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streetryda vs R-Rated
Battle Rules:
20-30 Lines No Crew Votes No Biting no shit votes Minimum posts to vote: 200 Check in by: 11-25-04 at 09:13 PM Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in. |
streetryda has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-24-04 09:15 PM.
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R-Rated has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-24-04 09:16 PM.
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topic : betrayal
ok here we go first time at a topical sitting be the park embarking on exploring each others skin... finish from starting to release my seed from ur mouth's brim... cringe at the fact i cant change the mistakes made in the past... at last ive found the girl in possesion of my world, love is vast... crafted me into the man i remain to be even after faults made... crave the love and tenderness of your touch, high class grade... pave the path for you to walk and bought you eveything you want... months gone by and its expected that ive been lettin you lunch... fronted and got me wantin my dick in your cunt and realize somthin... you refrained from taking the pill seen you pale and steadily munchin...* rushin you to the hospital cuz the time is almost due for our child... mildy nervous waitin but i grow impatient and im stationed a while... pedophiles of men sitting next to me and increasing my fears... hear the doctor calling me back, im emotionally strought, in tears... leer into your eyes and steer them towards our baby's beauty... truely a moment i wont forget because my love goes to fewly... move me with your words but you never knew i was a groupie... i have had my mistakes but it was way before we became mates... stating my past is another aspect of trust im just tryin to relate...* fake tries of lies are told by your eyes and tone that you speak... discretely showin anguish and manage to have the truth leaked... reddend my cheeks from tears of the only thing ive ever feared... steered off the path i once had paved and took and shifted gears... peer into my eyes and percieve the hate i have so get to steppin... lettin another man in our relationship.... .....................aint gettin played but you caused my armageddon... *pale from morning sickness(throwin up) *relate as in to narrate or tell |
[B](The Alarms Go Off) *"All Units Please Report To Platform B, This Is Not A Test"* The Mission Was To Jack A Diamond Secured By A Laser Percise Prism.. Unnoticed Fission As The Other Two Theifs Formed Into A Schism.. Penetrate The Infantry..Motives Like A Banshee Strapped With Artillery.. Bullets That Miss Me and Throw Up Debris At Any Angel and Degree.. Now In This Solo Like Ghost Recon With Socom Past and Beyond.. I'm Franticly Speakin Into My Transmitter but Theres No Respond.. I Turn Left Just To Be Welcomed By 20 of The US's Navy Seals.. One Flips Head Over Heals As The Others Pull All Weapons Concealed.. Quickly I Reveal..My Gold Plated 50 Caliber Hollow Tip Equipped.. With Stealth I Dipped Into The Crypt Covered With Arabic Script.. I Strap On The Night-Vision As This Crypt Goes Into A Division.. I Take Percision With Steps Then Look Back and Boom A Colision.. I Fall Forward and My Goggles Break..Get Up Covered In Dirt.. He Looks Familar..Wait Its One Of Those Thiefs Broken and Hurt.. I Put Him In The Cobra Clutch Speaking In A Form of Double Dutch.. He Spills His Guts Then I Snapped His Neck..Killing The Grudge.. Foot Steps Drawling Near So I Fear Then Run and Draw Clear.. Surronding From The Front and Rear Everywhere They Start and Appear.. I Pull Out This Sphere That Spins Mach Three Fast As Light Years.. The Galactic Pioneer With Intentions Sever To Make All Disappear.. I Hoist It Above My Head Watch Their Face Fall Dull With Dread.. As The Sphere Enters Phase 3 They Start Puncturing My Bod With Lead.. Far From Dead..The Energy Transforms Me As I See In Time Far Ahead.. The Surge Blasts The Cat Who Went Head Over Heals..Heals Over Head.. Boides Fly Through Space..Twisted In Fathoms You Couldn't Imagine.. I Start Blacking Out..Theres Too Much To Indure From Built Up Passion.. I Wake Up..In A 30 Foot Crater Filled With Blood From Roting Corpse.. I Look In The Sky The Whole Atmosphere Is Back and Twisting Like Warps.. To My Surprise The Diamond Layes 3 Feet Away Not Harmed From The Dismay.. Today Just Wasn't There Day All Along It Was Me Planning To Betray.. ~R~ |
Voted For: R-Rated
I think that R-Rated got this battle because i feel that R-Rated came stronger in the following categories...Topic i felt R-Rated got it was effective and was on point StreetRyda u shoulda been a bit more creative on this occasion rhyming i felt went to R-Rated good lookin wordplay and creativity goes to R-Rated and flow and structure i'll give to R-Rated. V/R-Rated There's my sig be sure to return the favour honestly Also...why were there 2 different topics?...i'm assuming this was the agreemant in which case R's was better |
Ignore the bit after my vote...it's jus the topic wasn't announced in the rules...i thought this was topical imrovisation
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uppin w/e idc this was my first topical and i am battling the best out there right now soo yeh i dont expect to win...im just tryin to elevate........lets get some more votes
peace~1 |
uppin come on ppl stop sleepin on this battle........lets get these votes polling in....
peace~1 |
Uppin This Shit.....
I Have To Keep Ramblin On Cause Of The Character Minimum.. Uppin This Shit..... ~R~ |
Voted For: R-Rated
r-rated got this one, he had much more detail and it was easy to understand. street u had a lot of god ideas, but your rhyming was kinda basic, u need to up your vocab. overall i think. just need to use more advanced vocab and ideas i think. street 6.5/10 r-rated 8/10 |
Voted For: R-Rated
ok street good story originality was not good thats been done sooooooooooooo much but good story and flow both had good vocab as well but r rated gave a better visiuale and a much better story here he needs to work on his syllable sount cuz that will never tranfer to wax in that form flow sucks but story is dope as fuck and very enjoyable while street you had a good story but it seemed as if i eard it before not that you bit just same things been done so much and that made r rated get my vote his vast superiour originality to your topical |
Voted For: R-Rated
this was actually a pretty dope battle... r-rated.. you came straight out the gate and killed your verse... everything was pretty good from the get-go.. tons of good wordplay , imagery was there... good flow.. decent structure.. overall your piece was dope 9/10 streetryda: your verse was also pretty good... decent flow.. some OK wordplay.. structure was better than R's and imagery was just as good.. there was more emotion in your verse but you didnt use it to your advantage.. youre a good topical writer though |
Thanks For The Feedback From All...
Uppin This Muphucka.. ~R~ |
Upping Dis Muphucka..
Only Needs One More Vote...Please Hit This Up. Will Return Favor ~R~ |
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