thanks.....I appreciate all the feedback ya'll posted much love.....

this is a good piece, you did have a lot of emotion, and it told a story as well, the words were like images, nice shit man, good job.. and keep it up

thanks for the positive feedback much appreciation...................................

ya most def homz,ya painted a picture with ya words,i also liked how ya dint use a crappy vocab,tight ,mad props keep writin from the heart....im reppin canada,nice ta see ya mention that...........

Hah, I guess it's because I'm white and I live in a predominately white area that I don't really feel it. I thought it could've been a lot better. The rhymes and lines seemed kinda childish.

"Mr. Mandela, Ms. Parks both overcame the hate in they lives~
pain, anger and other things pile up in my brain's archives~"

I saw what you were going for here, but it still seemed like a sacrificial rhyme. Write some more, elevate some, and I think you'll be good.

sorry if I offended you I was basing it off the past but I wasn't
trying to hate or anything ya know>>?

Nah, you didn't offend me. It takes a lot to offend me. :P

uppin for my work to be seen.............................................. ..........

Wow Mayn...
Thats One That Touches The Heart...
Great Concept, Content...
Sounded ALITTLE To Much Like A Rhym...
Thats My Only Critisism...
But Thats A Strech, Cuz It Really Was Just About Perfect...
Real Nice Drop, 9/10 (Just Cuz I Dont Give 10's)...
~One~

fuckin' smile sleepers^^^^^I could become poet of july :thumbup:

uppin sleepers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I responded to this a while ago-- either way, this was a decent drop you used pretty good imagery here.

uppin 4 feedback.......................................... ...................

one i aint know you was a bitch.......well i knew you was a bitch but not a female :laugh: your poem is ok for a sucka .the only black kid in a all white school?!!!they aint suppose to be disrespecting you they suppose to be scared to death of you.damn you softer then i thought :laugh: