RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Front Lines Battles (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=63)
-   -   Lethal Lunatic vs Bomber-Z (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=133122)

Paris Hilton666 07-03-04 07:17 PM

Lethal Lunatic vs Bomber-Z
 
10-12 lines
you spit first
after you check in each of us get 30 minutes

g'luck ya'll need it

Graphical 07-03-04 08:27 PM

checking in ill have my stuff in like 5-10 mins aite..

Graphical 07-03-04 08:28 PM

Aight check it…

Don’t try to be a Lloyd Banks wannabe/
You better “beg for mercy” so don’t even try to make a contaversy//

You probably thought I couldn’t spit this hard/
U made the wrong move by choosing that card//

Yes the card where u get killed by bomber-z /
Uh huh yea ur getting killed me//

This what ima do tie u up n throw in coffin/
Don’t try and mess wit me “I’m steady mobbin”//

This is it rip Lethal Lunatic/
Ur not Lethal at all come back against me when u grow a dick//

aite ur turn

Paris Hilton666 07-03-04 08:54 PM

I came easy and still gonna merk him

I’m gonna “lyrically bomb” this little stupid kid, cuz he neva knew it
That he was messin wit a lunatic, that can actually spit venomous fluid
Your name fits you perfect Bomber-Z, your last against me and alphabetically
Now who’s winnin you or me...well its me, but sorry that you couldn't see
Sorry that your sig doesnt actually fit you but it does fit me
But now you see...that I do “drop bombs” like a soldier in an army
This kid ask me can I join your crew, and I said hell now just look at you
I seen your battles and non of your hits, hit they just flew rite through
Drop the “nine line” and “blast a shot” lyrically but it can still “hit” you
And now you know how it feels to have a “punch” not pass through

illiance 07-03-04 08:59 PM

Bomberman your verse was alright structurally but creativly it was poor. There was not much in the way of creativity or originality and the wordplay lacked too, plus there wasn't one punchline in there whihc hit it's target. Anyways I guess I can see potential as long as you keep learning and elevating it's all good man good luck.

Lunatic your verse started off well and I thought you were going to easily rip him but your whole style fell off after the first two lines: although they didn't contain punches or personals I just thought they flowed nicelt and it was a good opener. After that though it was pretty poor, just because you put ""s around a word it doesn't make the line a punchline.

However, overall Lethal's was marginally better than Bomber's, structurally and creativly.

illiance 07-03-04 09:00 PM

Yo I'll come back when I've got enough posts to vote.

Peace.

Paris Hilton666 07-03-04 09:05 PM

well I drop a nine line means I'll drop a nine the gun in my line and blast a shot to him complicated lol but thnx for the vote uppin

I had like two punches but w/e

Graphical 07-03-04 09:10 PM

uppin for votes... people dont sleep on this battle!

QBsmasher 07-03-04 09:24 PM

This battle was pretty even, i had a hard time choosing who I liked the most.

Bomber-Z you need to work on your structure, it really hurts your flow, and it makes it harder to read and understand. I had to pause a few times when i was reading it. Lethal had a much better sound structure and his flow was right on point.

I didnt think neither one of you used any creativity, or any good metas. The verses were both pretty generic. The punches that lethal was throwing was connecting harder. Neither of you had a good opener, but Lethal did close his battle out nicely.

v/Lethal

Malefic 07-03-04 09:27 PM

Bomber
Don’t try to be a Lloyd Banks wannabe/
You better “beg for mercy” so don’t even try to make a contaversy//
flow is off 1/10
You probably thought I couldn’t spit this hard/
U made the wrong move by choosing that card//
what card? 1/10
Yes the card where u get killed by bomber-z /
Uh huh yea ur getting killed me//
o that card.....not 1/10
This what ima do tie u up n throw in coffin/
Don’t try and mess wit me “I’m steady mobbin”//
self hype. halfa punch 1/10
This is it rip Lethal Lunatic/
Ur not Lethal at all come back against me when u grow a dick//
kinda funny. but dumb also. 2/10
No hate. But you have alot of work to do. Elaborate on your lines more. be more descriptive and creative.
6/50

Lethal
I’m gonna “lyrically bomb” this little stupid kid, cuz he neva knew it
That he was messin wit a lunatic, that can actually spit venomous fluid
personal...but then self hype. 3/10
Your name fits you perfect Bomber-Z, your last against me and alphabetically
Now who’s winnin you or me...well its me, but sorry that you couldn't see
good personall....last line lil filler. 4/10
Sorry that your sig doesnt actually fit you but it does fit me
But now you see...that I do “drop bombs” like a soldier in an army
doesnt' flow. not good. kinda gay. 1/10
This kid ask me can I join your crew, and I said hell now just look at you
I seen your battles and non of your hits, hit they just flew rite through
confusin...jus alot of jibber-filler 2/10
Drop the “nine line” and “blast a shot” lyrically but it can still “hit” you
And now you know how it feels to have a “punch” not pass through
pretty good metiphore/wordplay, easilt best line. 6/10
Structure was good. You have the right idea on personals. Just focus a lil more on your punches now. Not bad. But not good. Just tweak up some thing's. Good Job.
16/50

Malefic 07-03-04 09:28 PM

O yeh.
Vote/Lehtal

Drop an honest vote on the battle's in my sig. Thanks.

Paris Hilton666 07-03-04 10:52 PM

Yo we're in the same crew you cant vote on hear but thnx for the feed back uppin

SONIC 07-03-04 11:00 PM

bomberz... You fist bar did not rhyme..
the second bar was a simple rhyme and didn't make sense..
3rd bar was simple rhyme scheme and whack punch

the 4th and 5th were also weak, should I have to explain more..

Lethal your verse was ok, some of it was mediocre though, but it flowed better, with better stucture..

V/Lethal

Yo, return tha favor in one of my battles, will you?
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=132827

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=132904

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=133042

Peace......

Paris Hilton666 07-04-04 02:29 PM

........uppin...........
........will return the favor..

Paris Hilton666 07-05-04 02:20 AM

uppin
will return the favor


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:16 AM.