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08-29-05, 02:31 PM | #2 | |||||
.The Movement.
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IP: D673 57C3
checking in . .
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09-01-05, 10:07 AM | #3 | |||||
.The Movement.
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IP: D673 57C3
i already won, but here's my drop....
Part I: Verdict I sit, staring up at the ceiling, as the judge walks slowly into the room A small man with a horrible look on his face, one of impending doom He takes his seat, calls order, and begins giving his customary speech The courthouse haunts my thoughts, sucking my life away like a leech My mind strays back to yesterday, when I was still grasping a faint hope Until the first juror said “guilty,” and it echoed six times down the row Now I come back to reality, I’m hearing the judge call order again He speaks: “This man before us is responsible for the deaths of two men” I’m trying to convince myself that he’s talking about somebody else Why was I caught this time? I’d already lived through so many hells The judge continues: “It is my duty to sentence this man for his mistakes Remember that he, not I, is the is responsible for the course his life takes And to me only one punishment makes sense for such a serious violation A life term in prison, without parole, to be served in complete isolation” I almost cried, had he lied? My whole life for a few acts of violence? Now it cannot be denied, I will live the rest of my life in a still silence Part II: Confinement My head is hung in shame as the prison guards escort me to my cell I am too accustomed to escape for me to believe that my capture is real Guards push me into the room, behind me the door is closed and then locked I expect to be freed, to wake up from this nightmare that I’ve wrought But my hopes fade away with the hours, my will to live with the days What had made me believe without a doubt that violence always pays? What if I never pulled the trigger, never threw the bodies into the trash? And even if I got away, would it have been worth their lives for the cash? I tell myself that I was right, that I could not have abandoned my crime But I know that I wouldn’t have shot, if I could go back and change time Now I am left by myself to contemplate, to reflect, to hate, and to unwind The silence plays games with my sanity, drives deeper into my mind Sometimes I am devoured by anger, but not sure who my emotions are for Other days I’ll feel deprived of opportunities that I won’t get to explore Weeks pass, and then months, I am still forsaken and painfully alone Then a woman comes, she taps on the glass, and picks up the phone I try to place a name to the familiar face, have I really forgotten so much? Then I find myself remembering her smiles, and her laughs, and her touch I pick up the phone, relieved, maybe she is here to take me out of my pain I reach out to her, but only touch glass, my anguish is barely contained Now she begins to talk to me, her voice sounds hurt, and betrayed First she is crying, then she starts yelling, I am becoming to be afraid Has everyone whom I once loved turned on me now that I am in prison? I try to explain myself, to apologize, but she tells me that it can’t be undone She slams the phone, walks away, leaving me to my mind and its tyrants Again I am alone with my anger, my guilt, my regret, and the silence |
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09-01-05, 10:45 AM | #4 | |||||
.The Movement.
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IP: D673 57C3
this is my first topical, so please give feed anyways..
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09-01-05, 11:25 AM | #5 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 44A1 07A5
Only your first topical? Well I'm very pleasantly surprised in fact!
First of all, I liked the approach you used to this topic...it may not be the most original one but it's an interesting twist to it nonetheless. I enjoyed how you divided the piece into those two chapters, it was sort of a built-up that brought suspense to it. The imagery was definitely there, I could picture every scene of your story inside my mind throughout the vivid words you used. But the emotion was the strongest aspect in my opinion, I love how the person asked all these questions about his situation and such. It really let the readers know what goes on inside the person's mind and such you know. Definitely keep writing, this was nice!
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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09-03-05, 08:28 AM | #6 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
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IP: 08F2 A85D
Thassarap vote and leave 3 Links
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* Last edited by .Lola Cruez. II : 09-03-05 at 08:32 AM. |
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09-03-05, 11:54 AM | #7 | |||
Just searching.
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Tweety, now why would they need to do that when the other person no-shows? :\ I'm letting it slide this week because so many no-shows and shit.
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