Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
09-13-07, 08:17 AM | #1 | |||||||
illmatic
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quick verse
IP: 791C CF81
My eyes close
All around darkness is all I see/ Not dead, I still bleed/ Consieve thoughts/ pains percieved/ No one left to be but me/ But who's that without the habit/ let it spin out of control, now no chance to grab it/ dagnabbit from screaming my pain my throat has gone horse/ I let life run its course/ Now my skins coarse on my walking corpse/ A broken heart has got me warped/ My loss hurt more than any sentence given in court/ How can I stand as a man when my heart is in pieces/ Pain is brought upon yourself is my thesis/ please believe it Cause I do, in my life pain is all ive felt/ And now I know That I brought it all upon myself/ heres the links: http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3183313 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3183314
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The only thing to fear is fear itself and fear conquers all!!!! Last edited by Young Fear : 09-13-07 at 08:26 AM. |
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09-13-07, 01:21 PM | #2 | |||||||
illmatic
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IP: 791C CF81
Uppin this for critic. Dont sleep on this shit. I need feed
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The only thing to fear is fear itself and fear conquers all!!!! |
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09-13-07, 04:18 PM | #3 | |||||||
I made it and il end it
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IP: 5EE2 AE55
yo man all gud,im no critic but flowed well,real and i felt it.
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09-13-07, 05:52 PM | #4 | ||||||
Banned: Biting
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IP: D81F 7E88
you doing better fam, i let this one....
i felt the topic and u was more creative with this one only thing thou i feltlike u could of made u'r bars longer and made this verse longer but u getting better i dig's it fam... 7.5 ouuta 10 300 J.G WE RUNNING THIS RAP SHIT..... |
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09-13-07, 08:23 PM | #5 | |||||
..........
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IP: 9204 9119
Quote:
my bad for sleepin... but u know how it is on RV now days.....anyways.....nice little piece foreal i think this one of the best ive seen from u in all it was a smooth read.....keep it up and keep elevating ....~1~
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B.E.S.T.....HAHA |
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09-14-07, 03:12 PM | #6 | |||||||
illmatic
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IP: 791C CF81
Good looking peoples. No doubt Km. I still got a lot of improving but Im getting there.
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The only thing to fear is fear itself and fear conquers all!!!! |
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09-15-07, 03:39 PM | #7 | ||||
oh yea?
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IP: 0F55 47E0
i liked this had a poetic feel to it. your wording wasnt bad and the lines were short but ye still came across as aight.. some good thoughts in this and shit. def displayed a little something something. keep it up
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AIM = David Lama says
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09-19-07, 08:19 AM | #8 | |||||||
illmatic
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IP: 791C CF81
good looking out peoples. still uppin for feedback.
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The only thing to fear is fear itself and fear conquers all!!!! |
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09-19-07, 08:38 PM | #9 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: D1AF D35D
decent ish here......was very poetic.....i got the flow down on this one so kudos....as far as ur content, nothin amazin.....u painted a picture that didnt have a shyt load of color and wasnt detailed.....meanin u gotta dig a lil deeper......think of what the reader needs to see.....i see what u mean but i wanna SEE it
coo shyt tho |
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10-11-07, 12:54 PM | #10 | |||
сварливый
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IP: 30B6 8894
Closed. Lameness. lol
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