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Alright will work on the font... dont understand the size thing though cause of umm all i did was have it illtalicized... but yeah the bottom part of the poem in grey wasnt really supposed to be part of that piece at all i was writing a poem at the same time and just decided it would be good to throw in.. so look out for those lines to be in a different verse of mine in the PS forum
As for everyone that has left feed.. thank you very much its always much appricaiated and for the ones that criticized me... thanks will work on that... and am a poet not a topical or OM writer |
Wordz Ahgod-Your verse was decent but basic shit. . and when i say basic i mean the ryme scheme, the flow,the vocab not much creativity. You where definatley on topic and you got your point across..very simply put...Overall it was an okay drop a 6/10
Lampejo- Very nice creativity in the flow, not hinderd at all, i liked your vocabulary too much better than words (sry words) ...Your topical flow was very intune ..and i can imagine in pictures what you where saying as i read on. kinda one sided for now not bad keep droppin...dope verse....8.5/10 vote: Lampejo. |
C'mon Ys' its been well over a week now since these have been upl;... close them and put the new ones up already.
Wordness |
Wordz,u gave a lil effort here..but im not thinkin topicals is ya thing
u had more of a simple elementary verse here.. Lampe.no need 4 me 2 really explain..u took this battle in every area no need for an explanation..u sweeped this nice v/Lamp |
Wordz-This was an ok verse, not a advance one but simple. It wasn't really putting out anything, except the storyline was very..itchy to me. You did have emotion, I don't know why people don't see it, but its there and its very much showing through the character the way you've described. The Imaginary wasn't very much detailed, I guess thats why people don't really like your verse, its not..entertaining, its dull/bored no real adjectives or detailing through your words. The complexity isn't here and you don't really need any complex to have a decent Topical verse, or abstract really, cause Topical is based on narrator and how you approach the topic, define the Topic. Anyway's..here are some pointers, you need to put in some metaphors, similies..matter of fact, let me put it this way..Alot of people think a Topical is based on approaching the topic in a 'story' way. Words your an audio head, fuck writing stories, write a song. Overall Ok verse, keep it up.
Lampejo-*sigh*. I don't want to explain cause everyone did. Lol. Good verse V/Lampejo |
Thanks Lola...lol
but would some one close this shit already? Its like 0 - 1000 already peace...get me out of this slaughter fam...) : |
Lampejo advances to second round
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