Corrupted Visions:"Words"(take your time and read..)
 

From L.A. to New York, there's too much pain to swallow
From the projects to trailors parks it's too much pain to swallow
yet i can't cry, cuz my heart still remains too hollow
so i'm a make these words shed tears to display my sorrow

Yo we slippin in an abyss where sinnin persists, why we livin like this
shit nowadays men are hittin women wit fists
and little children follow villains cuz they fathers is gone
won't take on the obligation that they brought to this globe
plus Eden's gardens have grown, into a zone where wrongs are sown
filled wit moans of the atoned, as bombs are blown
i stand all alone, gazin over the wholeness of society's motives
we moldin coldness in our souls and live our lives like we frozen
like we oblivious...to tragedy's agonies man i'm serious
this is some dreary shit, the way that time pass by
and we stay blind to this strife, as if we lookin through glass eyes
yet cryin is somethin that i can't do
cuz i've been hardened by this game and it's pain too
so listen as i brang you....words that weep for my retained blues........ugh, check it, these are uncried tears..

Indefinite portaits where forceps were the forces that began all my suffering
excreting me from my cozy conditions into the light, where life does the smothering
where wuthering winds of malice threw my cradle off balance
puttin me in perilious situations to have my feelings becomin calloused
til the foulest happenings of this planet aren't enough to stir tears
birthed in years, where the worth of peers, is determined by the burst of cheers
when you finally reach the red carpet in this cursed frontier
my emotions are seared, by the flames of hell
encasin this place, in which our races now dwell
and the faces will tell, the tales, of tattered and beaten souls
in the baddest stories told, about the wrath that leaves 'em cold
the same havoc that's grasped my spirit to leave it broken in shambles
we the most hopeless of animals, provoked into scandals
gettin lost in the evil, til life as a whole is a gamble
and my tear ducts are clotted fountains of pain, trapped in mountains of rage
lookin down on a valley that's been drowned in the hate
cry?, man i still can't...that's why i put emotions in ink and let 'em spill on this page..

Wars for peace?.....man, that makes no sense
support the ones who teach?....nah, that makes no cents
provide a haven for needy?....politicians won't do it
power and money?....common rich men won't lose it
good homes for our children?....why?, when they a lost cause
give the unemployed some jobs?....why? when illegal aliens work for a lower cost
show sympathy for thy neighbor?....i think that that's an extinct fad
violence and evil?....it appears that that's our distinct path
i pray to god so much, i'm in need of some knee pads
it makes me sad, the sinful axel on which, this world is turned
and in my stagnant pits of pain, is where these words are churned
the poison of uncried tears is why my soul is burned...ugh, now let these words weep..

From L.A. to New York, there's too much pain to swallow
From the projects to trailors parks it's too much pain to swallow
yet i can't cry, cuz my heart still remains too hollow
so i'm a make these words shed tears to display my sorrow

..Uppin..

once again, niggaz can't fuck wit ya bredren

stand all alone, gazin over the wholeness of society's motives
we moldin coldness in our souls and live our lives like we frozen
Anymore questions?

:laugh: thank you~thank you~thank you~ :laugh:
anyone else~

yeah, nice drop..... seems like my sorta style a bit.... with the multis and the way you carry the rhyme.... the actual content, what you was saying was understood.... the vocab was decent, but would have really set it off, if there was a bit more.. like mine..lol.... but yeah good drop...pZ

had everything, many quotables, multis, complexity and an amazing scheme, you put it together well...i fully accept and understand what you were saying...

dope..keep at it!

..Thanks for the replies...anyone else????

..Uppin...

that shit is hot fa real. the only problem i got wit is that the second verse structure was bouncing back and forth... but still all ya bars wuz on some real. ya hook just complete the picture. im lovin the third verse by the way, it just finishes the whole peice. keep spittin drops like that. holla front

this peice was ill dude...

Better then the other shit I've read from you....

From L.A. to New York, there's too much pain to swallow
From the projects to trailors parks it's too much pain to swallow
yet i can't cry, cuz my heart still remains too hollow
so i'm a make these words shed tears to display my sorrow

Nice...
Overall I would give you an 8/10
some lines lacked...felt forced in other words....
but what you really put emotion into sounds great

This song would be sick on audio...you should look into that

(Please hit my sig up)!!!!!

..Thanks for the replies..

This was some nice work. You had everything, and at the perfect amount. I liked to Quotables in there, and you had your own style in there. Good work, I havent seen your drops befor. But I plan to see more in the future... thanks for the reply in my thread...
Keep Elevating

yea this was good...i think ya structure has Improved Since The Oter On I replied to...ya flow is still really good i think you FLow Looks Natural in Your Pieces When Most people Make it Look Like The have Tried So hard to get it to Flow....ya had a few Multis that made it pretty Good Man....any way Keep Elevaten In ya Structure and Ya Vocab...PeacE...

Yeh this was nice...a good concept yet again
I liked the structure of it and the matephor's...real nice

dont like it its 2 long