kgm you've got this thread man.
I'm going to make something up, like funniest member or something like that, or something along those lines. Along with other "winners" of certain categories, just for the sake of it. Damn kid, that one about the Men And Women Showering, that had me cracking up, I'm sitting in school reading that and laughing my ass off...Fucker, you almost got me caught. LoL, Keep 'em up man.

Thanks Bruk, I'm glad you like.

Physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know, in West Virginia, we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the
Hokey Pokey..."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there

A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs. He came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. He asked her, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain why later."
The nun agreed to his request. Shortly thereafter, the two MPs came running along and asked her if she had seen a soldier running down the road.
She replied, "He went that way".
After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq."
The nun said she understood. The GI said, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have the most beautiful pair of legs I've ever seen!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen the most beautiful pair of balls you've ever seen! I don't want to go to Iraq either!"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
LMFAO! ...LoL @ Ass Off also

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
HAHAHA, Oh Shit, Literally!

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
Oh Fuck! HaHaHaHa! Oh Shit, I'm gonna split my sphincter.

6. "You know, in West Virginia, we're now legally married."
HaHaHaHaHa!

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."
Oh Fuck! That Is CLASSIC!

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
Oh Shit! Thats Gold! HaHaHaHa

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
Oh So True! HaHaHa

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there
Oh Yes!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING AYE!

SCRABBLE ?

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

And our the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using eachletter only once):

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

TOP 10 WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE HIS ZIPPER IS UNZIPPED

10. The cucumber has left the salad.

9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

7. Paging Mr. Johnson...Paging Mr. Johnson.

6. Elvis has left the building.

5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage

4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.

3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2. Men may be From Mars but I can see something that rhymes with Venus

And the #1 Way to tell someone their zipper is unzipped .....

1. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."

LOL... fuck kgm... this is my thread.

^^best joke ive read so far in this thread. Lol that was funny as hell.

yo for real, I'm still chucklin at the shit
desperation/a rope ends it... funny shit dawg
ANyone hit this battle with a fair vote for me plz
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=78369
People come too serious and it's nice to have a laugh once in a while... keep em coming
Peace
one love

LOL. That is some funny shit. To copulate he finds interns. Aaahhh, you got me cracking up.

Okay so I guy walks into the bar and sees a hot blonde. He says lets get drunk so we can loosen up a lil bit.
She says "Sorry but last time I drunk alcohol I got drunk and blew chunks at home.

The guy, trying to get her drunk says "It's okay, I'll hold your hair back when you start to puke..." to which the blonde replies

What the fuck are you talking about? Chunks is my dog.

HaHaHaHaHaHa, pretty good. kgm still owns.

How Many People Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb...?!?




1

(Freepost Gone Wrong :()

^HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Golden!

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the
window, "I want to open a damn checking account."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must
have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damnit. I said I want to open a damn checking account
now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated
in this bank."

The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to
inform him of her situation. They both return and the manager
asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man says, "I just won 50 million
bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking
account in this damn bank, okay?"

"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard
time?"