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-   Elevated Front Lines Battles (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=193)
-   -   Premanition vs oreo (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157604)

Parallel 10-31-04 03:05 AM

This was feedback posted for Premanition
 
just checkin polls but P you won easly to be honest..

Premanition 11-01-04 12:37 PM

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-1-

atti? 11-01-04 04:49 PM

Voted For: Premanition

Pretty Nice...
This Shit Was Just More Fluent Flowing...
The Other Kid Was Lacking...
Even The Flow Was Off And Hard To Fallow...
On The Whole This Was The Over All Better Piece By Far...
But BOTH Pieces Lack A Real Story...
That Kinda Let Me Down Cuz I Like Stories Better...
They're Alot More Engaging To The Reader...
But Ya...
Prem Goddit...
.One.

Premanition 11-02-04 02:44 PM

uppin come on y'all can we finish this..........

pz

Premanition 11-05-04 06:46 PM

uppin to finish this shit

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-1-

Premanition 11-06-04 11:20 AM

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Premanition 11-08-04 12:31 PM

uppin to finish this shit..........................

pz

¤ÐÅž¤ 11-08-04 02:17 PM

Voted For: Premanition


How quick it all passes the good times of youth…
Like waiting for that fairy to collect your tooth…
To tell the truth im not sure I made the most of it…
Looking for perfect times unaware I was so close 2 it…
just gone like wind, carrying you like winter leaves…
Trying to be your idol, punching like keanu reeves…
Missin school but at the time like manic depression…
Yet leaving made u panic cos of fear of progression…
Scared of the future and so desperate for the past…
Broken leg on purpose so kids wud sign the cast…
Just wanted it to last but its all gone in a flash…
Selling unwanted gifts on the front for extra cash…
Invest in a cabinet to store prestigious medals in…
Excruciating pain but refuse to take the medicine…
Medalling with friends results in first detention…
Much tension on muscles to grab the girls attention…
Eyes re-open from closure to nothing but memories…
Feels like life not over but been going for centuries…
Gone like the wind in full agreement with the phrase…
Tear dissolves through skin after the content on this page…

good structure n vocab...direction was decent, you stayed on topic pretty good...story line couldve be written better...
but i liked ya metas n vocab...was feelin ya drop a bit more..

.


is there a heaven on earth cuz were all living in hell/
lockin ourselves up, we livimg better lives in jail/
president's makin the burbs better,the ghetto he missed/
angels with us in the hood, do they even co-exist/
seeds of prejudice impreganating our motherland/
so we reinforce our color wherever we stand/
takes trajadies for us to come together as one/
our mouths are bleeding spite from biting out tounge/
were all pawns in this chess game of life/
without us our kings woulnt take the strike/
martin king died,freedom left too on the streacher/
he opend the pth wide, thank th lord if he blessed ya/
satins paved in the streets where we all reside/
God protects us but we all keep heat on or side/
the man above risked his everything even his son/
all he asks is for us all to live life in unison/
if its right in your head then blow away the sin/
when we reach the gates, all pain will be gone with the wind/

^^thought you did well for ya first topical, but overall i wasnt feelin some of ya lines.example..all pawns in the chess game of life<<some stuff like that was jus plain not original..
both lacked creativity..both couldve been more directed at the topic...
.
overall i gave it to prem cuz of vocab n a lil better direction on the topic....but to both.."where was the emotion".???
you both had no real lines protrayin any...dissapointed....

GangsStarShit 11-08-04 04:44 PM

Voted For: Premanition

I think that Premanition got this battle because i feel that Premanition came stronger in the following categories...Topic i felt Premanition got it was effective and was on point Oreo u shoulda been a bit more creative on this occasion rhyming i felt went to Premanition good lookin wordplay and creativity goes to Premanition and flow and structure i'll give to Premanition.

V/Premanition There's my sig be sure to return the favour honestly

OrEo da cookie 11-08-04 05:08 PM

upppin this give him his win yo....................

K.ontroverz.Y 11-08-04 06:46 PM

Voted For: Premanition

premanition took this easily

prem u had better visionary and much better flow and wording..oreo your shit was okk bad wording i culdnt reallty get into it...both need elevatin but both came nice

vote:prem


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