Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
08-29-05, 02:31 PM | #2 | ||||
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 94F0 D261
yo im checkin in...ill drop soon
|
||||
08-29-05, 03:23 PM | #3 | ||||
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 94F0 D261
you open ya eyes one day and everything is fine
you think to yourself "look at this undestructable world of mine" but then in the blink of an eye we all are about to die nobody can help it they have to cry the world go's up in one great flame and suddenly we are all to blame there is one giant puff of smoke everbody thought it was on big joke we all knew one day it would happen but we didnt think so soon now we are better off on the moon you see red and orange flames but hear nothing but screams it is so hot that tha earth is covered in steam if we had taken it more serious we would have been prepared for what has just happend but now there is no time to care but if there was a next time i bet that we wouldnt dare not care and would be more prepared |
||||
08-29-05, 04:18 PM | #4 | ||||
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 94F0 D261
this is my first time so i jus did my best...uppin...holla back at shya boy
|
||||
09-01-05, 01:55 PM | #5 | |||||
.The Movement.
|
IP: D673 57C3
u need to work on ur structure...
some lines are twice as long as others also, it seems like ur rhymes were forced... the first line in a bar is relevant, but the 2nd lines are obviously just to rhyme... using better vocabulary will make it better, and easier for u to rhyme, so that should be one of the first things that u work on... u also need to write deeper than this... the topic is inviting a piece like urs, but u need to look for a different approach to it, or a more emotional story... keep workin on it tho |
|||||
09-01-05, 02:02 PM | #6 | ||||
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 94F0 D261
thanx for the feedback man....appreciate it and no hate bout tha whole leaving tha movement thing...holla at shya boy...peace
|
||||
09-03-05, 08:29 AM | #7 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: 08F2 A85D
Vote and leave 3 Links.
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
09-03-05, 11:45 AM | #8 | |||
Just searching.
|
IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Tweety, I don't see how they'll supposed to get links out of how many battles there are without no-shows... his opponent didn't check in, so I'm advancing him. If you have any problems with the way I'm doing this, be sure to take it up with me on AIM.
|
|||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|