RapVerse.com Community - Awaken'd VS Creative

ayo dont try to rebel, the lyrics i propel/
castin spells, send u to hell, lose ya wings at the sound of a bell/
weak opener
torch you, tan ur lyrical complection, net nerd, get u at the star trek convention/
get cooked by my convection, i pleased ya girl, cuz i actually sustain an erection/
lol nice punch
betta pack protection cuz she's been in your direction/
prolly got all sorts of STD infections/
weak
i rip you with continuous blows, amazing flows, and lyrical gold/
let the truth behold/
ya bad timing is impecable, hearin my rhyme is bliss, incredible/
dont talk about yourself in a battle
spray u like insectosol im tellin yall/
voting balids will be valid to prove i stay unchallenged/
more of a filler
try, and u'll almost touch this like a tangent/
told him i brought heat he wore a vest on his chest/
dont mind weak opponents like u i confess, god bless!/
o u got yaself in a mess, causin massive stress u so impressed/
weak multi...dissd yourself, sorta witht he weak opponents part
dawg asked me for my autograph, i laughed/
wut u want for ya epitaph? cuz with words i'm pure cash.
bad ending, very weak
over all a 5/6 for a verse.. need alot of work on your metaphors, and punchlines to really do more damage to an opponent.. Rhyme schems kinda off, multis werent really there, vocab seemd to be done out of a rhymeing site of somthing.. up on that is and itd be alot better

Im cumin at you sicker then a porno flick wit a bitch suckin seven dicks....If ya drank 'hersheys milk' ya shit couldn't even spit 'quick'....im a 'cerial killer' 'awaken' these wack 'trix'...'penatratin' ya flows 'easier' then chicks wit silocone tits...yo you battlin me is like comparin 'playboy' to 'ranger rick'...im a 'animal' when i lyrically spankin this 'dick'(awakend)...ill take ya 'rebel' and 'rock' this 'kid' wit out a 'cause'...fuck P.M.S im rockin ya into male meta-pause...ya flow was saggin but they dont make big enough braw...i busted you i guess you got weak enough 'jaws'...this battle is over you let the 'shark' out the tank.. i ate you up and consumed you like crank.........peace

to hard to do a bar to bar break down.. because well YOU DONT HAVE BARS.....!

over all this verse wasnt bad... Had alot of ill metaphors in it, and the punchs werent that bad either.. rhyme scheme was a lil off but at least its fixable.. Try adding bars next time and up some on your vocab, itll help a grip.. overall id rate it like a 7.8

vote=Creative

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