RapVerse.com Community - The Sleep & The Dream

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- Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)

- - The Sleep & The Dream (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=164035)

nice shit bro. in one word - enthralling. haha. it doesnt work how u wrote 'an' instead of 'a' tho in places. (Like an cloud, It was an hawk, took out an pencil) u only write 'an' if the first letter of the next word is a vowel. other than that this was a good read. keep em coming. tight.

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this was a good piece...i was feelin tha dream part cause you made it seem more vivid...almost like you could envision what you was sayin...i give ya a 8/10..could have been more elaborate on tha sleep part...but still a good poem...keep writein man

...holla at ya gurl

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this was good for poetry which i really dont like lol but i liked this emotion was straight
y does everyone make their poetr on here flow grrrrr lol
make a haiku i like those plain and simple lol

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damn nice drop man nice drop it was hot liked it felt the flow all the way through it nice Keep it up man 9/10

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^^^poem Of The Month^^^^ .............uppin

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrasticMeasureZ

The sleep

Sleeping in my bed with my eyes closed nuttin but black sights
I turned to sleep with no sense of is my heart is still beating. right?
Sleeping is like your dead, you don’t feel no sense of your life
don’t know if your going to wake up in the morning seeing the sunlight
why I’m writing this? But I gots to say what’s on my mind, and express it
Telling yall my feelings about this, life human cycle, which I don’t get
The point is I cant sleep at night, scared to close my eyes seeing the color black
I don’t know if an robber sweep through my house and put an bullet in my back
Now I’ve release my thoughts, about why I don’t like to go to sleep
One thing I like to do when I’m sleep, that special thing is to dream

My dream

It was so beautiful, it hardly rains here, grass is so deep green roses are blooming
Mocking birds are sipping sweet nectar, I can feel the wind touching me it feels soothing
Monkeys are swinging on vines whips from tree to tree, hearing there noisy strange screech
I laugh, with an big smile on my face (ha ha) the grass I can feel the watery moist on my feet
I run with excitement. Like an cloud, all my heavy problems had turned light. I was so free
I told my self. I don’t have lungs but I can still breathe. I don’t have eyes but I can still see
Running to my favorite place, where there’s are lots of fruit’s to eat, and an big waterfall
Flowing down stream. I’d look up in the sky, an big bird with long wings. It was an hawk
Finally I reach my favorite resting destination I sit by the tree took out an pencil and paper
And started drawing. This dream had so much creativity and art. This was my home, the source to take away my faults.

My alias!...................I used to love the old days :thumbup: