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View Poll Results: Who Wrote This Topic Better?
Abstrakt 1 16.67%
~Babylon~ 5 83.33%
Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 08-17-04, 03:09 PM   #1
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
Abstrakt Vs. Babylon

IP: D52C 04A2



.::Rules::.

20 Line Minimum
30 Line Maximum
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Checks Due By 8-20-04
Spits Due By 8-22-04
Votes Due By 8-25-04

Topic: HellBound

Good Luck To Both!

~R~
 
Old 08-17-04, 03:21 PM   #2
atti?
1926
 
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IP: A001 97D8

Checking In...
.One.


.........(Have To Have More Then 50 Characters).........
 
Old 08-18-04, 04:48 AM   #3
~Babylon~
~Lyrical Nirvana~
 
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From: Newark,NJ
IP: C1DA C961

checkity check check...................................
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Old 08-20-04, 11:45 AM   #4
atti?
1926
 
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IP: A001 97D8

*Running Threw The Fields*
Feel The Miles Of Wheat Fields Pass Under My Bare Feet
As I Neel, Yield To The Lack Of Air Blocking The Care Free
One's Long March, Starved Of Success Yet I Still Shuv On
Can't Stop Long, Moving Aloft The Obstacles That Come Strong
Run Hard With Tunes Of Freedoms Melody Ina Sung Song
I Freeze In Place, Feel The Dawns Due Break Dry Pace, Its Great
Double Take, See Daybreak Humbled By Red And Pink Haze
As They Take To Brush Faint Scenes To Cuddle Skies With Paint
Look Ahead And Move Onward Toward A New Step Forward
Step From Hatereads Horror Into Freedoms Sheltered Harbor

*Take A Break, Lost In Thought*
Just 21 More Miles But I'd Run So Many More To Find My Soul
Not Even A Real Man While Another Hand Forces My Goals
"Pick That, Have This By Then" Fuck "Lift That And Then..."
No More Of This Crap I'll Be My Own Man, Till My Own Dam Land
But What If I Dont Make It, Struck Down At The Streets Bank, Done
My God The Payments I Would Pay With Would Leave Me Bankrupt
What To Believe? The White Man Tells Me If I Leave I'm Hellbound
But Momma Used To Preach How If We Fallow Our Dreams I'm Well nDoud
But Now I Question, With What Methods Should I Invest In
Fearing Hells Essance Dancing Across My Feet As I Begin Stressing

*Have To Keep Moving*
Jump Up And Wipe Off My Tears, Miss One As If Falls Like My Years
Charging Threw The Fears, But Still Stumped As To What Time Nears
The Dawn Of Hells Painfull Eternity Or Heaven Angels At One With Me?
Please God Asnwer Me Soon In These Days Of Unsertainty

*Stops To Re-Group*
LORD NO! I've Been On Roam The Past Hours Now I Know Not Where To Go
I'm Lost, Dont Even Remember The Way Home, "Oooh, That I Should Know!"
Now I Know My Path Is To Grasp His Almight Satanist Pal-ace
If God Was At This Shoulder How Could I Have Failed This?
*Dogs Barking*
They've Come Now, Know Of My Escape, As I Fell Down And Smell The Ground
I'll Miss The Sent, Just With That Though The Dogs Held Down... The Answer Is Clear Now, I'm Just Another Slave No More Then Hellbound.
 
Old 08-21-04, 02:55 AM   #5
atti?
1926
 
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IP: AFF5 A41D

GOD DAMMIT!!!...
I Thought The Verses Were Due Today...
I Rushed To Get This Dam Piece Finished...
Fuckin Christ, Daym He's Prolly Got It Now...
.One.

.................(Have To Have More Then 50 Characters)...................
 
Old 08-22-04, 06:01 AM   #6
~Babylon~
~Lyrical Nirvana~
 
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From: Newark,NJ
IP: 28AD 5545

....................................just a dream.....................................


I close my eye's and quietly enter this silent slumber
my heart soon slows... to a pace of a far mild thunder
I wonder.... and dream thoughts of such greatness
but soon shinning light becomes dark and I come to hate this
words like scare afraid and fear seep into my mind
and it becomes clear that sleep is not what I came to find
but a type of darkness... screams of pain that seem so heartless
but regardless... of my shivers my body still charges
I move forward toward a heat that cant be simply measured
soon.. my limbs become bloody, gory, and weatherd
my skin wrenkles.. and seems to slide as I strongly stumble
the thick darkness tightens around and calmly rumbles
with sounds of screechin voices.. pulling at my ears
the sounds of pain, anger, and hunger.. building up my fear
I drop to my knees and scream to the highest mountains
then I see a light that shows clouds and sights of fountains
I through my arms in air and litteraly reach for the heavens
my eye's glance apon a seele that multiplys into seven
and one by one they start to break into many peices
suddenly I notice the silence and that shreeking seaces
old memmories of sunday school creep up and down my spine
those teachings of the judging that god will give in time
confront me to my face and I become mentaly disfigured
and living a life of hate.. so is that what this triggers
is this fate or a lesson.. and soon I begin to question
is god telling me I'm finished or is this just a slight suggestion
my head begins to spinn.. and I can hardly stay awake
thoughts of these illusions.. and reachin a certain fate
as i close my eyes I feal them open.. so what is it i've seen
and soon I realize i cant be hellbound cause it was just a dream



just thought I'd right to this topic to make a point........

that when we git scared were regretfull.....but

once we're safe we dont care.........but mabe thats just me....

~1~

p.s.

I wanted to go like 50...but...the limits 30....sorry
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Old 08-22-04, 04:03 PM   #7
a k w o r d Z
New Jack
 
From: jail.
IP: AAF1 A3DB

Abstrakt- Your concept was nicccceee, I was feelin it. Good rhyme scheme, vocab, flow, you had a really good overall verse.

Babylon- Your verse was good too, you had an alright concept, the ending was maaaaaaad predictable though. The verse had alot of detail, witch i thought was good. Your rhyme scheme could've been better, you made up for it with vocab, but still, rhyme scheme's important.

Overall I think whoever orginized the matchups shouldn't of matched these two together, seeing that these were the 2 best verse's I've read in the tourny so far, one of them shouldn't be knocked out of the tourny first round. Still, there has to be a winner so...

V/ Abstrakt
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Old 08-22-04, 07:41 PM   #8
flow2crazy
Simply Dope
 
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From: The Ill State
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abstrakt~that was a real nice piece, vocab and really most aspects were dope

babylon~even though u had a predictable ending it was still real nice, ur vocab and flow was good and it was a real detailed story

yea these were some real dope verses and a hard choice so i gots 2 say...

v/ babylon
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Old 08-22-04, 08:11 PM   #9
atti?
1926
 
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IP: A001 97D8

Ayo, To That Kid Who Gave Me A Vote...
You've Gotta Poll Your Vote...
Cuz Right Now It's Doing Nothing...
And Babylon, Real Nice Drop Mayn...
That Kid Was Right When He Talked About Us Being Matched Up...
But Itsawl Good...
.One.
 
Old 08-22-04, 09:04 PM   #11
a k w o r d Z
New Jack
 
From: jail.
IP: 269D 0C24

says i gotta have 200 posts to do the poll... aint my fault
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Old 08-23-04, 01:02 AM   #12
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
IP: 6DC1 4D5A



I'll Add Your Vote To The Poll....

Abstrakt Your Structure Is Horrible.....Fix Up Your Verse It Looks Like Shit and It Makes Your Verse Horrible To Read. Your Emotion Was Aight....But Your Direction Is So Played...Its Like You Follow The Same Direction In Every Spit You Do. GET SUM CREATIVITY!! Just Use Your Mind To Elevate...You Got Potential.

Babylon Nice Verse...Your Direction Was Also Kinda Played but You Switched It Around and Had Nice Emotion Threwout. Nice Structure and Flow To Your Verse. Just Get Sum Nice Vocabulary and Word Usuage and You'll Be On Your Way.

Vote - Babylon

~R~
 
Old 08-23-04, 10:25 AM   #13
atti?
1926
 
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IP: A001 97D8

Blaaaah, Fuck That...
Keep Hearing About My Structure But No Ones Actually Tells Me What To Fix...
That Doesnt Help At All...
And How Was My Direction Playd???...
The Topic Was Hellbound, If I Did The Usual Then I Would Just Said I Killed Someone In The Streets And Now I'm Sorry About It...
How In Any Way Is My Shit Playd???...
Whatever Though...
Upping...
.One.
 
Old 08-23-04, 02:43 PM   #14
Keith Moon
Thank You, Come Again
 
From: Pomona, California
IP: 8D48 2106

eh close battle both had dope verses..

Ab-good verse....kinda different than hellbound but thats good............nice verse overall

Bab-good verse ike how you worded the transformation ending wask indda blah but still good............

v/ Bab cuz his had a message I realized and as pretty good one at that and jsut al ittle better
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