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SunSet In Heaven
SUNSET IN HEAVEN
Sand grip on my feet, traces of my prints are behind me. A smile across my face Side to side with my angel. The ring on her pinky is where I place, that i fully grace Still playing in my mind, when she said "Yes". I saw the tears flowing down her cheek As for me, I was shocked with electricity. Still was on my knees, couldn’t hardly speak The sunset blooms above us, nostril filled with the smell of the salty purified ocean Walking together. Our hands are locked with each others, showing our lovely devotion I looked into this beautiful angel eyes, she's the total package, like a sharp diamond Before I was a seed, but she came along. Nourish me. Broke the darkness I was bound in Leaning toward, trying to give her a kiss with much powerful lust i can give to drain A loud boom went past my ear. In front of me she laid. Love? No now in agony of pain A smile across his face while I'm sitting here feeling so nonsensical with anger He left me for that? Feeling so sad inside the other half of me for this stranger Tears starts to barked, and my fingers teeters as I hold the deadliest weapon I'm like an bad cupid the way I'm going to split this couple by doing this action The sun is still in effect as it patiently enters night. Open pores filled with sweat Saying to myself in my mind "You should've never neglected me". Prepare the regret Taking quiet deep breaths, carefully putting my finger on the weapon trigger Sighting him getting ready to kiss her. *Boom* she falls without a whimper I look on feeling no remorse in my veins nor my spine heck not even in my heart "If I can't have you No-One will". Now the the regret has been regretted .................................................. ..............................With her soul ripped apart Knees getting weak, stomach tightened hard. Losing my voice. I just can't believe Tears coursing on my cheeks, this must be a dream. Throat choked. Let it be a dream! Sitting in front of her feeling the warm blood as it wet's up my blue long pants I put my fingers on her pulse. She's good as dead. Feeling so hopeless bout to faint With an un-easy feeling, I slid off the ring from her cold lifeless, motionless pinky Watched it road the waves, like my heart and myself, I watched it sinking Me and her are now the same, Both not breathing nor our hearts are working Both are now top of the clouds with no life form, where no one can see us. Still kissing http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2312168 -LEAVE FEED WITH YOUR POEMS OR OPEN MICS LINKS I'll get Links tomorrow...Too Tired...Uh leave feed |
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Tha was like reading a novel,SHIT!
It was alotta over stretched lines,but at tha same time it felt like poetry...I read it twice ta catch it,but at the end it was nice..ur wordplay was nice,multi's coo... my fav line's are *Taking quiet deep breaths, carefully putting my finger on the weapon trigger Sighting him getting ready to kiss her. *Boom* she falls without a whimper *With an un-easy feeling, I slid off the ring from her cold lifeless, motionless pinky Watched it road the waves, like my heart and myself, I watched it sinking ^^those where detail'd^^ 8.1/10 structure was outta place a lil...Still nice. sorta wierd at times tho. return favor,thanx |
Thank you.........Will Leave feed...Chea..Uppin.
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no doubt you have a real nice ability to tell a story and this it what captures me and makes me wanna read your stuff....your creativity is good as well and you have a talent of coming complex with your vocab at times and using simple vocab when it is needed while still managing to keep your writing original and interesting.....keep it up....
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Uppo.............................................. .....
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im jus postin in here so that i remember to read it later lol, sounds good :)
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Alrighty..You better :mad: J/P.
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dope.
weres my battle? |
^^ O dont worry After my battle with HIgh Class we'll battle...
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ayo man no doubt homie man is ill nice story man was feelin it homie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!9/10 homie its just overstretched alot
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