Vote Savage
flow was gud
punchlines great so....

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Axiom

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Token

uppin for votes.....................................wake ya ass up

uppin still for votes....people will you please wake ya ass up damn

Yea bro it was a good battle all round!!!
keep ripping
and nah im sure that aint 10-16 lines!

___________________________
Vote on my first battle:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...222#post1155222

this is a vote for me right here...last time i saw this thread before the MODs changed shit the score on the poll was 1-1 now its 1-0...wuts up with that can some one please explain???

uppin............................................s top sleepin..............................

Young Savage
A 20 minute time limit can't stop the flow, i'm a show stopper, you just "Stop The Show"/
You the type of kat to freeze up like "Water" i'll put you in my "Time Piece"(Watch) see it "Glow"/
-streched,metiphore = 3
This guy sucks so bad he wants to "Kiss Me" just so we can "Change Spits"/
Mixed "Potassium" and "Guns" together and feed u "Banana Clips"/
wordplay,punch,vocab,-fruity = 6
Rhyme in suspension "Ima Kill You Witness" my "Key-Phrase"/
Ill have ya “Heart” Pumpin “Less Beats” then a “Armless D.J.”/
metiphore,wordplay = 6
"Brush" The "Fuss" Off Like "Dust", Then "Adjust” Muh “Clutch" To ''Crush-Blak'' Wit Muh ''Flush-Touch''/
Dude’s Actin “Tough”, But Only “Cums Rough” When He’s In A “Rush” To ‘Bust-Butts’/
mutli,punch,-confusion,-streched = 5
But Young Savage’s “Stuffed” Wit A ‘Robust-Crust’(Thick Skin) “Cuffed” Wit Enough “Thrusts” To "Combust-Guts" & Leave This ‘Slut-Hushed’/
multi,-vocab,-confusion = 4
Use multiple “Method’s” to hit this “MAN” and leave him ~fucked where he stands~/
Axe in my palm, I’ll took both your legs with a ~swing of my hand~/
multi,-wordplay = 5
Only gotta “give 50%” in this battle cause now you are only ~half of a man~/
Make Ya "Guard Your Nightmares" To "Secure-Ya-Dreams"..'Top 25 Of All Time'?..I'll "Assure-You-Ur-Unseen"/
I'll fukin Cure-Ya-Scenes.. Cuz The Board Already "Takes Blak" For Granted Like "Mature-Pre-Teens"/
-structure,-stretched,metiphore = 5

OK i guess, nothing I really would wanna right home about. You really did over do the multi's makin this quit a confusing and boring verse. I would say you should work on cuttin your lines down and simplicity, no punches really present either. Work on that...
Overall = 29
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Black Woods
what you like to write about,we can fight it out,
catch a punchline right in da mouth,
punch = 6
from da south, but more like a bitch in da hood,
i leave you stranded in a dark forest nigga, you lost in blak woods,
personal = 4
you gone find out why you shoulden't test niggaz you hearda,
you a herb mc, wonderin why you be gettin murdered,
punch = 4
you a lil faka copyin and pastin lyrics from friendz,
i like to shit on cats like you, you win, that depens,---(adult dipers)
personal,-confusion = 3
you wouldn't bust a good verse if you read from the bible,
it'll neva happen, nigga i'm liable,
-structure,metiphore,-played = 3
ta merk you then go afta somebody betta,
fuck line fa line, i kill you letta fa letta,
filler = 2
fuck this lil battle you get beat to bad,
young savage, more like a old puzz on da rag...
metiphore,punch = 3

Had the right idea initially, but you lacked alot of content. Simple is good but there's a difference between simple an basic and you were basic. You need to work on your punches. Work on that.
Overall = 22
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Vote = Young Savage

uppin..........again......can we please finish this

Young Savage takes this one...

Blak Woods was just too simple...

No wordplay to speak of...

And ya didn't type much, too short considering the length of his.

Now, if ya'd used wordplay effectively...

Ya wouldn't have needed to bring more.

Cuz Savage is gonna learn...

When ya try and overdose the reader on wordplay...
(like he did)

Someone with subtle and slight wordplay...

Will come in and clown that herbish display he threw.

For instance...

I see multi's and flow, lots of punctuation...but no dissin...
His rhyme must be dying, since it's on a life support system.

See?

But this time, Savage wins...

Peace

Holla back with ya vote!!!

aight thanxs for the tips fam.....but uppin can we please finish this battle

uppin..........can you kats wake up please i'm tryna finish this..............come on

Your dq'd U uped your battle to many times^....!
.............