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-   -   A Heart Split In Two Ft. "fi-del" (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=160856)

streetryda 11-17-04 09:16 PM

A Heart Split In Two Ft. "fi-del"
 
streetryda:

girl you got my mind shrouded and clouded with your beautiful face...
embrace my feelings, im astounded that u invited me inside ya place...
fazed by ur grace and amazed by the chalantness that your flauntin...
wantin ya to remain taunting my testosterone, giving me jauntiness...
distrought wits is the feeling im left with when you've been around...
pounded the wall when i found out i couldnt come cuz im grounded...
rerouted the path and laugh at all the mistakes i made in the past...
at last i think i found someone to be mine, hope dont go too fast...
drafted and crafted you into my life that is filled with complexity...
expectedly directed u to be the only one thats to be next to me...
sexually active and left me distracted and pheenin and scheemin...
believin ya when you said i was the best and that you werent leavin...
treating ya to the rest of the world cuz ya keep leavin me swirled...
twirled ya around the dance floor and ill buy diamonds and pearls...
girl you dont understand the heart of this man i hope we're forever...
severd my arteriers and cut out my heart when i got more clever....
rememberd that guy you called but i didnt think anything about him...
shoutin at you cuz im hating myself for the emotions now doubted...
mounted my heart on the shelf so everyone would see my feelings...
kneeling and praying that my sins, could i repent all of my dealings...
stealing my heart was something that is thought to become love...
tugged at my emotions, only person to turn to is the lord above...
erase my steps, no trace is left to where we only came direct...
correct my wrongs and i despise your eyes is what u should expect...
infect ya mind and stress this knife comin by the end of the night...
rewrite my rhymes to express my mind about how ima end ya life...
scrpits cant contain what remains to be said about this stupid bitch...

yo tell em "fi-del"

"fi-del":

fuck this bitch she too quick to switch then ditch
she's like my nervous twitch..never leaving me alone
Think's she royalty..like she needing a throne.
if I was about to die..id rather be bleeding,gone..
.than seeing her face right before my death.
she kisse's me ..then sez she adore's my breath.
damn this bitch bore's me as if we have nothing left
she ignore's me then left me out in the cold.
im doubting she know's the meaning of love.
im talking to god.. but it's like she's screaming above.
im feinding to shove..this bitch of bridge...
or better yet..bury her in a ditch on the ridge.
i may kill her then freeze this bitch in a fridge..
im unsure how much longer this torment will last
she's turned out to be a permanent task...
......... but then i spark an idea............
maybe if i showed her i care.. like holding her near.
i know that she fear's sentimentle healing's.
..but if I give her love it might repent all feeling's..
I whisper into her ear.. how long will it last?
she turned and started into my eye's ..looking so vast...
i could tell her mind was racing thinking so fast..
.i told her ..this isnt a joke..this vision proke's..
i want to make her more positive with more self esteem..
i told her..."i love you,I wanna build myself a team",
her eye's start to gleam...she say's what do you mean?
i start explaining how she brought out the man in me..
...let's create our own family..

4Blood2Hound0 11-17-04 09:21 PM

10/10... don't know what to say... Beyond sick open mic... If you bitches don't check this one out ima kill your bitch ass... Both verses fire

streetryda 11-17-04 09:23 PM

uppin thanks for the feed fam.......lets get more comin......
peace~1

Heroic Verse 11-18-04 12:40 AM

Both Verses Was Fire Fam,I'm Talking Decent Vocab Structure And All10/10

Speats 11-18-04 07:34 AM

yah pretty amazing man too...perfect scoor too

Loveliss Grandz 11-18-04 09:15 AM

10/10..................beggining To End Was Gr8. Keep Em Comin'

Ysdat 11-18-04 05:42 PM

.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.
.^^^^.
.^^.

streetryda 11-18-04 06:31 PM

uppin this peeps thanks for all this feed lets get more comein.....

JJFLOWSUM_5 11-18-04 07:39 PM

Ey Dawg I Give U A 10/10 On Dat Shit...erthing U Did Was
Goog On Dis One..it Was Hott..holla

distilled 11-18-04 08:46 PM

This collab was nice, wouldnt give it a 10.

streetryda: First I seen from you, pretty dope, well structured and lyrically was nice, not too cmoplex, pretty plain and simple.

"fi-del": Fam, I seen bettter from you man, dunno what you did here, but you didnt seem on form, Also, I think it looks better when you spell it correctly, you know, and set out the structure, Lyrically this was nice, flow was good, Cos I read em like I imagine it in audio lol, yeh you had good flow, stuck on topic and follow'd it all through, for that it's dope, but the grammar and shit let's it down.
Keep it up Fam, I know you can do dope, 1.

Ysdat 11-18-04 10:36 PM

thnx for the feed fam..
Your correct I proberly should of taken more time on this.That way I coulda perfected it. But somtime's your on point somtime's your tired..

up

Master Minded 11-18-04 11:21 PM

StreetRyda this was nice, good flo and structure, fi-del was this was pretty good also, It sounded like lyrics to a song, I liked the idea of it, keep practicing you'll be dropping ten outa tens..... but for now..... 7.5/10

Ysdat 11-18-04 11:33 PM

yo thnx for the "real" feed on this.

streetryda 11-20-04 03:57 PM

yeh man tru on what fi-del said.....upin thanks for all the feed and lets see some more...and distilled you will see more from me soon enough :thumbup:

Kawn Flixx 11-20-04 11:12 PM

I'll give it an 8/10 good job fi del @ reppin the council

streetryder you killed this cuz

good job on both


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