RapVerse.com Community
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RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Journey my body (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=196554)

MsBoOtYpHaT4U69 06-24-05 05:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama Queen
Uhm it's an aight piece but guys be pussyriding like whoa haha...

Imagery was good, describing everything in a uhm clear way I guess, you said it straight forward. Emotion was best in the last lines where you say to be careful as if you were a china doll. It was a decent piece but you might try to keep more mysterious vibe and reword some shit so it gets a more poetic vibe.

^^^^^
TY FOR DA LOVE DRAMA QUEEN...STAY UP MA

MsBoOtYpHaT4U69 06-24-05 05:33 PM
Ty Ya'll For Ya Feed Back!

M-Eazy 06-24-05 06:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama Queen
Uhm it's an aight piece but guys be pussyriding like whoa haha...

Imagery was good, describing everything in a uhm clear way I guess, you said it straight forward. Emotion was best in the last lines where you say to be careful as if you were a china doll. It was a decent piece but you might try to keep more mysterious vibe and reword some shit so it gets a more poetic vibe.


:nono: ...Pussy rides me.


:)

Payn 06-24-05 07:01 PM
well i don't need those directions cuz i already know ya body real well ma J/K but naw on tha real i like diz piece alot it has da depth & all sexual tents dat makes a good sex pieces


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