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Old 01-28-05, 01:49 PM   #1
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Verbal Abuse vs final (MiddleWeight Championship)

IP: D5FE 7245

Rules:

Battles Go Up Friday
Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time

20 Lines Minimum
40 Lines Maximum

No Biting
No Recycling
Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit
Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines

You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week


Topic: D-Day
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus

Last edited by final : 01-31-05 at 01:14 PM.
 
Old 01-28-05, 01:57 PM   #2
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check..........
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-28-05, 02:33 PM   #3
eph
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Last edited by eph : 02-03-05 at 06:44 PM.
 
Old 01-31-05, 01:13 PM   #4
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aight how about D-Day?...i changed it to that

peace
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-31-05, 03:01 PM   #5
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wrote my D-Day verse so i guess thats the topic
READ ALL OF IT PLEASE lol

To the shore
The agitation commenses, the boat rocking left and right
water rushing inside, it covers my face and sight
20 soldiers huddled close, an inch away is where they sat
motion sickness got to them...spewing vomit on their laps
at a 360 view thousands of ships held millions to be dead
one shot in the head beside me from the crossfire ahead
the commander in front, speaking speeches of fight till the death
never let the germans rest instead shoot with no regret
were approaching i see victims falling quickly at the shore
got out quick and hid...not knowing at all what was in store...


The Landing
Erratic noises left my ears ringing, I could barely hear
it was the guns taking over sound, nothing was clear
the fear diminished, when your in it you dont think about dying
just killing as many as possible...some without even trying
I stood up and ran to the obstacle ahead of me
where a person is screaming medic, his wounds were deadly
leg decapatated from a mine, the beach coated in blood
red flowing out his spine...either paralyzed or stunned
couldnt help followed the commander to the end of the beach
where we would stay at the gates about to be breached
over us planes made their way to bomb the bunker place
everytime they hit the world shook the fields in disarray
our fellow platoon planted the bomb to blow up the gates
it exploded we rushed in and at the bunker wall we stayed
seconds later we ran to the otherside of the entrance
we made it, someone talked, was shot before he finished his sentence
germans raiding toward us we just shot at the savages
managed to kill them all but not without our own share of caskets
entered the bunkers and grenaded anybody left around
everyone regrouped and stormed into the core of the town


One down...more to go
Everything was clear we slowed down and observed our surroundings
a mystifying mist cluttered the roads, our hearts started pounding
walked in and out of houses looking for citizens or enemies
nothing was seen maybe they pulled back, thats what it seems
turned the corner and kept walking to see another road
a lady ran out and someone shot...our faces were bold
it was by accident most of us edgy worried at what weve done
we haulted at a sound around us...and scared we couldnt run...
germans surrounded us how did they learn guerrilla warfare tactics?...
cocked my gun...aimed at one...open fired and blasted.......

good luck
peace

Links
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1938046
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1938059
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus

Last edited by final : 02-03-05 at 08:39 PM.
 
Old 02-01-05, 12:53 AM   #6
eph
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D-Day

Rank:
101st Airborne Division
506th Parachute Infantry Regiment
2nd Battalion
Easy Company
1st Platoon
Squad 4, Major Herbert Sobel ( RIP )


wings tear through the clouds, i know how heaven feels.
cause looking down at the battle field, i can see hell is real.
us...101st Airborne Division, prepped for first combat stunt.
kissed my engagement ring, close my eyes tight & jumped.
i could see half my regiment beyond the axis troops.
whispered a prayer for the crew and pulled my chute.
a sudden square mile explosion & US battalion advanced.
22 minutes after that, 101st AD joined the invasion of France.
dropped near carentan, normandy...my german, not fluent.
american voices interupted...by a nade from the enemy unit.
it only took two germans do it. who murdered twleve US soldiers.
brothers indeed, we all wore the same colors on our shoulders.
the 43 in our platoon shattered, like the glance a mirror gives.
climbed a bank to find thousands...dead stacked in pyramids.
burried fifty at a time, the soil swallowed the body bags.
myself alone...must have gathered over fourty dog tags.
continued on path, chins deep into our chests. rifles at waist.
nights we dwell of the days sorrow collected...the bible erased.
marched to bastonge, medics there in dire need of tag teams.
we raced to the warfront...all with stolen blood in our canteens.
aiding the surgeons during combat, was not our mission.
we may have lost our insight, but would never lose our vision.
the purpose of war, was to kill as many & survive as long.
saving lives...was the theme behind every patriotic war song.
with our bread in our boots, we feasted like victors.
& with our pistols aimed at the enemy, we anticipated hitler.
suns and moons chased each other, wheather patterns vicsous.
snow carpets brought illness, a threatning gift at christmas.
bastonge reduced our 43 members to an amazing nine.
the remainder stood disfigured, glowed of braking point signs.
a marksmen, demolitionist...and 7 riflemen formed our squad.
the luietanant was wounded, we flinched at gunfire abroad.
being hit was inevitable & common under artillery bursts.
most often we'd defeat enemy fire, losing 2 or 3 first.
one last stretch of woods, we steadily cleared for mines.
then homeward, where wed actually live the rest of our lives.
our dreams nearly fulfilled, infact this is it...the end is real.
that instant i was hit by a japanese sniper, with one intent...to kill.
my lungs slowed & i lost the use of my eyes, then realized...
my attacker and i were similiar, he too was just fighting to survive.
 
Old 02-01-05, 10:14 AM   #7
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Omfg... Well I'll vote on this tonight you two crazy ass motherfuckers, seems like I'm bout to read a book.
 
Old 02-01-05, 09:24 PM   #8
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I hope it doesnt matter that im new..?

..Final..

Wow..Great, amazing imagery it was like you were really there..it was emotional..I like how you split the events you went through it had nice structure..good peice I hope to see more from you

overall.. 8/10

..Verbal abuse or eph what ever you name is lol

This peice really amazed me I mean you had a tough act to follow, but i was incredibly impressed..I mean your drop was really descriptive like you were expirencing it while you were writing it was emotional..I was just really feeling your peice..lol I like the rank idea lol good touch


overall.. 9/10

vote: verbal abuse..eph..whoever you are

It was a really good battle you both dropped amazing peices..um im not sure how the voting goes on this site but if i need to describe my vote in more detail just say so anyway props to both of you Id like to face the winner whoever it may be
 
Old 02-02-05, 01:06 AM   #9
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Final- Damn man, this was the best imagery i have seen in a topical battle. Straght up... Shit flowed great, and the emotion was fucking sick... I felt like i was in the fucking battle. Perfect, exactly what you are supposed to do dog...

10/10

eph- Damn dog, dope shit also... Imagery was there, emotion was there, vocab, you name it... Your last line was fucking dope nice way to sum it up.

Omg... You dirty bastards are making this difficult for me.

Imma have to go with final, because his verse made me feel like i was in the battle, but props to both, great battle.
 
Old 02-02-05, 01:13 AM   #10
eph
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word. thanks for the honest votes. 1-1.

g'luck final.
 
Old 02-02-05, 03:42 PM   #11
Whyte Ave.
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shit this is crazy hard...cause you both took the same approach pretty much
talking about the actual D-Day...
but I'm gunna have to go with Final...reading it gave me a little more sense of being at D-Day, and that's what wins topicals for me. ...the emotion was there for both of you, flow and vocab all even...tight battle guys, definate battle of the week. If I could I'd probably say tie lol.

eph - I really like your opening lines and your ending lines though, those were absolute dope
 
Old 02-04-05, 04:08 PM   #12
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final wins by 2-1 at the end of voting...

final +4
Verbal Abuse -2
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
 


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