Rate this Punchline
 

sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. some faggot named Gongshow voted on my battle saying this line made no sense. i wanna hear the opinons of some real hip hop heads.

this cock raps without punchlines like slapboxing roosters

let me know what ya think

I dont get it, but i can see how it would make sense.

I get it. What's the set up line though?

ya can follow the link in my sig and check it out, and this aint a thread meant to ask you to vote, but i would appreciate it if ya did while you were there. but back to this line. i never though i would have had to explain this to anyone, but im doing just incase

this cock raps without punchlines like slapboxing roosters
a cock is another word for a rooster
in slapboxing, you dont punch, so there arnt "punch" lines
so a slapboxing rooster wouldnt have punchlines

seems like a strech armstrong-sizes reach IMO. Just forced the hell out of it IMO

makes sense...but i feel like not clicking the link

im sorry, but i dont get what your saying. what do you mean its streched? it flows with the verse, unless you mean somethin diff.

yea i get it its hot

thank you. oh yeah, just to make this fun, if ya feel like it and you think its a good punchline, pm Gongshow and let him know lol.

ight fo real u want me to do it

It's played anyways..

if ya want to lol. i cant belive that nigga didnt get it! i think that he would feel real stupid if he realized he dont dont know shit about rap

what?!?! whatever, i asked for critisim, im getting it. but i made that shit up off the top. thank ya for the input

I didn't say it was stretched, I said it was a Stretch Armstrong-sized 'reach'. You forced it. You forced that square peg into the round hole that was that line. It jsut didn't fit together and I can't see how anyone woudl think it's "hot". Especially if you gotta explain it. The lines and content should explain themselves or else you didn't build the line properly.

Here's some reasons why:

"this cock raps without punchlines like slapboxing roosters"

First up, roosters don't throw punches - so you coulda easily flipped the line to

"This cock packs less punches than two fighting roosters".

That line is more usable since it's already know that roosters don't throw punches - so why mention slap boxing? They already exist in the form that you want them to in order for that lien to work. Also, you said "punchlines". You lose it even more when you put that 'line' suffix on 'punch". Just make the meta (which you turned into a similie that I turned BACK into a meta) far more vivid because the words lock perfectly. You bastardized it fomr wordplay to a regular-ass similie.


That's why it was a long-ass reach.

i get it, it was wack tho...
wow, dooms explained the whole thing and how it could be better... dooms the rap teacher. LMAO

thanks for the explanation. it was really an off the top line, so i didnt consider all that. punchline is just a more prominent word to me i guess. the more i think about it though, punch could be used to mean power , such as in "that coffee packs alot of punch", and in that case 2 fightring roosters do pack punch. plus, i didnt say it was hot. i like it, but i dont rate my own stuff like that. thanks again for your opinion

and like i said before, i really didnt think i would have to explain that

makes sense, but that shit is butt.

could you explain that please? id appreciate it...

Now rate this.

cause all your raps are murdered like they never had life in em//
your rappin fucced up like i spiked your mic wit vicatin//
what a site it is seeing you question my credibility//
the city i rep makes florida a jelly bean//
your profusly stupid without a taste in music//
this cock raps without punchlines like slapboxing roosters

yup, and i stand behind that shit 100%
eat a dick if you dont like it

I am right now.

well, no suprises there

you've won the grand prize!

....*opens door #1*

*:shoot:*

what???????????

That-Shit-Was-Corny.

proly better than yours

why would you say slapboxing?

that is just EXtremeLEEEEEEEE fuckin gay.

and why would you be referring to someone as a 'cock' anyways.....also sounds over-the-top homosexual

so overall vote:

*leaves thread forever*

wow, so this is why everyone else makes fun of rv....
well, im glad i atleat got some intelligent opinons early in this thread
so lets add a little side question:
why are some people in this world so fuccin socially inept that when someone in life gives them the oppertunity to voice thier oppinion on a relavent topic they go all "wanna-be superior" on you?

A: yes, this is why RV is the toiler of rap boards.
B: they go all 'wanna-be superior" because they have no actual power over their real life, so they want power of your net life. Specially here on RV.

its a lot simple like my punches, i'd say 6/10 its affective but it depends if you got a personal for the first line

I get it but its an old concept.

its awfull.... forced as fuck dooms put it best to u.. dont force lines just put em blunt n straight to da point it works more effectively

thanks again people. i realize its not the best punchline ever, but i knew it made sense. thats why i got so frustrated when that Gongshow person voted against me because he said that line made no sense, along with the rest of my verse. he actually suggested for me to start this thread... thanks agian people

yea man u made sense but like it didnt rhyme thats all........it was good

it wasnt an exact rhyme, but it had that strong vowel sound to go with music.
yeah, you right, it dont really rhyme lol. but thats what happens with off the tops sometimes.

yea i unda stand yea thats tru and yo do u want that battle to be 3-0 k.o. or do u want to go all 5 dammit.....lol

all 5, cause i never heard of that 3-0 thing. plus i gotta feeling that aint no one gonna vote on mine till the end, cause thats how its looking

i think its wack?!?!?

of course u havent hurr it u a :noob: