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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-09-07, 08:51 PM
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#1
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The Write Weight
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L.I. (0-0) vs Mariah (0-0)
IP: EF6E DF27
Write Away Your Thought Week One Matchup L.I. (0-0) vs Mariah (0-0) Ok guys, we didn't have many people show for the preseason, but it is ok because the battles didn't count, and I can understand about the time restraints. Moving on, this week will count on your season record, so make every line you type, worthy of everyone's time. Please try your best to show, and if you need an extension (for whatever reason). Contact me through PM, or AIM (JonathonIsGod). If extension is granted, it will be no longer than 24 hours. Good luck to both, write hard, and try your best! Verse's Due: April 13, Friday Battles Close: April 15, Sunday Please try your best to vote on three battles. Leave links in your check. List of Topics Rules & Regulations Good luck! Last edited by Jonathon : 04-09-07 at 09:12 PM. |
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04-10-07, 09:39 AM
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#2
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Miss Me?
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IP: 6913 8367
checked innnnnnnnnnnn
__________________
That Old School Mother Fucker  Aint That A Bitch? Crhyme Sindicate
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04-10-07, 08:26 PM
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#3
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Championette
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IP: 7FBC 1CE6
checkin in...good luck IJL reppin
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04-11-07, 04:01 PM
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#4
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Miss Me?
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IP: 6913 8367
My man rolled up to my house and quickly hopped out
Beated against the door and continued to shout "Wake up dog! It's time to go. COME ON!" Just another day with a drug deal to perform I need to kick these habits and get back to school But once your in this game you can't just break the rules So we bounce from my crib and hop in his whip I just repeat in my head, "this is my last trip" Then I ask where we're headed and its no quick reply He waits for a second and begins to get shy "We gotta get a package.. about ten bricks from the boss" "So where headed to Maurice's. How much will it cost?" "Nah not that boss. I'm talking the head of it all.." "What?! WHY? YOU TALKIN ABOUT 8-BALL?!?!" "Yeah dog." I just sit there in shock and pity 8-Ball controls every drug deal that runs in our city If you piss him off its sure to be nasty Thats why this car ride turned to silence from laughing "Are we strapped? I mean you know we could die." "Nah man it aint like that." I could tell thats a lie We turn from the highway and everythings murky Approach a dirt road and I could feel death lurking My leg was shaking as this white fence came into sight I clenched my fists as if I were about to fight "We're driving into an ambush!" Two heads pop off with AK's We skid to a halt and take cover. I asked if hes okay No answer.. Three shots to his chest and he passed out 8-Balls infamous shack was my last image before I blacked out 
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That Old School Mother Fucker Aint That A Bitch? Crhyme Sindicate
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04-14-07, 01:04 AM
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#5
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Championette
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IP: 1917 D4DD
Sticks and Stones Slapping of sticks, it happens again A snap of the wrist, the magic begins Roll or pick, you can glide real slick Something to put on your ideal list Mystical visions, toe-pick incisions Life shown in a slow-motion rendition Moving one way, flipping the stone Choosing a place and picking 5-hole The goal is to get one, but it's tough The slightest miss is just enough To make you sad, even upset a bit With the prolific effect that you're shit Move Fast Just bring it, hit the stone while swinging SoulClap? We clap with emotional meaning Out of proportion, the whistles are blown The stone looks like a missile, you know? Check boards, check the next person too While taking the only strength left in you Shoot Pass Sticks and stones may break my bones But this shit being hurtful?...hardly Now you know, what stakes they go Just to play some hockey! |
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04-14-07, 11:08 AM
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#6
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Flyweight
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IP: 6E9A B1F3
Vote Mariah.
Mariah had more complexity in her verse and looked like she actually took time with it. L.I; sorry dude, but it looks like you came lazy.. kinda like you freestyled a story. It had imagery but lacked emotion and you had few internals to compliment the flow. It was a boring read. You both need to work on emotion in your pieces.. try incorporating the five senses or using exclamation points or alliteration to build your pieces to a climax. Word. See ya next week.
__________________
get attached to a rolling stone and you're libel to get crushed.. |
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04-14-07, 12:47 PM
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#7
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Light Weight
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IP: 5725 CFB4
Vote: Mariah
It definitely seemed like she took more time on her piece. You had more complexity than L.I. But you have to work on your emotion. You were just tellin' a story. If it wasn't for your complexity, you probably would've lost. L.I Honestly, your piece wasn't that bad. It just seemed like you whipped it up in about 15 minutes. It came too basic. You had more emotion than Mariah, a better concept than Mariah, but just seemed like you threw it together. You could've easily won the match if you would've just took a little more time to put the piece together more. Good battle to both. 1
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Faime S. Quotez
The Scholar
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04-14-07, 04:48 PM
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#8
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Championette
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IP: 1917 D4DD
2-0, thanks for votes, I'll be voting soon
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04-15-07, 12:46 PM
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#9
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Flyweight
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IP: D372 7B0C
ehh mariah your verse was real boring...nothing i havent seen b4, on the other hand L.I flipped his topic in to sum crazy ass story...
v/li
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 HazeHeads* |
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04-15-07, 08:06 PM
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#10
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The Write Weight
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IP: EF6E DF27
Closed. Mariah (1-0) beats L.I. (0-1)
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