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^^ did he say what other tourneys there were?
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yeah EC elevated pretty fast..
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ayooooo stop cloging my thread jesus christ you damn uk heads. anyway ima give my un biased opinion on ya track like i never met you before.....starting with leady...
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ok lets see....what your doing good and need to work on...listeing to time to shine flow/rhyme scheme-you took a interesting rhyme scheme on this beat.....its on point though. your flow is definatly better on the second verse. i only heard one time where i think you slipped. for the most part your flow is on point, and good. delivery/rideing the beat- this is what is making you stand out from the other uk kids on this site, your delivery is pretty good...but when you deliver you chorus you SUCK...i mean in this song ya chrous it sounded nothin like a hook at all. this is where you need to ride the beat, put a little harmony/melody into the hook, or just swtich up ya flow. but overall ya delivery is decent ...can always be tweaked a lil....but WORK ON YOUR HOOKS. pronounciation/breathe control- it may just be the "american heads" but most of the time i have no fuckin clue what ya saying...i find i cnat inderstand the rhymin word really. sometimes i slur my rhymin words too.....or your accent is jus fuckin with me....WORK ON PRONOUNCIATION. ....breathe control for the most part its good, jus before the hook i could hear you inhale. but mixing can fix that... style/lyrics- alright i think its safe to say that most of us are still trying to find or build up or own unique style...your style on this track sounded original your presence and flow and overall sound sounded orginal for the most part....hmm voice, im not one of those cats who judge a track on someones voice. jus cause you dont sound like a big black guy from new york im not gonna hate ya track. voice is you ...do you.....lyrics nothin really stand out. you had a couple of good lines the leady is nice /newspaper line was coo same with the latrine or howeva you spell it line.... What to work on- HOOKS, HOOKS, HOOks, this is your downfall. learn to ride tha beat use the ups and downs of the beat for ya hook make ya voice go up and down. bring in some melody (layer ya hook with like 5 voccal tracks).....Also work On Anounciation (i bielive is the correct term)....cause if i cant understand you than im not buying ya track/ cd..... done with indpeh critizing.... |
respect... some people dont understand me but like u said its only americans dat find dat problem but even then its only a select few americans... so i reall feel its down to accent wit dat problem.. hooks aint my strong point but im not a hook man... im all bout bein raw..... i dont do mharmonic n melodic deliveries lol im strictly raw to da point... dat is basically wat UK hip hop is aswell... listen to most uk peeps mhooks n its not melodic its raw n aggressive... but i also noticed da hook comes down to personal taste cos i know alot of peeps dat love it but dey into dat raw type.. but others dont n dey into dat more melodic type get me.... but nice1 on da break down
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ok e.c. is next...ill do it in a bit, i gotta make some phone calls real quick
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ok listening to life of a legend. flow/rhyme scheme-ok ya flow is on point, but its not smooth, its choppy in some points ex. instead of saying i have mon-ey.... say i have money. jus smooth it out a bit more polish it up. rhyme scheme is basic a/b style..... delivery/riding beat- ok i was impressed with you on this track....usually ya real quiet, but ya delivery was pretty good i was feelin it a little...riding the beat you did this well....even in ya verse you rode the beat well...see leady on his chorus he rode the beat, and didnt jus spit a couple bars over and over. you rode the beat well chorus was some what catchy....delivery can be worked on and tweaked pronounciation/breathe contro- ok this is the same as leady pretty much...it may just be the "american heads" but most of the time i have no fuckin clue what ya saying...i find i cant understand the rhymin word really. sometimes i slur my rhymin words too.....or your accent is jus fuckin with me....WORK ON PRONOUNCIATION. ....breathe control for the most part its good, jus before the hook i could hear you inhale. but mixing can fix that... style/lyrics- ok ya didnt try and imitate anyone so style for now you are pretty straight, i can tell ya still trying to find ya own style to settle into....lyrics they were pretty good considering you were telling a story instead of goin for punches....overall the lyrics were good for this story, they were a lil corny at times but overal pretty straight what to work on - smoothen out ya flow, work on ya lyrics a lil bit.....work on announciation.....speak clear.... |
ok will do tradmarx later i got some shit to do
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word....check out the perfect woman......make sure u listen till end cause it has a lil twist...nothin big
soundclick link in sig.... |
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thnx man. i appriciate the time u taken to do this safe, n thanks... |
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/b...tionz_music.htm
Hit up either one of the first 2 on my page, or both :thumbup: I love you New Method :love: |
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/c...ymore_music.htm listen to this shit man
dont sleep on it |
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ok i saw ya pic and was like dammnnn this kid look like some fat ass white kid that got a mic for christmas. ...enough said listening to live on stage... flow/rhyme scheme-ok ya flow is smooth, but it needs work, cause its on and off, sometimes you speed up or slow down to land ya rhymes on the snare....you also land ya shit late and early you need to time ya shit and land it better....rhyme scheme is aight, needs work to make ya flow better.... delivery/riding the beat- ok personally i think ya voice is sick lol i dont know why but i love it. thats what makes ya delivery good ....like when you first come in im like damn, soo ya delivery is nice..riding the beat is kinda on the fence....cause sometimes you do it good other times blahhhh jus landing rhymes on the snare.. pronounciation/breathe control,- ya prounciation is good, i can clearly understand...some words you need to announciate better but overall good announciation...breathe control was pretty good considering you were straight flowin never really took small punches...did you punch in at all? or did you edit out ya breaths because i cant really hear any noticable breathing... lyrics/style-ok this is where you are lackin ....lyrics and style...you need to get more original stlye and lyrics....your a fat white kid, not a big black man in harlem....drop the 50 cent lyrics, you dont stab peoplem, you dont have gangstas ect. and by ya lyrics ya style is comin off like you tryin to be a thug, but your not....find a unique style do you... what to work on-LYRICS LYRICS LYRICS...flow polish it up.....ya chrous isnt bad just add some dubs or double ya vocal layers so we can tell its a chorus....and finally quality in the begining i could hear the HISSSS like whoa...work on ya production a bit.... |
hello wes =/
my s click in my sig.Don't listen to the topical battle quality is asslick --__-- do a indeph look at indeph :) |
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