Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
09-12-05, 04:44 PM | #1 | ||||
GG Haterz
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Spektikul vs. Drama Queen
IP: 71E7 6664
Verbal Emotions IV
Check in's are due 2 days after the battles are made. (Wednesday) Verses are due 2 days after the check in date. (Friday) Every participant has 2 extensions they can use. Each good for 1-2 days. Voting goes to Sunday at 6 PM EST/ 2 PM PST. Line limit is 20-30 lines. Every participant must vote on a minimum of 3 battles. Please vote on battles that don't have a lot of votes, it doesn't do any good if a battle with 10 votes gets another while one battle has under 2 votes. Topic: Instant Fame REMEMBER! IF YOU NO SHOW THEN YOUR POSTS WILL BE CUT IN HALF! Good luck
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Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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09-13-05, 12:36 AM | #2 | |||||||
The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
GL to my gurl.
Ps. Go easy on me, lol... |
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09-13-05, 01:03 AM | #3 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 4EE1 19A1
Checkity Check
Usually I won't say this to you but go easy on me too hehe... Well, good luck cutie!
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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09-16-05, 02:20 AM | #4 | |||||||
The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
Instant Fame ~ Introduction ~ There he dwells everyday, with his headphones and pencil Perfecting every line, making the next one more suspenseful Picked on for lacking wealth, ripped shirt and dirty jeans After school he rhymes inside a place for homeless teens Small shows - he never battled, or hated through his teeth Then one day a gang came in, and started up some beef ~ Conflict ~ They kicked him till he bled, then he fell and hit the ground Same evening on the news, some kids burnt the shelter down He got himself together, inside his jeans he found a note "Battle us at the Rap Convention" ...is what they wrote Rappers go from all around, through the record labels eyes If you win they have to sign you, with a $100,000 prize Next day he sat and wrote, more intensely than you'd know Got kids from the shelter, to volunteer within the show ~ Resolution ~ 3 weeks later... "Up next we got some kid we've never heard of, have you? Anyways, hes taking on the leader of another hometown crew" His hands were ice on stage, yet sweat ran down his cheek As he saw the gang pull up, his legs became so very weak Their crew took too long, was their leader ever pissed, man Homeless Shelter kids wouldnt let them in..."no wristbands" "Gimmie a beat", he proceeded to spit and hit the gang dissin Crowd threw their hands up, while their crew could only listen He wrote the perfect verse, they cheered when he was done Then the record labels gave him a cheque because he won ~ Conclusion ~ years later... The gang now watches TV, from deep inside of a prison From a generous donation, they see a new shelters risen The boy that used to rhyme, now a man teaching young voices About how to rhyme in rap, and in life to make smart choices Still wears dirty clothes, even though hes finally fully grown "Cared more about others, than Instant Fame of his own" |
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09-16-05, 02:21 AM | #5 | |||||||
The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
Blahhh @ 30 lines max...
W/e tho. I was hella tired writing this. GL. Ps. Be sure to read the whole thing... |
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09-16-05, 02:22 AM | #6 | ||||
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: BF05 B235
it says 30 liens max? i could have sworn i put it at 50 lol
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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09-16-05, 02:24 AM | #7 | |||||||
The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
*aims gun at Dabatos*
*cocks it back* *aims it at himself in anger* |
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09-16-05, 02:25 AM | #8 | |||||||
The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
If I had 50 lines I could have actually made my verse dope...
Instead I rushed it. But oh well Im dead now, therefore cant speak. .................................................. ............................... |
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09-16-05, 02:33 AM | #9 | ||||
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: BF05 B235
lol omg..........hahah sorry.... lol
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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09-16-05, 12:32 PM | #10 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 71C2 E991
You can elaborate if you want to...I don't mind...
I'ma drop later tonight...
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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09-16-05, 05:16 PM | #11 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 29BF F135
Burden of Instant Fame Here I lay, this tiny creature just out of my mother's womb In the midst of a white room, I only detect a sweet perfume I couldn’t erase though I did not seem to remember her face Nor her embrace, what’s left is how she was pure with grace Never forgot how I was in my decorated cot seeking her hand But I failed to understand that this family was simply a brand A name put out to the crowd, supposedly I should be proud And be on this number nine cloud where crying isn’t allowed There’s no more time to be hostile when you’re born to smile Locked away from outside world like living on a deserted isle Camera lights shining so bright ever since I was a little child First I enjoyed that attention; I was viewing it all so beguiled But shit really hit the fan as that gossiping suddenly began Called names as a dark clan or a part of a big, vicious plan Headlines in the paper such as: “He isn’t really the father!” I learned that in the story of my life I’ll never be the author The inevitable result of this instant fame of that royal name To fade all the shame, my mother taught me to be a dame But behind smiling eyes, I saw her fragile heart torn apart And if we’d part, she’d hold me tight, told me to be smart I tried, oh dear God I know I tried to hide or find a disguise Feeling so guilty for being at a high without having to rise But then that burden of fame became too much to carry We all wished that how we were born, we could now bury Should be filled with a bliss instead we want to be dead We decided to go right ahead and in death we then fled Together…side by side, as a family we ended this fight Our forces collide: we stride like strangers in the night
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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09-16-05, 08:29 PM | #12 | |||
1926
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IP: 0825 899A
Hmm, This Was Fucking Hard.
Because While Both Were Great Pieces You Cant Judge Them The Same. DQ Had A More Detailed Aproach Dragging Out More Detail ... While Spek Went Alittle Slim On The Detail In Order To Fit In The Story. *Scratches Head* Fuck This Is Hard. You Know, I've Gotta Give It To DQ Although I Actually Liked Speks Better, DQ's Was Faaaar More Original While Holding The Same Elements. Spek, Lol You Went To 8 Mile For Me ... I Felt Like I Was Reading Of The Script For That Movie In Rhyme Form. Sooooooo Ya, Vote: Drama Queen Please Return The Favor On Me And Deranged's Battle. |
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09-16-05, 08:42 PM | #13 | ||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: DD10 7062
OK..first.....just to let you know....I am deranged..so....
Spektiful-Decent shit here.Good parts was ....flow wuz good n that the storyline was captivating.Keep me intersted through the whole thing.Now..the bad part..I is saw you were trying to get the idea to us..that the boy was poor.But the only description you used(ripped clothes/dirtyjeans/homeless teen)...wuz bland.And also..the part where the guy got beat up...it went too quick.all you said wuz "they kicked him till he bleed n he hit the ground".One line?I thought you shoulda made 2 bars at least for that part.Bassically..wat i'm trying to tell you is..get more descriptive.I ain't telling you to go Stephen King on us with 20 lines describing one thing..but just be more descriptive a bit. Drama Queen-Ok..vocab n shit wuz good.Followed topic nicely.But...Flow wuz awful.NO offence to that.But it sucked.U seem to have too much text flow..and text flow means when you stretch ur lines or shorten them too much just for structure.And your transition from line to line was horrible.Just seemed to be..outta place.And as for content..good complexity n metas for describing shit...but i have to say...i wuz bored during it.sorry.I just wuz.Maybe..work on flow/transitition...and prob...get more interesting with ur verses? Vote-Spektitful RTF DOWN HERE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!! http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=208348 |
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09-17-05, 01:40 AM | #14 | |||||||
The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
Nice drop DQ!
Upping yall. Ps. Maybe we can get together after the tourny for a real topical...at least 40+ lines. lol. |
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09-17-05, 11:18 AM | #15 | |||||||
The Original Half Ass King
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
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