thank you son..

cmon bitches.......

word, this was gangsta :shoot:

Dope. Theres not much wrong with it, and youve been told whats good about it so i wont waste time. It was ill.

This might be a bit hard to understand so bear with me... Cos I have to try to explain something wierd that could be said by just saying you need more change ups, but that wouldnt really help you. -_-

Basically, the only bad thing about it was your style. But don't take that personally :thumbup:.. Your style is good. The vocab, flow and general vibe of your style is good, BUT a style like yours needs a bit of character. That verse objectively was perfect, but subjectively it needs more. I think you know about this already though, if not conciously then unconciously, because about two thirds of the way through the vibe changed to more of a bliss n eso type thing...

you'll hear it from this magician, my vision changes wishes
you'll be asking for the music, instead of booze or stage bitches

^from that line is where that happened... Which was cool. You just need more... color... or something.

Its really hard to explain.... it needs more... personality..

I just read it again, and I really can't pinpoint what it is im talking about. Are you ever gonna do audio? Cos emotion in your voice would really make a piece like this dope.

But yeah... it needs more soul or something really hard to explain.

Dont worry too much about it, because half the time im an idiot and it probably doesnt even matter... just keep practicing and it will make it better.

yeah, i understand...mostly; i have drifted a lil from my usual style, mainly because i try to write all my pieces with more of an involving flow, where you can really get into a piece.....im thinkin 'bout doin audio, but i really don't know where to start, meh, maybe one day.....that line, actually, and from then on down, i wrote in about 10 min to finish it off. feed is much appreciated, because now i read it over and what you said makes alot more sense. word

Ya Real Nice Flow Some Good Multis In There Nice Way You Worded The Whole Thing Structures Pretty Good And Vocab Was Ight You COuld Work on It Tho

I Liked This Bar

where i mesmerize mankind, turning a blind eye to lies with my pride refined
i dont look around for motivation..........i glance behind

Return The Favor Please Real Life In My Sig Just Click It

wordness.......................

dope good om liked it good multis n good vocab good concepts i couldnt find anything wrong with this!keep up

uhmm, veyetal says thanks holmes

uppin..............

bump...........

i liked it there was deff a flow there keep on dropin stuff