Derive.. you're up to 7 ups now. Up again and I'll have to DQ you.

Anyways,

This was a good battle I thought. I thought Derives verse was dope.... but way too basic. Flow was too basic. Auspicious came with it all. He basically took this in every category. Nice flow for Auspicious. Twas a nice overall verse.. Although I've seen better from you. Derive.. First time I've seen your topical.. but you definetly have potential. Keep it up.

V/Auspicious

didnt notice....sorry tok, just that no one ever votes = /.

word i gotta go with auspicicous also because his flow and word usage was directly on point...it gave me a good picture in my head and was more creative...very good from both but thats just my opinion

favorite lines from each.....

he opened up to me.. told me what he was feeling
Told me what he was s'pose to be.. n' things he found appealing
He didn't want to stay.. in the family he'd fail to be..
though the clouds are gray.. they stay co-ensigned w/ reality

^^this was very good its simple but its very creative

She stepped up to me and told me that i had just crushed her heart,
because she wanted to be treaty like everyone else, not like someone apart.

^^^that was nice

vote auspicious (had to edit to put this in)

Aus...I enjoyed reading your piece...structure seemed to stay on target as well as your overall topic ideal....your ending wa heart felt as well as the overall meaning....enjoyed the piece congrats

Derive:Decent piece just seemed liked you went with the easiest way to get a rhyming sentence out....there was one small thing i noticed that you should maybe change in the future

I was off for a mourning walk when i was confronted with a stranger across the street,
She looked awfully tired and was struggling hard to get on her feet.
I hurried across the street and quickly helped this lady stand,

instead of "I hurried across the street and quickly helped this lady stand" You should have put "i hurried across and quicly helped her stand"

not too bad but not worthy of a win

Vote aus

Aside from the fact Aus spelt the word sympathy wrong, he got this.

Derive your story was really nice, but the flow was very choppy at times, and I even got lost in the story line. Aus, your verse flowed amazing and it made me cry (not really). It was very touching, and the imagery was much better than Derives, you're very good at painting a picture. I liked the structure better as well, the short lines made it sound good off my tounge.

Nice topical battle, but Aus comes out on top here. :thumbup: