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Old 07-19-05, 08:40 PM   #1
L.E
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Championship Match: Big Chase Vs. Os1ris Vs. The Revelation

IP: 03A1 A28A

This is the final match of R.I.T.T.

The Winner of this match will get the final prize.

A publishing contract from Random House.

Minimum 26 Lines.
Maximum Unlimited.

Topic: Whatever The Fuck You Want....BUT...You HAVE to tell a story in your verse...

Check In: By Wednesday (Tomorrow)
Verses: By Friday

Good luck.
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Old 07-19-05, 11:41 PM   #2
Sean Gunner
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Checking in. I want that contract.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 07-20-05, 02:18 AM   #3
Keith Moon
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Check:Motherland
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Old 07-20-05, 10:21 AM   #4
Os1ris
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Checkin in......
 
Old 07-21-05, 12:01 PM   #5
Keith Moon
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I don't think I can drop on Friday....maybe a day or two later...I have footballl and drumline today so I'm gone from 11:30 to 9:00 and I''ll want to crash afterwards...

hmm Contract could be a good one but we can differ from eing a rapper for once
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Old 07-22-05, 01:36 PM   #6
L.E
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigChase
I don't think I can drop on Friday....maybe a day or two later...I have footballl and drumline today so I'm gone from 11:30 to 9:00 and I''ll want to crash afterwards...

hmm Contract could be a good one but we can differ from eing a rapper for once


Fuck sakes...you've done this every week...

Fine...Im giving you until tomorrow...

...But this extension goes for everybody.
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Old 07-22-05, 03:58 PM   #7
Keith Moon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Limited Edition
Fuck sakes...you've done this every week...

Fine...Im giving you until tomorrow...

...But this extension goes for everybody.

I can't help it my coaches feel we have 5 hrs of practice everyday

I wish I could drop on time
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Old 07-22-05, 04:12 PM   #8
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Yeah no worries...this whole tourney has been frustrating haha...
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Old 07-23-05, 08:15 PM   #9
Os1ris
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Well looks like im the first to drop g'luck opponents...

Prodigal Son

Part I: Prison

Throughout my lifes history, ive dwelled in constant misery...
If i stabbed my sorrow on paper u would see my pencil bleed...
Envision me, a broken man trained to fight for a nation...
I strained in tight situations working with fodd in light meager rations...
The enemy gave us eager patients for us to put under the knife...
It's no wonder that strife in the world made many blunder their lives...
Dodgin gunners with rifles, machine guns and hand grenades...
If we survived this escapade our leaders told us we had it made...
But in a raid i was caught pants down with a whore kissing her...
Before i stuck my dick in her i was caught up, a prisoner...
Let me mention her brains were smeared on the walls like lipstick...
The dipshit that killed her held her skull n asked me,"where should i ship it?...
I never attempted to run, their army took me away silently...
In their chambers they quietly tortured me for info, I stood defiantly...
Violently they shocked me, electricity could leave incissions...
On my soul, i gave up and we lost the war on my submission...

Part II: Fate

Now a free man i still remember when my bladder cried my fears...
But no one understood, i was an outcast denied by peers...
I try to hide my tears when i see my own family spit on me...
Peeps kicked me, shit on me, even gays were allowed to hit on me...
I bitterly moved to the outskirts, in the neck of the woods...
Forced to live alienated, surrounded by p.eckerwoods...
Them fuckers would leave me alone, cuz i stayed disguised 4 awhile...
But fate eventually found me, masked by the eyes of a child...
I was in denial when i saw this kid, eyes burstin' like hydrants...
This boy looks like me! on a hunting trip i stumble and find this?...
I lied this kid over my shoulder, his tears still runnin like boulders...
He spoke," I should kill myself now if it looks like this when im older"...
I never recieved a colder blow, "What u Expect Me To Do?"...
The kid stared," I just want people to finally respect me u fool...
Accept my help, I hold the key to the door of our salvation...
However, murder n' deceit is our sacrifice to rule all nations"...
Through this temptation, i became the kids partner on all levels...
And this my friend, is how a man sold his soul to the devil...

Part III: Armageddon

Revenge was on my mind, in my body any syringe i could find...
With my partner by my side, even my people cringed from our crimes...
Cuz i singed our enemies, I quickly grew into power...
I spoke with authority, i finally lost the label as coward...
Showering the world with hatred, everyone stacked up on me...
Vengeance was mine, God's children couldn't lay an attack upon me...
But the chains of guilt was on me, I thought why slaughter?...
Is it my right to kill someone because their not my daughter?...
The world tottered on the brink of everlasting destruction...
This function occuring cuz of my own life's disruption...
On my assumption my partner began to cry a weeping fit...
"You Cant Stop Now Bastard!! Your Souls Lost, Your Too Deep in It!"...
The war i couldnt keep from happening but of course i had a plan...
To distort our battle plans, cuz now in my life i had a man...
The hands of God touched me, a fact many might have found odd...
I lost the war and my life, but i, Adolf Hitler, Found God...

Now Im in Heaven And Armageddon Is Put off For another Millenium...

Amen...
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Old 07-23-05, 10:48 PM   #10
Sean Gunner
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Mystory

Death
Pool in the backyard, trampoline in the front, 2 story house,
Both parents together with a dog and brother.
How could things get any better? I was cocky no doubt.
Hammock was resting between two trees which were green all year round,
Everything nice and orderly and easy, heaven was found.
Nice school to go to, learning what others wished to know,
Learning about Christ and being saved as I continued to grow.
This pattern was fun, until things changed.
I moved to a different place and nothing remained the same.
I said good bye to my friends, they wouldn't miss me anyway,
Told them to write, ha, they were just glad I was going away.
I listened to rap, but then my ambitions kind of died,
Inside I tried to gain the fire, but songs became my ambition,
My mission was simple, to inspire, motivate, maybe even make people cry.
50 cent, Lil Jon, get crunk inside the building, WHAT?
Learning cuss words everyday. Gay, ho, fucking a slut butt first, what?.
But my influences died away, and maybe a part of me did too,
Who knew that moving to North Carolina would be the best thing someone could do?
Rebirth
I wrote for a little bit, but mostly I wrote songs about my feelings,
Healings and wisdom about the true things I was screening.
Had a girlfriend, but didn't kiss em till my last year of middle school,
What a fool I was to think that my grammar and activities made me cool.
The fire touched me again, like a breath of air inside a chamber of conceit,
Defeated I finally gave way to the the destiny I was going to meet.
I started to write rap instead of rock, I liked beats and not guitars,
How far away from my dream I wasn't sure,
Until google caught Rapverse like a dot upon the radar.
I acted amazing, like I was the best the site could ever want,
Until I lost and lost and lost, my skill was low, and I was getting served,
Like the chocolate dessert in the small town resturant.
I gave up again, but decided to try one more time,
One more line to see if I could impress people with just one more rhyme.
By now the world I knew back home, was nothing compared to this,
The bliss had turned to anguish and my home was becoming a piece of shit.
Dad couldn't hold a job, mom was crying, I saw nothing though,
It was as though my only job was to get better at writing and put on a show.
Then I tried topicals, thought maybe it was like song writing,
Cuz I couldn't diss someone, never have been good at fighting.
Started listening to Nas, and then my dad gave me some amazing news,
Not only was he moving out of our house,
But for another woman, mom looked like she was turning blue.
She knew life was changing, but she tried to make it easy,
Too bad for me, the road to recovery is never that easy.

New Life
Nas, Tupac, Biggie, greater lyricists before their talent was known,
Canibus showing up people, ready to take over the Rapping Throne.
50 Cent topping records, with Buck, Game, and whoever else knows,
I was turning Hip hop, but no one knew how I felt,
I had to hide in my shell because no one seeing what I wrote,
Thoughts and notes in a book, but no one could know.
Finally my life is changing, I see the world like I should have at the start,
Trusting few, befriening many, mocking those who own shopping carts.
Heart to heart conversations? Nah stopped those when used against me,
Freestyling here? Nah just a waste of lyrics to be used against me.
I despise 50 cent and everything that he stands for,
Rap to me is no longer about money, rides, and whores.
I rap for God, because he made my life something to be proud of,
While I rap for him, I hear people saying a loud.
This boy knows the truth, and is trying to reach the young ones,
Funny how I almost became one of the people trying to be reached,
Preached to but never understanding the lyrics people shoved at my feet.
Guess my story isn't over, but maybe I can help cause a breaththrough,
Till then, I guess all I can say is that this story is To Be Continued...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 07-24-05, 12:32 AM   #11
Keith Moon
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shit I'll drop but I need to start right now..I got seriously screwed on time
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Old 07-24-05, 02:51 AM   #12
Keith Moon
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I can't drop right now...unless you want half a verse.I have a bit on a disk but I'm stuck at someone's house and I'm sneakin on they comp..
thanks
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Old 07-26-05, 02:42 PM   #13
Keith Moon
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I'm so sorry...I'll say a quote from my life "Geto ff that computer.I don't want you on it again"...mhmm....there's a third part I'm leaving out for now becuase its already too long.....

Now this is a long verse..the opener is optional but provides insight into the narrartors mind somehow...


Opener


Dear Mother,

Hi it's me again mom, I hope you respond to this letter this time
I know we've had our differences, and I dissapointed you cuz I couldn't shine
We haven't talked for awhile ever since "it" happened
I hope your not angry..I'm sorry for what happened...
They say we have the capacity to change but is that real?
I can't change what I've done or the nagging twitch to kill!
To grab someone in the garden and twist their neck a little bit
Keep the pressure steady until the the junipers echo with its split
Paint the flowers in a red...feed the plants in my viloent aftermath
Drench them with vile characters and cleanse my self with a bath
Doubtless the skin wil stain but I'm too clever too fast
Clear all followed paths with a telekenetic blast
My warpath is clear yet undisclosed I don't think they want you to know
When you think one's mind is twisted is it the body or soul?
Is evil actually that emptiness or does it fill that hole
And does death actually play its keeper or even have a role
Is Philosophy a belief or faith and is faith a belief
My mind's puzzle unfolds all the walls of my room begin to leak
Can you belive the doctor won't even dare to come to my cell
He says my true self is trapped behind a barbed membrane...a cerebral jail
Says my brain's fried..I think that happened when I journeyed to depth's hell
To reclaim my lost soul from the shores of Satan's Well
I someonehow returned complete.having filled my former existence of a shell
How do you know this what you teach?
A million years of scholars have tried to reach me from the other plane
I have transcended all thoughts, and thoughts have transcended my name
I'm now nameless yet I cannot be the teacher..I fufuill the prophecy too well
yet it does not mention how to escape them from my cell
Yet, in the cold dark night I can hear the barely audible whispers
The chills that emit from those voices freeze me to my mental whiskers
They tell me that its the chosen time for my soul to detach
They whisper its time for me to embrace the true black
I hope I don't scare you again, I'm just reporting the truth
You know that I only want to truly love and protect you
I want to move back in but I'm still trapped in this damp cellar or closet
There's broken bottles, food once a week and no water faucet
You need to let me out of here, help me escape from my mind
My self imposed prison, the enemy keeping me behind lines
The hospital wants me dead, Satan's calling too
So I must sit at this door and keep my eyes glued
The doctor tries to give me eye drops says my eyes are pure red
But he doesn't have these demons interfering with his head
The demons whisper its you we want your own fault
My skin burns more than a snail slithering on salt
How can I be at war with myself and evil, yet I kill so freely
Yet I must keep the souls away or the others will abduct me


My eyes snap shut as I wake up from my deep rest
I struggle to breathe as I feel weight lift from my chest
No longer in the room the whispers have been supressed
I feel scared to no longer monitor the creature's ancient dialect
My mind directs me over an invisible path as I trudge through grey sand
The black walls glow vivrantly as I feel its creases with the side of my hand
Utter choas, the room turns and the pitch blacks allows vestiges of dark lights
Superceding fright, I focuss on the meaning rather than my plight
Evil's amphibian approach to me has become a meeting as I race toward its destination
Relief was taunting me around the corner as I almost felt its curious sensation
Fianlly I could know the tormentor who had tortured me all these years
caused so many deaths, drained me dry of all my tears
Experiences culminating in pain, draining my blood for fear
Left me less than a man, less than a human, a sprit wandering here
Squandering the money he had left, for it left me without hope or compassion
mercy, love, sensibility, humor, or even feeling in any fashion
as I reach my destination I wanted to see through the lies
Swim through the spreading disease and penetrate the disguise
No longer an ample oppurtunity for this sickness to thrive
For revealing evil was my true objective, my last will and drive
I mustered up the last courage I could maintain to hold inside
Dismay was a thing of the past the future is knowing and present is suprise
I looked for the first time and was stunned to see my eyes
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Old 07-26-05, 03:40 PM   #14
Os1ris
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Should yours even count......^^^?????????
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Old 07-26-05, 03:47 PM   #15
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I hope this vote counts, im a topical battler myself so ill breakdown each verse.


Os1ris:

Amazing verse, i was kinda suprised because you were going against too other people and you got to choose your own topic, i think it would have been a better battle if all 3 had wrote about the same topic but i guess it was a decent idea. First off, your flow was perfect, almost every line had the ability to just roll off your tongue, which inn a long verse is very hard to do buy tou captured it. You had good wordplay and the imagery was good, i think you could have been a little more detailed but for the most part you ke[t on track. Good choice of a topic and you worked it to your advantage. You were very creative and i liked how you broke it down into 3 parts, you frist 2 parts were almost perfect. I see a couple spots where you could have wrote something different to make it have a better effect but for the most part the first 2 verses were great. Your last verse fell off a bit, i didnt feel it as much but i did get the idea you were putting out there. All in all i think you did really good.

Overall: 8.7/10


The Revelation:

Well first off your verse wasnt as good as it could have been. Your rhyme scheme was off a bit too much, some lines didnt rhyme and other lines werent needed at all. Your imagery was ok but also could have been better. Your topic was good and you should have gotten deeper into it but you kinda slipped off in some places. I liked how you did the chain of events, everything was sort of on a timeline so to speak. Like Os1ris i appreciated the 3 parts of your verse, but you could have been more descriptive. Your emotion was good, when you needed words to describe a feeling you used the perfect ones. It was creative but yet not exactly unique. All in all it was a good verse could have been better.

Overall: 7.4/10


Big Chase:

You as well as the others started off well, the storyline was good but i felt that how you switched up your story quickly was unneccesary. If you would have continued the same way you started the verse it would have had a better impact. The imagery was ok, but you didnt really get too descriptive until the last part of your verse, but when you got detailed, you stuck with it. You have a way with words and know how to use them for your advantage. I think if you would have stayed on that same pattern your verse would have been perfect but you fell off in my opinion too many times. Still a good verse.

Overall: 7.8/10


Vote: Os1ris
 
 


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