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d.j em sce vs CriTiC
Battle Rulez:
10 - UNLIMITED Linez No Crew Votez No Recycling No Biting .:Topical Battle:. Topic Is,,.. Love For Another Person Good Luck PC Minimum posts to vote: 200 Check in by: 09-30-04 at 03:37 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
d.j em sce has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-27-04 03:39 PM.
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CriTiC has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-27-04 03:49 PM.
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aight i wrote this for my girl......i love you shea... As this new task called love arrives we sit and patiently wait As we rise to a new level we surpass sex , love, and hate As we recreate this thing called love, i realize my true position As i begin to doubt my love, you help me find my exact ambition As my heart dims you cliam we are more than just friends As these tears of hate trickle down my cheek we begin to transcend despite the fact we have our ups and downs, the result will saty the same i commit myself to our lve, i set ablaze this adoring flame see in your minds eyes a passion so great it makes your entire body quiver but everytime time we argue your words seep beneath my skin like a sliver our feel of affection for one another was previously insecure however, as we grew closer as a couple our love begins to mature As i contianed these thoughts that confuse and belittle my soul As these thoughts baffle my mentality you helped me gain control As soon as we touched lips i knew our hears would soon collide As this cllision occures my heart, body, and soul i strive to provide As our affection for each other begins to build, we set in motion to entwine As i momentarily look into our future i initiate to slip into time ...love is real... |
hurry up kid oyu is taking hella long..........j/k but for real hurry up
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My eyes captured by her beauty, my minds left to crave
Raved about your body, now I’m trapped as your slave You materialized before me, my soul existents is for you Show me the true meaning of love, you know it takes two Four months my advancements were deflected or sadly in vain You didn’t like the phone sex you said it wouldn’t be the same Finally information was leaked about her parents being away No way was I going to miss an opportunity it’s time for us to play Heart beating triple time as I reach to press the bell Yelled up to your window, Like I’m under your spell You opened the door with excitement, readiness on your face I can’t believe this is our moment, in your parents resting place The window began to condensate, as the passion started to spark I caressed her lips gently I’m now on a mission to leave my mark Just as we began to entwine I heard a key being placed in the door So we jumped out of bed swiftly & recovered clothes off the floor We entered he bedroom quietly and sat at opposite sides of the bed Read the television listings loudly,,.. if her dad finds out I’m dead Later on that night as I drifted off to sleep, she slowly moved off her bed She started to embrace me like she did before, readiness her face again read Our bodies entwined locked in the most passionate moment of our life To this day we still love each other, and a year ago she became my wife ~Married a year and two months now and we are still goin strong haha~ peace |
UP~InG Come on now honest votes please,,..
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aight i wrote this for my girl......i love you shea... As this new task called love arrives we sit and patiently wait As we rise to a new level we surpass sex , love, and hate As we recreate this thing called love, i realize my true position As i begin to doubt my love, you help me find my exact ambition As my heart dims you cliam we are more than just friends As these tears of hate trickle down my cheek we begin to transcend despite the fact we have our ups and downs, the result will saty the same i commit myself to our lve, i set ablaze this adoring flame see in your minds eyes a passion so great it makes your entire body quiver but everytime time we argue your words seep beneath my skin like a sliver our feel of affection for one another was previously insecure however, as we grew closer as a couple our love begins to mature As i contianed these thoughts that confuse and belittle my soul As these thoughts baffle my mentality you helped me gain control As soon as we touched lips i knew our hears would soon collide As this cllision occures my heart, body, and soul i strive to provide As our affection for each other begins to build, we set in motion to entwine As i momentarily look into our future i initiate to slip into time ...love is real... |
Voted For: d.j em sce
i chose d.j em sces verse because it not only appealed to me more than Critics, but it was just that much better...em sce wins this coz this wasnt just a battle, but something more...anyways... critic urs was aight...but it just didnt quite flow ya knoe...g'luck |
Alright no hate but I think that bullshit! plus your IP's match
so I going to send an E~mail to Strobe to check this shit out. |
we go to the same school...me phat mic,lyrical havok,big woody,and jackofalltrades
so we all have the same ips...same school server...sorry In the future, don't vote in each other's battle just in case.... |
uppin for votes.......c'mon where they at............................
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Come on Uping this.......................................
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uppin for votes............................................. .
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Voted For: d.j em sce
iight i dont like thwe topic cuz............how arent u sposed to be with someone else?....anywho... critic- good shit homie, i like the story but for me it kinda felt off topic and shit like u was talkin bout fuckin instead oif talkin bout ya love ya know? it was reall good other than that decent imagery and shit......7/10 dj- another hot drop kid. you stuck on topic, i loved it all and the only thing i wanna complain about is how almost every line started with "as"...that got realllllly annoying. other than that i feel that you beat crit, but it was close.....7.5/10 RTF....links in the sig homies. |
This was feedback posted for CriTiC
just checking on my crew member.....................
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Voted For: CriTiC
just readin the votes im in C.S good drop yall.. |
remove that
i didnt mean to vote................. |
Thanx for the feedback,.. 1-0 to d.j uping..
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upping for votes............................................. ..
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Voted For: d.j em sce
k creativty had way better vocab and a lil multis not realy but atleast he flowed also did critic nice battle for both of you guys Dj. em sce: <whats with this gay name creat go back to creativtie lol: k you clearly came harder man you had better wordplay and metas pretty much everything but not by far he was almost with you on all the shit eccept for vocabulary he had weak vocab Critic: k you cma epretty hard but yer storyline wasent on topic to great like creats was but you also need to get some vocab rollin in there i cant understand how vets cant do it its simple lol VOTE: dj, em sce return the favour in any of my battles links are in the sigs aight peace |
aight uppin for votes.......where they at.....c'mon man ....
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uppin for votes...where you at kid...why aint you uppin this......
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Up~Ing this shit come on now people wheres the votes,,..
Weekend d.j been busy like fuck. peace. |
uppin for votes.....damn kids hurry up and vote......
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uppin for votes............................................
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Voted For: d.j em sce
aiiiiiight em schee got this... both were pretty well structured verse, em schee took the vocab side of things... he seemed to be alot more focused on his rhymes an every bar was a meaningful one... decent drop em schee, keep em comin... critic, ya flow was aight, pretty decent vocab, ya had too many fillers, an sometimes the creatiity was missin... on the hole they we're both decent verses, enjoyable battle yall... keep em comin return the fave in sig p e a c e |
o lawd, i didnt know critic was in the council, my bad critic, but u did lose this battle, sorry pimp...
u fam n i respect u, so no hate, i just voted cause i'm bored lol |
This was feedback posted for d.j em sce
Just check'n the count. Good verses for both of ya. .
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It's kool fam,.
I will have u next time d,j |
maybe so.....once oyu elevate and im suffering from sever writers block........yes im that much btter
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upppiin for votes.............c'mon were they at./
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Really? I don't think you are,,.. I think someone needs to remove their head
from there own ass................... Also your verse was pre~witten so that shits debatable nuff said!!! Up~ing for more dick riders... |
LMAO Fucking uping this battle,,.. I want this shit closed.
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Sup,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,................. ...................Ing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.............. ....
1~ |
Voted For: d.j em sce
This was a really close topical battle and for one reason... both verses were well written..... d.j em sce your verse had so much depth and raw emotion.. your words alone captured your thoughts of love and it flowed smoothly... i think the structure could have been better but your vocabulary was great... imagery was also used just a little too much but overall you worked this topic to your ability... critic as soon as i started to read your first stanza i thought to myself he won this battle... everything flowed perfectly in that stanza and there was decent depth and good imagery.. BUT.. your verse lost its touch as it went on... it was kinda like you put less effort into it and just wrote anything basically.. i like how you put your verse into a story but i dont like how you did it like everyone else would have the plot is u played concept unlike dj's... your imagery got better but everything else dragged on and i kinda got bored with your verse... it didnt grab my attention much it was still a good verse but dj's emotion and depth got my vote ~!1!~ |
Thanks for the feedback flow,.. I want a rematch,,...
1~ |
This was feedback posted for CriTiC
nice, real deep!`
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This was feedback posted for d.j em sce
this was a very good topical!!
damn..dj emcee had a very good topical..one of the best i've seen..really! I could really feel the emotion on it wen i read it... and how u showed how u felt about the person u love..n didn't care about sex...that shows true love... Critic: yours was pretty good also.. but i just didn't feel ur emotion as much as dj's...you shoulda used more emotion... but its alrite..this was a close battle.. vote: dj |
Voted For: CriTiC
ok crtic better imagery and detain as well as structure and flow dj better vocab and also good but you failed to bring a good picture as critic did he had a better storyline and i could see his shit come about better .no hate just a honest vote critic for showing the topic better with imagery |
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