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35836 - Gimme Ma Money Architect
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Current Standings: Anxiety: 0 Votes Drama Queen: 1 Votes Hells Fire: 0 Votes |
Wow, acuity you get 40,000 for that good of a vote. That is what is needed on RV!
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No hate for who you voted for acuity, but it didn't seem like you liked my verse at all, yet you gave me a 9/10... I just find that wierd.
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lol...........^
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Nice sig Six:thumbup:
Why does no one vote on this? It's a good battle. |
i think acuity was focusing on the problems more than the props in his critique damn cali shoulda had critique for you guys too then i be tied for the lead than one step behind with a crazy battle thay no one looks to vote on i say you should tell nostradamos about it and big chase for some more voters
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Split the Pie...
Hells Fire: your verse was decent, your story board was dominant, and very visible throughout the entire piece. you came correct, your vocab was not too extensive, although you did included many forms of speech. however, i was not appeased with the multiple stanzas that repeated the same para- phrase for 4 lines. the whole parellel bar structure was not very good, literate at best. you had a nice image of your work before you began to type, but the words you used, i did not feel fully expressed what it is you were trying to get at. nice job. you earned 22% of the pie. Drama Queen: amazing imagery. overall you carried out the best topical that actually desrcibe the T without bending it, or perviously aultering its original portrait. here, you well painted out the topic, and fully have shown exactly what a great topical battle consists of. nice piece, i cannot find one ounce of critism in me that would better this verse. you came even more correct you dropped a good piece. the structure was good, the length was perfect, i think from now on, i will start shortening mine, because i admire that structure. you keyed with a fundamental and ample amount of vocab. was not over the top but, your verse was amazing. you earned 28 % of the pie. anxiety: you and i, in a way have the same style. the lines are short and legible, long enough to carry a rythm, but have that distinct amount of syllables to create a perfect structure. the multis were amazing, and well placed. the vocab was good as well, it was simple and petite, i like that. i too, am over the seductive vocab, that most rookies appeal to...forcing them to believe "this person uses large words, they must be good, im voting for them" but here that was not the case, you came better than both of your opponents verses, i like how you used the topic to your advantage, and applied it to your personal state ( that this is your last topical ). if that is true. your verse has great scheme and an amazing base. you earned 50 % of the pie. vote: ANXIETY |
Current Standings: Anxiety: 1 Vote Drama Queen: 1 Vote Hells Fire: 0 Votes |
Hells Fire
Aight your point of this verse is not that original. I knew someone would do this and write a verse about death. Your imagery was aight, but I didn't feel that connected to the person. You just kept repeating yourself over, and over, and over. Flow was off a little too. I think that you had a decent idea, but you failed to give out what it truly could have produced. Structure made it hard to read too. What you did right: Your emotion was good, and I was interested enough to see how it would end. Wasn't sure what was going on till the end. Drama Queen Wow, usually your stuff is a bit more complex then this was. The rhymes were rather basic in my opinion, and I think that you could have done a lot better then what the verse was. With that said the many things you did well: Emotion was nice, and I could relate well to your verse. Structure was fine like always, and overall your vocab was a nice blend. The end could have been a bit more impactful with "At the end of my road", but thats just me. :thumbup: Anxiety Dude, I am almost crying by reading your verse. It gives me shivers. This is without a doubt the best topical verse I have ever read from you or anyone else. Your emotion was there like nothing else, and just wow. Um, really I cannot find anything bad about this verse, except I wish it was longer. Haha Structure was good, vocab was lacking, but it wasn't needed. Your storyline was perfect, and your twist on it made it just that more better. I honestly have to say I found nothing wrong with this piece. v/Anxiety |
Current Standings: Anxiety: 2 Votes Drama Queen: 1 Vote Hells Fire: 0 Votes |
looks like no pie for me hehe oh well it was fun to be in the finals with ya good kats
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Fully explained votes are much appreciated by all three of us, enjoyed participating in this final for sure!
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Hells Fire
Your verse was pretty good man.. What I really like most about your verse is your multi's.. sadly, this is the only part that made your verse sound good.. Your imagery really wasn't there.. and it was the samething with your emotion.. I couldn't see or feel anything.. Your vocab was on point, but you should try some metaphors.. that would really make it stand out.. Drama Queen This was another good verse that i've read from you DQ, but really i've seen alot better from you... You made it seem like u rushed it or didn't even care.. but some how still made it good. Well your emotion was there, and your storyline was good.. just like wut Architekt sed.. I too could relate to your verse.. And at the end.. i knew someone would use something like you did.. so you should try to thing of something like a shocker (twist) next time you know Anxiety It's interesting how your vocab really wasn't that good in this verse but you made it seem like it didn't matter due to your emotion.. Your verse really did stand out because this is seriously the same thing i went through.for example.. I got too cocky battling nos and got ko'd..damn that sucked haha.... This verse basiclly has very few bad things in it.. well actually none that i could think of?? Vote: Anxiety.. Good Battle To All Contestants!! Congrads To Anxiety |
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