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(topical) DON <VS> G-Ballz (topical)
aight topical battle
20-30 lines no cheating normal house rules topic:hero of september 11 verses due by 12 10 am eastern time which is an hour away aight good luck pc |
rollin to work...stopped in to rudys buy me some coffee...
a bang...loud crash this confusion had lost me... suddenly a women had her hands...pointed up to the sky... i peeped out the window...fallin people tryin to fly... was this a joke...that plane did not jus hit that building... i sprinted to the plaza...where i saw a corpse collapsed into a lil thing... blood was splattered about the outline of this women... brains entrailed cross the pavement like ketchup and puddin... a sick site at first but then the surge of adrenaline hit... dropped the cappachino "this cant be real o holy shit"... then more outcries raged through the crowds median... as men in masks started rushin in... wasnt thinkin and certainly didnt wana be a hero... entered the glass door looked up red sign "floor zero"... witnessed some steps up to my right... it was like a sale at a toy store...cause everyone jus began to fight... so me and this guy we rushed up to floor eleven... found a wheelchaired man holdin on to a boy musta been bout maybe 7... so this guy helped them down the stairs and i continued movin... looked straight ahead out the window and saw another fallin human... i rushed up maybe 30 floors cause i wasnt counting... i mean i couldnt even see the screams curses and all the shouting... stop quick grabbed the railing i heard a second noise of thunder... as i felt the ground shake like my world fell under... o shit wat was that cause flisht number 2 had already crashed... a loud crash then darkness the last of the lights had flashed... power was out and a freight train sound moved a little closer... i looke dup to floor 80 and my head span around like a climaxed coaster... the building swayed a crash sounded above me as the building got shifty... and the next thing i felt were the angles as they began to lift me... |
huh....when I agree to this I'm canadian this is gonna be hard then....
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o haah i didnt kno u were canadian it dont matter then write about 9/11 or any kinda disaster where a lot of ppl died
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but it was all over the news u kno jus as much about it as me and if u can rap u should be able to do it about anything and canadians kno a lot about 9/11 it was on their channels all day too my one friend was from canada
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went the New York City one day while visiting a relative for a while~
came to support her in a case for murder in front of the judge in a trial~ walking to the court room and look at a building and a plane came towards it~ I ran to the building too many lives to take away we couldn't afford it~ so I went to door people screaming in terror and tremendous fear~ women were stuck under collapsing floors so I risked my life to get em away~ because this type of shit like this doesn't every single fuckin' day~ after that I went to the floor it hit running fast my lungs collapsing~ I got there and I see terrorists it striked me fear I keep on relasping~ he be yelling out in some language I couldn't clearly make-out~ looked like he was about to shoot a innocent person so I tried to take him out~ he didn't see me so I tackled him gun dropped outta his hand~ out of nowhere 3 other terrorists come and to me they try to command~ I wouldn't listen & couldn't understand they jibberish language~ but I could read his mind he was thinkin' of doing some carnage~ a woman was staring in my eyes a gun she has in her grasp~ I told her to run! but she wouldn't let go of the gun still in her grasp~ she pulled the trigger trying to save my life at the cost of her own~ a terrorist shot her dead went through her sternum bone~ but of of them hard their guard down so I decided to attack~ still more people in the room so they should run I got their back~ so I grabbed the gun but he was too quick to fuckin' retaliate~ another one shot me in the chest but I guess it was just fate~ I fell on the ground looking around the room and no one else there~ thats the good part of dying if you safed lives death didn't give me a scare~ all of a sudden the entire building collapsed and the terrorists retreated~ one of them took they mask off had a smirk fuckin' conceited~ the building quickly fell down but I was happy with the way I died~ before I became deceased I was smiling and I actually cried~ my version^^^ changed a lil and I rarely watch the news but I knew 9/11 was a plane crashing into the world trade center at least.... |
aight not bad for putin ur own twist on it lets get some votes
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i dont really like topic battles...its pretty easy for topics to be made...but anyways here i go:
DON: u had good verbal vocabulary...i didnt really like your opener it was kinna simple and everything..ur metaphors was good though i like that in topical battles even though i hate um lol... C-Ballz: i like ur story a little more..its a little more creative and descriptive but i didnt like your metaphors as much as Don...thats why I gave you a big minus on the topic battle.. Vote- Don ------------- please hit up my current battle..we need votes....is a good battle 1 http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=132752 |
ok Orijinal I'll vote on that battle you obviously won it.......QB's gonna
think its a hate vote like always tho! :thumbup: |
yo don u my 4 sho but i can't vote ri now, as soon as i get 20 post i'll vote 4 u iigh?
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yo don u my 4 sho but i can't vote ri now, as soon as i get 20 post i'll vote 4 u iigh? and i have another battle 2 vote 4 so plz vote
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
This was a good battl.e But I thought Don was more complex.
Vote: DON Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
Quote:
unexplained dawg dont drop a vote if it ain't explained uppin..... |
g-ballz wats it matter i beat u anyway so hwy u bein a pussy and talkin bout explained votes he did explain it im jus better than u thats pretty much wat he said he prolly aint wana hurt ur feelins rats like u jus piss me off
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this was a good battle gballz u ma boy and don u ma boy but i gotta give this to don more complex and shit that's all i gotta say o yea will u guy's drop a vote on my battle wit sikkwitit i forgot to get tha link but it's one of tha first ones in front lines i need some people to vote cause he been gettin newb's to vote for him please drop a vote
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
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UPPIN.. just uppin this to the top for them
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UPPIN again... dont sleep on them ya'll..
leave links |
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i think don got this one he had better punches
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yo honestly dons version of this shit was just more real, i thnk he knew alot more about the hole 9 11 thing the the canadian did, also dons story sounded more realistic, the other dudes was like how he saved people and i highly doubt that happend, overall dons broke out...Vote=DON
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Don no doubt man..i'm from the city and my uncle died in 9/11..ur shit was real..good vocab and story line..hott flow and everything..gballz maybe it cuz you aint from the states you dont know its aight..but i can ralte to this..anyway you both did great..
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thanks for feedback people still uppin lets get this ova wit
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hmmmm...
close battle..... gballz beta vocab... don..i liked his imagery more... metas...more from don... multies/structure...equal... flow...both overall.....ifelt gballz had the better vocab..more complex rhyme scheme... but don gets my vote..simply because i jus liked his better..thought it had more imagery.... vote..don sumone pls return a vote on the link in ma sig.... |
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