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RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Textual Releases (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   True Story Bases (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170344)

.Wicked One. 01-07-05 10:54 AM
Nice Open Mic.....Nice collab also.....Nice creativity....had some nice mutlies & vocab....structures was good...so props to both you ...peace.....

ill game 01-09-05 03:52 PM
wtf dude u took my name i was about to change too *cries*

Immense 01-09-05 03:58 PM
very creative..indeph always comes crazy wit these open mics...good stucture..vocab was good...good lookin on keepin open mics alive.....overall 9/10

return the favour..my first open mic in a while...pz

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=171262

ill game 01-09-05 05:05 PM
do i come crazy? *cries again*

M-Eazy 01-15-05 02:57 PM
wow! i was feeling that. that should be a track of some sort if it aint already. ill game got mad skillz. his verse was kinda short tho, but it was still mad decent to me. i like his style and his all around flow. his style is creative
indeph-good drop, and good job on playing tha pix in ur head and makin a verse to it. u got skillz. when i was reading ur verse, i was thinkin u could be somebody's ghost writer.lol...but that was nice, i liked ur flow too, and ur structure and style...good shit yall...yall got skillz


1

L.E 01-15-05 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Indeph


aight he made me post it so people'll pay attention
but this his song..and bascially his story..Ill games
and I'm playin his friend named Ty..he told me what happened
so I made my vision on what was going through his mind
aint I dope :D..I rapped it as he told me [/bragging]

..but this all true...crit this or I'll
bite you really hard


Ill Game=Bold
Me=Italic
________________________________________________
its like being hit by the sun..catching a hollow tip from a gun
i missed melvin cuz i had nowhere to run
so i just stood there stunned and turned around and dropped
asking myself the question "did i just get popped"
hell nah this cops not gonna pull that off
but im leaking from my shoulder, shit fuck that pig
wheres melvin now im starting to hate that kid
i thought he said hed be there for me no mater what i did
but in any case shit is starting to go black
next thing i know i wake up in the hospital sack

An okay verse...flow was off, structure could definetly use some work...elevation in vocab would be good as well. A'ight...not bad, but not great either.

________________________________________________

Its like being asleep in a fire while choking..
picture me on the other side as fire was opened..
no thought of compation..just action taken upon..
I wonder how Tyler felt while facin a gun..bum bum
my heart raced..and my blood ran laps..in this case..
I wasn't there I hope he understands that..
I had to stand back..damn cops put a bullet in his damn back
if he died there with them..he couldn't get his revenge
his spite for his life..he would surely take them with him
they must imagin everyone's a crook over ten to them..
those images playback..through my mind..and rewind
they deifeid his rights..which got me in a slump..denied delight
I knew it..I thoughts and plots and suspensions were fuelin
its true the boy human..and soon his fluid will demise
but mute the laughter bitches,the nigga still alive

Pretty good...nice imagery and flow...not much bad to say about this verse...keep it up...
________________________________________________


p-p-peace


drop link with-in 24 hours to where u gave feed back on or this will be closed.......

im just doing my job......

we gotta get open mic more active so it can stay alive....


An a'ight peice...first guy needs some elevation...Indeph came a'ight...peace.


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