Round 2

15 Line Min.
25 Line Max.

Check In: Monday, September 15th.

Due: Saturday, September 20th.


Topic: Intertwined Souls

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<center><br>
- The End -
Original Rb Admin
And Still Watching Over You. <br> <img src=http://home.houston.rr.com/tacofox/epenis222.gif></img><br> -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-

Although im still feeling like an overcooked asparagus because of work and all that crap in my life....i would still make it appoint that my text are already 100 characters cuz if they are not...i couldnt post this.


^in short...check in.

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

preach is out and is attending to some business~ so im just checking in for ol boi~ and i just wanna let you guess know that he will be here! and yea~ that should be 100 characters



ummmm~~

one

A grievance or some sort of dilemma has fallen upon me, cased me in a curse that is known only through apathy
You are imagining things that have yet to pass or of mental wishes of a forbade tragedy
What of your mental virtue? Have you no ethic in the trials that I hath than beseech you? Do you wonder of the life, a psychopath would be?
I laugh at such accusations…do you dare undermine my quality of morality in ethic? Or is it that you cannot see me as a whole?….
I do not question your morality, though I do question your prosperity…. for the gift of which you are to obtain…to preserve…THAT is your highest goal….
Can you not see that I AM the bearer of all what is of being on my surface…I am as formidable as any entity… for I am one…
I hold the keys to all…I control what shall be on my surface…I am the bringer of a cycle…of the moon and of the sun….
To what sources do you answer than…other than yourself…. what greater good are you, when you have to look up to but none…
As will not be…for I am a true believer of what I am capable of…to achieve is the greater good and for the prosperity…
You grant your own destiny…. and in it, the demise of your land will be of your doing unto it, and done by its inhabitants…
Why such belligerence in your speech….I shall not comply with such insolence for your tongue makes not a pinch of petty sense….
Fine but I leave you to your own word…and I leave you to cultivate your own manifest destiny in which you seek….
Fah!..i wouldn’t have it any other way…I am of a being that is superior in my own self intrest…lest you never again speak
If that is what you wish…but I shall keep an ever watchful eye…of all and every your failures, and successes….
I need not your pity….for I am certain of what lies ahead…just as I said, I am superior…I need not your blesses…






Heaven and Earth separate….forever.... both never to speak to one another again…Heaven gazes and watches over Earth…and surmises the earths ability to prosper…to whom will it truly answer, to when someone is to be called upon?
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But Heaven

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freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

Time bounces over an innocent man's shoulders
Molding a dime. Asking permission to grieve. It's over.
Two Steps back has been taken already framed by history.
Haunting regret. Nothing more to do. It's Predestined Tragedy.
Blurry shades of happiness across a young boy's face.
Trace his grandfather's footprints through his better place.
A life thread has been cut. An old man departed from his family.
He had been able to give a large part of hiself to others, responsibly.
Loyal husband. Reliable companion. Trustworthy friend. Overqualified.
Connection to each prism like an architect who built their home. Satisfied.
Tried to hide the scar from its bond. Masked his sorrows with laughter.
Then he would remembered the "Death Messenger". Remorsed feeling there after
Alone in his bedroom reminiscing memories painted from the past
Forsaken farewell never given. Thats the last thing he didnt cast
A sudden change of environtment. He found himself in a strange site.
A warm hand was touching his skin. Holding it with all his might.
HE glanced at his right. He was sitting next to him. His grandfather.
"Are you gonna come back with me?" The young boy asked as he looked further
The old man whispered, "Just whistle and I'll come to you".
A tear fell down from his eyes and replied "Goodbye. I love you."
The sound of the falling leaves awakened him to reality. He was dreaming.
His voyage was God's plan. A wonderful smile rekindled his lips. He learned something.
Gladness in his heart that he did what he had not done. The journey was aligned.
Great and important debt came across. At least even in his dream their souls intertwined.

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

Really nice job, both of you. Two different but great translations of the topic...

Madd~
I loved your verse, the concept was brilliant and extremely creative..You executed it well, nice dialogue and vocab, great imagery, deep thought provoking statements, really just all around well done. Heaven's parts seemed so full of knowledge, which was appropriate, while earth's kind of resembled what an ignorant man might say, which was also appropriate..Like i said, I really liked the whole heaven/earth thing, and I also think it could be left open to symbolism, the people and god, ect. The ending bit was also a nice, a good finishing touch on everything just read, and the preceding . . . .'s had a nice effect before revealing "heaven" at the bottom....Kind of showed the interdependence (or intertwining) of earth and heaven..as opposed to the contradictory of them seen in the dialogue......It all just left me feeling like I really took something from the piece. Great job.

Shiznit~
You did a nice job, also..It was nice to see a relationship portrayed between a grandfather and grandson instead of the typical guy/girl that first comes to mind when you think of "intertwined souls". Anyway, you had great imagery, and the piece had a great poetic essence to it, right in the first lines even. The poem had a great message in it. I think it was a hard concept to pull off in only 20 lines, cuz it could have used a little more background or such about the boy or the grandfather, but the way you constructed it seem to work well for the piece as a whole. Nice verse, great imagery, good message...........

However....Shiznit's verse was more literal, a story telling type, which was great, a deep story at that, But i really liked the way Madd's verse was just more open to contemplation..it hit me a little harder and i liked the way he incorporated the topic a little more subtly rather than literally the way Shiznit did. Madd's verse just seemed to more creatively and effectively jusitfy the concept, while Shiznit dropped a nice verse, the elements of Madd's verse make him the winner of this battle, in my opinion.
Nice job by both, tho.

VOTE: MADD PREACHER

i have to give it to madd preacher on this one, the sheer originality and great back and forth idalogue between heaven and earth was absorbing as hell. creativity is a strong quality in poetry even more than rap-text. although shiznit still came with good imagery and a good idea for the poem, the difference is clear.

vote- madd preacher

It's important that everyone feels they are being fairly judged, and Johnny's critiquing (or lack there of) just wasn't cuttin' it.

Camarac will be judging (assuming he agrees to), So all of Johnny's votes thus far will be DISREGARDED.

This battle is 1-0 right now, in Preacher's favor.

It is awaiting votes from Phrantik and/or Camarac.

So SHIZNIT, GIRL, YOU CAN'T CELEBRATE BEING OUT OF THE TOURNY JUST YET! CUZ YOU'RE STILL IN IT! SORRY!

Yay for me.


I am sooooo glad that im out of the tournament already so i dont have to cram no more whenever i havent got my piece posted. Shitty work is killing me.

My piece was dedicated to someone and i was kinda dissappointed that i only did it for 45 minutes. It couldve been better. It seems to me that my piece was out of the tourny like type but a very deep inspirational one for that special someone that i dedicated it too. Ill have this edited so it would be a much more meaning that it already has.


Madd Preacher, you really did i nice job. To be honest with you..the HEaven and Earth concept was a very creative touch of art. I really think that you put in a lot of time and effort doing that and uve succeeded. I really liked it.

COngrats Man. You deserved it.
Good luck in Rnd 3

...no more brainstorming at work while cooking...yay!

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

lol....thank you shiznit for ya compliment...i liked ya piece too on the real...but to be honest with you...truly...that piece only took ya boi about 10 minutes to do...if not less...nah mean...

most of yall should learn...that the soul flows more fluently than the mind...heh!...on the real...you learn that...you'll have reached the dominant goal..of obtainment of illness

but even iller pieces can take up to 3 minutes to write..and thats no joke!..


"be one with your self"..sounds corny but shiiiiiiiit....you try


igido

__________________
freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

O GAWD...
You got ONE VOTE, you aint win the Nobel Peace Prize..

Modesty is a virtue, you know.

^so no yay for me still?...



damn ....I am beginning to think that no matter what happens i would still be out...yehey!...so this is a precelebration for now..(just fillin in the 100 characters)...

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

lol...ok ok...and END i dont mean to spam man...imma quit after this post an let it ride...im just gon speak ma piece...


your right DGR...baby girl you are...but imma pimp ..i cant help but be a lil cocky...but i understand...got nothin but love an respek for ya..and to you too shiznit ...i wonder what you look like girl?...both of yall actually ...


igido

__________________
freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

the end dosent care hes not here anymore.....
nice to admit that your cocky...or confident...

dont get em confused....you got one vote man....
it has nothing to do with being 'polluted by haffa dolla'
shizzys not really in the mood to go any further
though...and neither am I if nancy loses...