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-   -   Al Capone vs disciple05 (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=153410)

Red Stroke 10-08-04 09:19 PM

uppin on some votes but real votes if you aint leavin shit then get outta here

Mistic-Rogue 10-08-04 09:36 PM

Voted For: disciple05

vote to disciple05, i liked your verse kid, not bad, just one tip, get rid of the "" * and the spaces between your lines, we dont need help finding where your punches are ok so DONT use them!

punches go to disciple05
you had nice punches which were thoguth up well, good word play and metas, g speedm your punches werent bad but a bit basic, make them more coplex and use more exstensive wordplay

flow goes to disciple05
you had good flow, it was consistant and your verse was structured well, good battle

RETURN THE VOTE, and vote on one of the baaltes below

Compose 10-08-04 09:37 PM

Voted For: disciple05

ok

basically lyrical disciple got this cuz of punches,G_speed weak punches man, elevate a lot more, they just werent toward lyrical and didnt hit, lyrical had some descent ones no hate on nobody but lyrical had better punches here and more creative

good luck peace

Mistic-Rogue 10-08-04 09:37 PM

ps,..... g speed, you need to exstend your vocab and make your punches more funny ok!

G_$peed 10-08-04 10:00 PM

funny why funny itz never funny for me...

Red Stroke 10-09-04 01:52 AM

uppin for votes yall get at this thing hommie yo/////

JackOfAllTradez 10-09-04 05:14 AM

Voted For: disciple05

emcee: G_Speed

Verse:
you a faggot ass bitch cuz you a little bro of a cheater...
lets see you win bitch you'll never be good u gay leader...
ppl forgot about you so when i ask they say support who...
you suck which is why you fuckin mom wanted to abort you...
you wont win one single battle so bitch getta fuckin clue...
yeah i win and suck at the same time bitch wutch you gon do...
you think you bad cuz of ur gay ass faggot name disciple...
haha you still suck bitch faggot dont be late for your ballet risidle...
i'm done wit dis losing dirt in face clown...
guess wut bitch i jus took you down...

comments....kid elevate you need to think of ENGLISH THINGS...such as metaphors....

45/100
45%

emcee:Lyrical Disciple

verse:
this dude wanna be Al Capone yet he so "religious"
i come unsespected at yo door like "jahova witness"

how you gone be Al Capone when you dont drink??
dawg quit rhymin cuzz your worst then nsync

my flows "untouchable" you cant see this
this clown is a fake pryin to JESUS

you pop ya mouth off while im poppin bottles
my lyrics drop ya jaws like you saw hott moddels

im tha lyrical discipe tha lyrical pshyco
ill "burn" up ya head with my "burner" like "michael"

you claim to be part of tha mob with tha name "Al Capone"
ill treat you like a "slob" and leave you "bloody" when i pull my chrome then like "monica" youll be "so gone"

i got lyrics that will "check" you like "nike"
i got a better flow then you that why you diss-like me

ill leave you red("read") all over like a newspaper
"shock" you with me rhymes like a "tazer"

its funny now you Al Capone but before you was ruff tuff thug
cuzz now you suck more and my guns will leave you "spread" out like a fold out "rug"

this dude cant see me nigga im from tha "wild wild west"
he wanna be Al Capone so imma put him away like ELIOT NESS..............WHAAAAA

Comments: well you need to elevate on yo structure mayne...other then that your fine...for now...but when you start battlin other people then you have to work on your metas and vocab.

marks...
51/100
51%

....sorry not as long as usual...just really tired...

Scenario 10-09-04 05:37 AM

Voted For: disciple05

G Speed: this was bad, u had a few goodlines and that's it, u cussed to much in there, i'm not a christian or anything but ur verse was filled with like a cuss word right after one which made parts of ya verse seem like fillers, punches just weren't hitting, structure was ok, flow was kinda off, a few multi's, ur opener was weak and ur closer was also weak, the opener was worse though, ok personal, elevate kid. overall 4/10


Lyrical Disciple: much better verse, punches were hitting, good play off his name, some good meta's, flow could have been better along with the structure, good personals, not really any multi's, some ok wordplay, all ur punches seem to hit hard, could be better but good job. overall 7/10



vote: Lyrical Disciple


return the honest votes, battles r in my sig, no hate

Red Stroke 10-09-04 06:24 AM

uppin on votes get at this thang right here.........

HottnessDefined 10-09-04 08:35 AM

Voted For: disciple05

disiple got diz battle da flow wad dope he murderd diz cat with da better punches

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

Red Stroke 10-10-04 05:52 PM

uppin on votes
get at this right here yo

Replay 10-13-04 07:53 PM

Voted For: disciple05

damn son you had mad funny shit and everything about him is true lolol

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

Red Stroke 10-14-04 06:25 PM

are you serious are you serious lol aiight still uppin on votes then i guess

K.ontroverz.Y 10-14-04 06:34 PM

Voted For: disciple05

disciple your shit was decent...opener was dope..that shit was pretty ill..your structure was pretty good...but dont space out your bars keep all your shit together.....your punches was hittin hard....no personals but htis was a dope verse

al capone: too basic dawg...your flow was there and ur structure but thaz about it..ur punches wasnt hittin..no personals...u can do better than that fam..keep it up


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