sick
 
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From: england
poetry in motion

IP: 6AD2 8F43

tough subject.....heres my take on it...


Look around the world...Visions of poetry in motion
Amazing swirl of coral fish...Adourning our great oceans
Soul catching inner peace...Sound of waves stroking exotic beach
Mezmorizing beauty of natural pebble..Below bronzed feet
Majestic flight of the eagle...And its fatal swoop
The beauty of the kill...As its prey it scoops
As i sit now and observe...Wind caresing beautifull trees
The wonder of natures growth...Plants and garden peas

Lethal strike of the trigger fish...The way is catches its prey
The same skill used by frogs...In the same carismatic way
Lovingly great poets speak..Capturing aspects of life
The smooth precision...In how a surgeon uses his knife
How a star carrys ancient light...Across night skys
Bustling city life...The bewildering complexity of lives
Sow a seed...watch the rain give it its starting push
The way in which god created...the edible blackberry bush

A painters brush flows...lovingly a story is created
The way in which a national victory is celebrated
Think of how a heart...Consistently pumps its blood
How you would spend millions...If only you could
Way in which a love song is created...Spoken from the heart
The way in which gift of time heals...Eventually after love departs

To understand the topic dosent take magic or a secret potion
Plain for everyone to see the beauty above is..Poetry in motion

Last edited by PoEtIc JuStIcE : 07-10-04 at 03:14 PM. Reason: structure
 
Old 07-10-04, 03:11 PM   #6
Poppa Kap
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From: Great Britain
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good topic....good opponent...great verse.....either way this goes Im happy to get this far and good luck Justice I can learn alot from your writing style. . .either way this goes.......thanks.
 
Old 07-10-04, 03:17 PM   #7
PoEtIc JuStIcE
poetically and justifiably sick
 
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From: england
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thanx a lot mate...appreciate that....i liked your verse 2...
may the best man win...

i edited it coz it wasnt quite finished...hope u dnt mind
 
Old 07-11-04, 07:22 PM   #8
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DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
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Aight Check..

Poetic Justice: 4/10
You Completly Took The Subject and Ruined The Meaning Of Poetry In Motion. You Had Sum Good Lines That Had Emotion But Your Shit Was Just A Run-On No Real Stick Out Talent Verse. You Need A New Style...Just Elevate.

Apotheosis: 7/10
Nice Structure..The Rhyme Scheme Was Nice How You Ryhmed Every Other Line. Not My Style But I Mos Def Liked It. Your Emotion Was...Well Aight....But Your Point Was Across. Nice Drop Man. Keep It Up and Elevate.

Vote - Apotheosis

~R~
 
Old 07-12-04, 11:23 PM   #9
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Vote - Apotheosis...

He took this wit a creative structure and rhyme scheme...good emotion and a nice approach to the topic....poetic didnt do too well with the topic...didnt have a better flow....just keep working at it poetic....
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Old 07-13-04, 12:12 AM   #10
FlowIntelligent.
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pretty good topical battle...apotheosis i was really feeling your verse i thought i wouldnt like your structure at first but then i began to enjoy it and i thought it made your verse a lil bit better...i think you flowed pretty consistent and stayed on the topic consistent also...good topical piece from you

overall : 8/10

poetic justice you also had a very good piece but i wasnt feeling it as much as apotheosis's verse...you had some raw emotion in your verse but not as much as you usually do i think this was your worst topical i have seen from you...you didnt really grasp the concept or the topic

overall : 5/10

vote: apotheosis

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Old 07-13-04, 12:14 AM   #11
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DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
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Its Past Voting Deadline...

Winner...Apotheosis

~R~
 
 


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