>>>>>>>Yesterday Never Dies<<<<<<<
 

* Da Vinci after just watching the 007 Seriers, presses button on watch and a laser burns through the rope that was prohibiting his mobility. Then Da Vinci slowly climbs out of cubboard that his enemy has put him in.

Seeing Nostradomus working away at his computer... Da Vinci slowly creeps up behind and reaches for his knife. BUT WAIT !!!!! Da Vinci can not find his knife, he remembers he used it to butter bread this morning for breakfast.

Looking around Da Vinci's keen intellect and divine wit are searching for the next best thing...searching......searching...Da Vinci see's a piece of lined paper....


*hmmmmmm* thinking to himself *if I could use the edge on this paper i could slit his throat by means of paper cut*

Da Vinci grabs the paper, notices Chelsea's phone number on it and quickly makes a mental note....

Now back to the task at hand.....Da Vinci kreeps up behind his arch enemy Nostradomos to see him working vigrously away at....wait......HUNGRYMEN.COM????? This isn't the plans for RV domination??? No matter....this job must be done...

Da Vinci slowly slides the papermate, .5mm below his rivals neck and in one quick pull of the wrist...slits his throat...

Alas......Nostradomus is dead....and our hero has saved RV and all its habitants....the site is saved and shall live another day..

Then later on, in a hospital.. Nostradamus is in a coma from blood loss.. Its dark and quiet in the hospital room, but slowly his eyes open and he regains conciousness... With one thought on his mind... Revenge..

Slowly as he crawls out of the hospital ward and the blood flow to his legs is regained. He begins walking, cursing from all the fucking pins and needles.. He picks up a scalple and steals a doctors uniform from an office accross the corridor.

He then proceeds outwards with a surgeon's mask on to hide his face heading towards the ambulance bay. When he gets there, he hotwires an ambulance and speeds off down the road.

*Two hours later at a large penthouse @ blue smoke casino in Las Vegas*

Da Vinci, the 300 pound mamoth, is eating chicken on his king size bed watching tv.. Nostradamus pulls up aside the casino, pulls out some fiber wire and chokes a guard stealing his uniform and handgun. He then walks inside the casino and takes the elevator up to the top floor.

Once at the top floor, he climbs out a window scaling the outside of the building and looks into Vinci's bedroom.. He see's him watching german porno with some fat woman with hairy armpits sucking a dog off... Grossed out.. He forgets his master plan for murdering Vinci and simply fills Da Vinci's head with 18 rounds out of his glock..

He then escapes by way of the front door of the casino... Undetected.. And goes back to the RV pub for a laugh telling the story of how he killed Vinci..

To Be Continued.

Slowly a the limo pulls out from the lot across the street. As it slowly creeps to a stop a window slides down.

Da Vinci's face can be seen.

*Hmmmm* our hero's says

*I knew that body double might be of some assistance"

"But Sir" Shyla the chefiuer questions "How could a 300 pound chicken eating imbusul. Be mistaken for you, your fit, hung like horse funny, rich, charming, and goodlooking?*

*Thats because my dear Nos is and idiot*

As the limo pulls off into the night Da Vinci turns on the transmitter, a red hue flickers on the palm pilot and the chase is on.

It was a quiet day in the desert roads around Las Vegas, sand was blowing quietly, the sun was shining and everything was peaceful.. THEN THERE WAS A CAR CHASE...

Da Vinci was in a black limo and speeding at over 160 miles an hour, followed closly by RV's Hero, Nostradamus in a black GTR 34 Skyline with beyonce in the pasenger seat giving him head... He leans out of the window, this doesent disadvantage beyonce at all because Nostra has a gigantic cock that hangs inside the car..

Anyway.. The chase is on, Nostra is shooting vinci's car with a rather large assault rifle and they are both being chased by cops... (however, a sudden rain storm starts and the cop cars are all blown up by lightning bolts killing them all instantly)..

And Nostra and Vinci's car chase continues on heading north.. TOWARDS CANADA...

* Just as I anticipated, Beyonce, he's falling for your other body double*

"But sir, I found that guy in prison, she is acutally a he....he's well.....a transvestite"

* Well it shouldn't matter, Nos is not the sharpest knife in the draw...in fact he'd be a spoon*


As Da Vinci and Nos continue the chase on there anticipated destination CANADA, Da Vinci quickly punches a few quick keys in the cars mainframe. Within seconds the car is droped and trasformed into a 350 Spyder Equiped with rocket lauchers.


As Da Vinci, loads the 355 assault cannon and takes careful aim he has NOS in his sights, however just as he etches his fingure on the trigger, the real Beyonce slides her hand on Da Vinci's inner thigh. Now.....not being one who get's down like Nos aparently does...this takes Da Vinci by a pleasant surprises. The gun jolts just enough, and with the trigger squeezed the cannon goes off. Simutaniously, Gayounce who was in the passanger seat in Nos's car, brings her head up, only to have it clearly blown off.

*Well thats using her head* Da Vinci quirps back as the proceed at breakneck speeds as they approach Montanna.

Nostradamus's car spins out of control on Canada's icy roads... So he press's the eject button and flyes out of the roof of the car in a rocket seat.. Watching as his car rams straight into a house.. 'Damn, he thinks.. That car had A LOT of explosives in it.." simmiltaniously, a man runs out of the house... Oohh, its phenom_in_all who was rapping at the time.. But his cussing is short lived as the explosives then go off and kill phenom instantly..

Nostra then flies on his rocket chair towards his next destination... Montana...

3 hours later, Nostra ends up in montana.. Probably a while after the evil crazy scientist (who has no game with the ladies) arrives.. He suspects he is in blue smoke casino's montana base.. So Nostra heads that way, in a Ferrari Enzo going at over 190 miles an hour..

Upon arrival at the blue smoke casino (montana base) he scales the wall with an absailing device and finds vinci on the roof trying to flee from nostra in a helicopter.. Because he is a scared little man.. Nostra climbs onto the roof and runs and quickly shoots both of vinci's body guards in the head.. He then quickly free's both the olson twins that vinci was trying to kidnap and rape.. :(... because he is not able to get chicks without the use of force... (Damn rapists).. And Nostra also quickly hooks in and gets their phone numbers and takes 2 phone calls from paris hilton trying to get a fuck while she was in town...

But after all that, Nostra and vinci have a really crappy show down talk..:

Nostra: You should never have come back here villain!!
Vinci: Ha Ha.. you will never kill me you.. Incredibly handsom, well hung fit man..................That is my enemy..!!!
Nostra: *Takes some time posing heroically* Yes you bastard! you killed my family!..
Vinci: What is your point!!
Nostra: Well, I dispise your killing.. Your raping.. etc etc
Vinci: Are you.......My judge?
Nostra: No, I just think you must be punished..

"IM GONNA CHOP OFF YOUR ARM...........ARE YOU READY?"

Nostra then proceeds to sword fight with vinci for about 5 minutes, then they say.. fuck this and start punchin on like a mutha fucka.. and then... in a dramatic scene, Nostradamus cracks vinci's neck and kills him..

He then Takes the helicopter and flies away while getting a blow job from paris hilton..

He is heading for New York...

An Airport nearby................................








*Whats that?? Okay.....Okay.....Uh-huh.....I see.......so my clone did work....... alright......well.....sacrafices must be made.......yes I'm sorry too...okay....uh-huh...
goody-bye"

Da Vinci hanges up the phone as the learjet makes its way down the runway.

*And where are we heading tonight sir?*

*Tyra...were heading to New York*

A mere 5 hours later, Da Vinci's plane touched down in New York...

*this is it* he thought *the final showdown*



As Da Vinci vigrously went over the plans of Nos's "wackness camps" Tyra stepped into the room....

She looked a little flustered and Da Vinci knew that it had been a rough couple days and she had not seen his gargantuan girth in a few. She was wearing a pink victoria secret lace, it dripped over her shoulders and almost seemed to be suspended just above the clevage of her bust.

Knowing that time was of the essence Da Vinci wasted no time. With two claps of his hands her clothes flew off her body and Vinci went to work....

Three days later when Vinci had finished he knew that it was now time......................time to deal with Nos and his terrorist threat to all Rap in the universe.

For years Nos and his group of wack sidekicks had possed as threats to all young influential youth. Nos was the ringlead much similar to Osama Bin Landen both shared unique facial features...but as well while Osama was running terrorist camps....Nos on the other hand was running wackness camps.

Training day and night, pumping out hundreds of wack verses in hopes that he could influente todays youth.

~~~~~~~~6 hours pass~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Da Vinci krep outside the penthouse, he knew Nos was expecting him. There were no secrets this time..there were no surprises this was going to be show down......



*So you found my secret layer I see...*

*Yea...wasn't to difficult, you are listed ya know*

*Er....Ah....Yea of course I know that*

As the two stared each other down, Da Vinci laughed to himself thinking that Nos had fallen for his trap and when he planned to clone a transvestie Paris Hilton and Olsen twins, at the time he wondered if it would be worth it....Seeing his arch rival across from him and the white substance hanging from his upper lip he knew now that it was all worth it.

*So how do you want to do this*

*Well I was thinking.......BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM *

Fuck why waste time with convo, half way through his sentance Da Vinci rip's out the 9 mm and puts two in each eye socket of Nos. Searching through his wallet he finds the map to his clonning layer....

~~~~sometime passes~~~~

As Da Vinci finished placing the last of the c4 on the cloning layer he knew now that htis would indeed be the last he would hear of Nos and the wackness camps.


*now* Da Vinci thought for himself, *To find Osama*

The Aftermath...

As vinci runs out of Nostradamus's mansion, Nostradamus is safly nesled inside his room watching on a security camera screen as the twit Da Vinci shoots holes in the eyes of a fucking cardboard stand...... (idiot)

Nostradamus thinks to himself.. "Hmm.. I really must get rid of this annoyance.."

So he pushes Jessica alba off his cock and walks out of the room with his third leg dragging on the ground behind him putting on a hugh hefner type velvet robe.. He goes out to his personal air port and boards his private jet after hearing Vinci's last transmission about finding osama bin ladin for a gay orgy in afgannastan..

* 6 hours later *

As the plane touches down in Afgannastan, Nostradamus has a small walk through town.. but finds nothing except ugly old bitches that wear things over their faces to stop people fainting from their asshole shit ridden faces.. "How can people live like this.." he thinks to himself.

But nevertheless, he has a mission to complete. And he knows that vinci will be somewhere in the mountains making more of his male clones to have gay sex with.. So Nostradamus heads towards the mountains in a fully done up Supra RZ going at 210 miles an hour with special sand tires..

Not after long, he reaches Osama Bin Ladins gay house and is greeted by this man..


Dammit!! Its one of Da Vinci's Evil clones of himself!! Nostradamus quickly pulls out a SPAS 12 Shotgun and shoots the clones head off.. He then proceeds into the cave that is believed to have been recently renovated by Vinci and all the walls have been painted pink with flower murials..

Nostradamus ventures deeper into the cave and is alarmed by the amount of gay minions he is killing along the way.. He then comes up towards Vinci's two most loyal dick riders.. Empire and LyricalFlows..


And Nostradamus quickly shoots them.. But is discusted at all the dried up white matter on their faces.. Yuk..

But moving along, Nostradamus continutes into the cave eventually finding Vinci and Osama taking a bath together and Da Vinci is doing Osamas hair for him.. Discusted once again by Vinci's gayness, Nostradamus Keeps his distance, plants a nuclear device and then rockets out of the cave in a jet pack that magically formed on his back at the time..

Then, as music plays a Nuclear blast is heard from the safety of a private jet, Nostradamus is once again getting a blow job from a random supermodel he picked up along the way.. And is sipping on some cognak thinking...

"Damn kids"...

R.I.P Da Vinci 1522-2004



THE END... OR IS IT?

(Lurking in the ashes of the afgannastanian desert, a hand pokes out of the sand and clenches a fist!!!)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously thats sum funny shit there props to living up RV for a moment

this is so gay yall must both be drunk again lol

wow ya'll got way to much time on your hands

LMAO

hahaha,

that was some funny ass shit, Y'all neeed to keep it goin...

namsayin :thumbup:

this is fuckin funny as fuck man

props to nos and vinci for putting something worth reading on this site

u do have way too much time though if u be puttin that much shit down

livens up the site more..........u shud keep it goin, or do sumthin else similar.