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-   -   50hater_killer vs SUPERVILLAIN (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=173725)

M-Eazy 01-27-05 12:14 AM

Voted For: 50hater_killer

checkin polls............................................. ..

Removed

M-Eazy 01-27-05 12:18 AM

^oh....shit, i thought i click feedback.....well, imma get that taken off....my bad.....

intensify effect 01-27-05 07:31 AM

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

vote: S.V cuz ya flow was nice and u had more detail in ya verse and u got preety deep in to it, creativeness was good and all around hot...

Not only was this intense but he had 2 defend against arrogance 'n spit
He was unprepared for the hits...did i mention he was of arabic descent?
so romey left school and joined new recruits like he had somethin 2 prove
Boot camp went smooth...afghanistan got skipped and iraq was his move

^^ feeling those lines nice...

just before safety...another attack!!! moments build, more deadly...dire
they survived that, but 200 ft. from base...romey was killed by friendly fire
to romey adair...remembered as the bravest...a hero to all, so just face it
i tell his untold story below our pics, mounted respectfully in my basement

nice twist int he story and good ending...

strong verse.....


50:
it was this day where heros where made,
wars take lives but their souls did not yet fade.
They marched on for miles and took no fear,
and welcomed their enemies like headlights and a deer.
Bombs rocking in the distance and smokey lungs,
while they made their way with the sound of guns!
they faught for one thing and one cause,
and that was to give freedom and do it without a pause,
as the day grew weery they faught on to the death,
for I know that this field woul yet be their final bed.
for as I watched my comrads fall i knew that this was..
their chance to yet be called hero!

that was preety simple, good flow, no creativeness really just like a opener more then a WHOLE VERSE, u aint get deep into it which made the read preety boring, there wasnt no twist in it no real detail either all around this was preety weak...
but nice try...

Willa 01-27-05 08:57 AM

This was feedback posted for SUPERVILLAIN
 
his didnt really compare lol but anyways good battle to both i guess lol

Compose 01-27-05 10:16 AM

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

um easy win basically

SV basically got every aspect

50hater just make longer verses...this was a good opportunity to go 100 lines if you wanted since it was unlimited and you shouldve taken it...you only dropped 12 lines...thats not enough for a topical...i liked what you gave though...if you gave 40 lines with the words you used there with a little more detail and vocabulary you might have one but it was too short so there wasnt enough detail in it...

SV this verse was really really good...i liked it alot
it had emotion and detail the words you used were great and you managed to keep the flow great also...i like the ending it gave it more emotion too...beginning was good because it started like a story and ended like one...instead of jumping right into the battle or into 9/11 you introduced a little of the character which i liked a lot...

good luck to both no hate
return the favor when you get a chance...

peace

Compose 01-27-05 10:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R. Freeze
Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

V/supervillain......this was a one sided battle super jus took this wit good punchs that were more creatively used he had better vocab an personals....50 u need to elavate u had to much basic flow no real punchs or diss's......
punchs=super
vocab=super
multi's=super
structure=super
opener=super
closer=super
overall=supervillain
*RETURN THE FAVOR*

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.



LMFAO^...FUNNIEST VOTE I EVER SEEN...yea nice disses and punches in a topical rofl...priceless

Adrenaline 01-27-05 12:05 PM

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

seen seen...yo I liked ur's better..I liked the imagery in this and the multi's were really good..
I don't think u won with just a longer verse but ur story had more literary devices than 50 haterkiller...

I dont have time for a full review of both ur's but I give this to chryme...word up!! return favour in sig y'all...

50Cal. 01-27-05 12:08 PM

This was feedback posted for SUPERVILLAIN
 
Lmfao At 50 Super Got This Easy If 50 Gets Any Votes They D.r Fo Sho Now Sv You Need To Work On Vocab And Cut Down Your Line Length Each Line Is Long As Fuck Like A Damn Sentence Thats Too Much Words It Cant Possible Flow Properly Like That And Dont Jump So Quickly Ez Into The Plot You Gave A Decent Image But Jumped To Quickly Through Time Frames Here And That Was Not Only Annoying But Ruined It Alot .now 50 Had No Imagery Vocab Was Weak Structure Was Good But No Site Was Given Or Emotion And That Hurt Him Sv You Should Have This Ez

SUPERVILLAIN 01-27-05 12:12 PM

thanks fellas.....much love. word.

cali, i'll try to incorporate your advice towards my topicals in future battles. right on homie. one.


s.v.

Black Queen 01-27-05 05:11 PM

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

SV gets dis easily he put work into his 50 it look like u was just writin shit n puttin dumb stuff together and den it was a topical i figure you would of put more lines but Sv flow was dere and i was into his story den 50 it was deep and convincin


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