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-   -   Atticus Vs SnypeR (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=116332)

SnypeR 03-13-04 03:06 PM

uppin^^^^^^....................................... ...............

SnypeR 03-14-04 11:21 AM

uppin............................................. ...................

SnypeR 03-14-04 03:20 PM

uppin............................................. .

yte grl 03-14-04 04:25 PM

snyper good flow good punches work on vocab nad personals
atticus ok flow ok punches i guess u need to work on vocab personals structure basically alo
snyper took this easy

Issachar 03-15-04 03:49 PM

It's obvious snyper won this, and it should be obvious *why* he won, so instead of wasting time explaining that, I'ma give a short critique of Atticus' verse for his benefit.

"My name is greek" -- Irrelevant, since you didn't spin this into any kind of wordplay.
"atticus brings snyper the grief" -- Filler. Leave it out unless you need it for a complex rhyme scheme.
"market PDI saw the disease / So how could snype possibly handle THIS BEEF?" -- Okay, here's one concept you turned into a punchline. It'd be tighter if you reworded it though.
"I'm snipe'n snyper from 90 thoughts up" -- A personal, which is good, and a metaphor "90 thoughts up" which is also pretty good.
"Not on my level cuz U lower than 'dirty pots' / and I'm higher than 'shiney cups' / talkin shit in ghetto / better leg it out my 'grimey cuts' " -- Strange references that I didn't really get, unless dirty pots are toilet bowls and shiny cups are trophies or something like that. You seem to have a concept in mind but aren't expressing it too clearly. Also I don't get your slang like "grimey cuts", but that could be my fault.
"Mellow head better frollic back 2 his meadow " -- The idea is okay, but even using words like "frolic" and "meadow" seems to soften the feel of your battle verse. This would work better if you'd just thrown a really hard punch and *shown* that your opponent is soft enough to earn those descriptive words.
"Im surrounded by demons " -- Just fodder for the comeback, which Snyper didn't even need to use.
"Snype the only thing u shootin is leakin super soakers / wit ya man super soldiers semen" -- Another personal; the first line was alright but the second one sounded awkward (does Snype have a crewmate called "super soldier"?).
"told his girl snype like skeet skirt " -- Another slang ref I didn't get.
"but the bitch don't believe it / so in ya hands my erect dick I'mma leave it " -- Doesn't make enough sense to come off as hard as you intended.

Okay, hope that was helpful. Vote = snyper, if I didn't already make that obvious.

$$UPREME 03-15-04 04:05 PM

Check, kid it's on! I'ma rip apart your ass like a shard of glass/
Beat Snyper? Nah cause like 'kidney stones', I'm 'hard to pass'/
I kill em' all thats why no emcee can stand me/
listen son, "masterbation" is the only way you'd "Cum in Handy"/
My brutal bars are blessings, so I'ma charge for lessons/
With your lost direction, you couldn't..../
'Think' of 'shit' if I 'connected your brain' to ya 'large intestines'/
What's the odds? Fuck guessing, a win, Atticus is barly testing/
The truth? Atticus takes more 'Buck' shots then 'Gary Payton'/
Let's go! No more wasting time, this is my very last threat cus...../
Like siamese twins in a womb, ya don't know the "half" yet/
I got some fan letters from the dark sense today, so I'ma begin to read these.../
SNYPER IS A NUT
"crack the whip" and leave lashes like "Indiana Jones" im breakin bones son you couldnt "rock a crowd" if you "hit em wit stones"/

luminaz 03-15-04 04:51 PM

Snyper has it
 
This 1 goes to sniper, wat the the hell sort of first line did atticus post

SnypeR 03-15-04 07:22 PM

uppin............................................. ................

Crossword 03-15-04 07:25 PM

Woah... No contest. Like ya said atticus, you verse is sorry. Snyper took this in every category. Nothing really to say except elevate atticus

V/ SnypeR


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