Voted For: Ysdat

Ok, Both of these seemed fairly rushed, neither very good.

Ysdat had a better concept, more imagery and a nice twist in the end. I didnt care for the bad grammar, no spelling. Lack of punctuation that made it come across, rushed. Good flow, loved the twist at the end. Nice show of emotion.

Dopium's structure was fucked, but that doesnt really matter. you had nice flow, lacked the imagery ysdat's piece held. Your concept wasnt as imaginitive as his was, and in my book that wins topicals. Nice use of vocab, a few parts you fell off.

^Yea that is true I've never done a topical before. But im 10x better at a real battle but to bad ima be banned so that way I can't prove myself so Ight Everyone Stay up And Go Fuck yourselfs. :)

Thanks metals, your right. I rushed the entire peice. wasnt really worth my effort.

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This was feedback posted for Ysdat
 

haha easy :)
got this no doubt....keep herb killin fam

Voted For: Ysdat

i vote ysdat even though he took me off the wall of fame...his verse was clearly better...you used the word loom a couple to many times..reminds me of fruit of the loom underwear...and you forced some multis..but a good story...and good twist..i didn't see it coming

didnt even relise I did. Ill add you back.

up .

This was feedback posted for Ysdat
 

Checking.......................................... .

This was feedback posted for Ysdat
 

checkin the polls...stupid 50 characters...for goddamn feedback

TC NIKKAH WHAT??!!

Voted For: Ysdat

Ysdat
good peice.I esspecially liked the multis in there,that's what I liked most.The idea was good,description and everything ,w/e..was ite..

My only advice would be to cut back on vocab,it makes ya shit sound awkward..Like,for instance

vacating my room, rapid run like satan will loom, I reach the top of the stair

^I understand the satin will loom,vacating my room internal..but c'mon.Rapid run?That part sounded bad.Pissed me off to be honest! :mad:..LoL.

Dopium

Unlike Ysdat,you didn't have any multis.U had a basic rhyme scheme..and your lines were long.Stretched lines pisses me like nothing else -_-.
The idea and everything was ok.Nothing creative...meh..you lost...

Vote-Ysdat

Ysdat,PLEASE drop an honest vote in the link below...
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=213623

Voted For: Ysdat

ok
dopium
flow was bad in spots realllllllllllllly long lines lol
structure would have looked better centered with smaller lines
creativity was loooooooow nothing was creative in this most creative line was santas demise ur last night besides that u didnt go in depth at all everything was predictable
overall jsut about every part needed elevation stick to writing poems maybe you need to be creative

ysdat
flwo was off in a few spots a few stretched lines but alot of them i could flow to a beat lol
structure i liked that u centered it i liek ur lines not being as stretched as dopiums
lyriccs were creative i liked the prayers alot of multis loved is vocab was pretty good not overdone the ending with his mom was kind of predictable but u took a creative side with this i was like yea hes going to find a shit load of presents and he didnt lol i was like wtf you not only told about a childs dissapointment you told about his faith and his poverty props cool shit
easy win for ysdat his creativity won me over