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-   -   .Murdz. vs Pen N' Paper (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198369)

BiZzO 07-05-05 09:13 PM

.Murdz. vs Pen N' Paper
 
Battle Rules:

20 - 40 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

~Topic : Life In The Ghetto~

Minimum posts to vote: 300

Check in by: 07-08-05 at 09:13 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

System 07-05-05 10:14 PM

.Murdz. has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-05-05 10:14 PM.

System 07-07-05 09:40 AM

Pen N' Paper has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-07-05 09:40 AM.

BiZzO 07-07-05 09:04 PM

3rd person
Walk through the projects-in-his-mind, allow his prospects-to-unwind,
He lives like suspects-on-the-grind, laying his concepts-on-his-nine
Always confuse-friends-for-foes, thinking their the same-or-equal,
Forced to abuse-his-trends-for-dough, patrons tell him flame-the-people
After savage assaults, he has no choice but to rest-in-the-mud,
His conscience poisons his heart, like the disease digesting-his-blood
To stimulate-his-aggression he infiltrates-his-depression,
Through the tunnels of injustice he navigates-his-profession
Can’t detect-his-fear, always expect-hes-near n protect-ya-gear,
With stolen denim and mama's money he still rejects-a-tear
See the criminal-distortion in a minimal-proportion,
One man that’s able to hold the subliminal-extortion
Picture a face-of-anxiety, Life has no space-for-variety,
This hoodrat searches many homes for a place-in-society
Suffered through the pen, left with his soul brutally swollen,
His methods do not fit life, like the clothes that he has stolen
Immune to the cold, No comfort as every days a new estate,
Scrambles, his life in shambles without food on a dinner plate

1st person

Knocking out innocent people all-manners-wrapped-and-misplaced
Mentality erupted with small-hammers-strapped-to-my-waist
Rocking a chain-which-isn't-mine, waiting for my brain-to-get-inline,
The devils got my soul, the lord put a stain-on-my-design
I'm constructed-out-of-sin, feels like I’m corrupted-by-my-kin,
Genetic traits from my father must have erupted-from-within
My ghat staggers-to-attack, Wonder how long the crimes-take,
Feels like daggers-in-my-back, Inserted for the dimes-sake
Since the day I was born, 20 years of tryin to keep warm,
There clothes feel like my organs, cause both of them feel torn
My words are harsh, my plots are deadly, but my ghats speaking louder,
With a 'crib' I don’t see 'bread', and cover myself in 'powder'
With worthless morals and ethics my mind lets me Endeavour,
America and the world should realize, crime rate last forever

Sixth Sense 07-08-05 07:53 AM


I’m living in the ghetto the worst place to live in nothing here will be seen
Straight cold blooded killers looking mean taking everyone’s dreams and green
They keep they weapons in they socks, pocket and pants and the knives folded
The bandanas to make you feel their gangster side gangs in their loyalty molded
And after another, this falls to another the concrete, the sidewalk whispers the phrase
Base heads stay in a daze, as we here we get treated like criminals or more like slaves
The upcoming in the ghetto is what we want is a fact, to reach out to the racists in blacks
Hood and ghetto life for all in tact, who know how to react, and keep the money stacked
All these gangsters acting all hard and shit to feel like they gangs need to be respected
This is just the beginning really… we cant see the future but we know what’s expected
The devil in drugs got a lot of people here dead but that’s how it came to be banished
We got to eat our sandwiches before we die of hunger and there’s nothing left and vanish
Sons dieing in the streets that’s how the ghetto is once the sounds of their mother
Falls out when they son died... and now there’s only one of the 5 sisters and brothers
As we look up to the skies and we feel the weather it isn’t snowing but the ghetto is white
Is it an illusion?... man we got to get it together, just to feel good so we can sleep tonight
They stay gripped wit they 44’s and the bullets deep impacted u can feel it’s hollowed
Starving here there’s no money they cant swallow so the drugs is where they followed
So everyday passes in the life of the ghetto tring to get out so as we look above to stars
We see gloves in cars, as soon as the moon falls like a cereal spoon it’ll be red like mars

PrahJect 07-08-05 09:48 AM

This was feedback posted for Pen N' Paper
 
polllzz...........................................

Sixth Sense 07-08-05 11:30 AM

...........up..................................... ..................

Sixth Sense 07-08-05 03:35 PM

uppin dammit vtes plz.............................

BiZzO 07-08-05 10:00 PM

uppin dizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz

Sixth Sense 07-09-05 03:38 PM

uppin this........upp.........upp...................

Sixth Sense 07-10-05 04:10 PM

uppin this..........for votes cmon

Sixth Sense 07-10-05 08:39 PM

uppin this........for votes cmon

Sixth Sense 07-11-05 08:42 AM

up.........uppin.......up........uppin............

Sixth Sense 07-11-05 02:01 PM

uppin this cmon close this down................... :huh:

Sixth Sense 07-12-05 09:02 AM

...........................up..................... ............

Sixth Sense 07-12-05 12:03 PM

uppin this cmon votes.............................

Sixth Sense 07-12-05 04:26 PM

wow when will this get more votes cmon upppin this shit..........

Sixth Sense 07-12-05 09:57 PM

wow can sum1 plz vote cmon it aint difficult to vote cmon now.......

Sixth Sense 07-13-05 07:43 AM

good battle here upppin this for votes................

Dervla 07-13-05 09:04 AM

Voted For: Pen N' Paper

Murdz- OOOO Not bad. I liked the imagery, good vocab. Next time you battle dont a;gkljagl-gjgdl;kj<<< That. Please? It's messing up the reader eyes (me). I say Upp on the emotion, put some meta'z and similies in it. But The best aspect in your verse was the imagery, and the vocab. Liking the flow on 3rd person, good multi'z

Pen&Paper- Hmmm Emotion is kinda lacked in few places, needs to be upp. Vocab needs to be upp. I liked the imagery, an d the wordplays toward the end was good, it kinda expand your imagery. You had a little bit of emotion, next time expand it.

Overall=Both of you lacked emotion, but both of you had good imagery. Murdz Nice, I liked your approach, could've been better. The Imagery was good, the emotion lacked. Pen and Paper, I liekd your approach also, You had good vivid imagery and emotion (A little) and that's why I'm giving you the vote. Murdz Nice verse but emotion lacked and pen and paper had that and plus his imagery was better. So vote/Pen and Paper.

Return favor by Honest voting in my battle Against drakel

Sixth Sense 07-13-05 03:03 PM

Wait that needs to be changed then thats my vote^^ ill get that changed then cuz the 2nd one is mine......lol......so ill get that removed to my vote.......1

BiZzO 07-14-05 03:26 AM

WTF, chief has done that 2 times now!! he said that exact explination in a battle, not even topical of mine and voted against me!!! this is fuckin bullshit...

Sixth Sense 07-14-05 07:44 AM

i kno man he did that to me too.....in cezar battle but anyways .........

Sixth Sense 07-14-05 11:06 AM

upppin.........this cmon more votes here please.......

Sixth Sense 07-14-05 03:04 PM

upppppppppppinnnnnnnnnnnnn........................

Sixth Sense 07-15-05 04:34 PM

cmon more votes plz close this.....lol uppin for votes......

Sixth Sense 07-16-05 12:52 AM

..............up.................................. .

Sixth Sense 07-16-05 03:13 PM

up these........lets get votes........cmon now votes

Sixth Sense 07-16-05 07:51 PM

uppin like always.....................

Sixth Sense 07-17-05 04:47 PM

vote plz yall cmon now and vote...................

Sixth Sense 07-17-05 08:56 PM

up................up..................up..........

Sixth Sense 07-18-05 07:50 AM

up...........up............up.....................

Sixth Sense 07-18-05 01:34 PM

can sum1 vote plz.........damn............

Sixth Sense 07-18-05 08:22 PM

cmon vote now cmon dont be shy......lol..............

IXX 9 Tenths XXI 07-18-05 09:16 PM

This was feedback posted for Pen N' Paper
 
damn murdz came tight, tight battle guys. if i could vote i would but just showin some love. keep elevatin n its all good. good multis all deep stories

Sixth Sense 07-19-05 08:47 AM

up.....this cmon just vote cmon vote vote vote..........

lyrical mage 07-19-05 10:39 AM

This was feedback posted for Pen N' Paper
 
..................................................

Sixth Sense 07-19-05 05:01 PM

uppin this lets go.........cmon uppp up.............

Sixth Sense 07-20-05 09:18 AM

hello anyone votes here???????????????????????????

Sixth Sense 07-20-05 12:19 PM

vote on battle cmon now stop sleepin now wake the fuck up......lol


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