THanxx good lookin and I'll rtf........................

Voted For: Natural killa

an ok battle,

tony green.....ok first off the topic was kind of gay, i don't know who picked it but it is too basic and easy to do. but anyway, tony had a nice approach to the topic, nothing overly creative, the flow through the piece was nice, but the structure was kind of text-like (if you get that). anyway, the imagery of the piece seemed kind of 2-dimensional to me, it had picture to it so the reader can see what you are writing about and picture it, but for me it lacked emotion. the vocabs were ok, pretty basic though and you cud use to get more complex with that shit. overall i wud say 6/10

killa......had a more topical style to it, props on that considering you aint a topical writer, the structure was cool and the flow was nice.....u also had a decent approach to the topic but you cud've come a little more creative, the vocabs in ure piece were consistently basic after the first few bars, i thought you started well but fell off. and overall your piece lacked real emotion and imagery much like tony's....when it comes down to it both pieces were a little to 2-dimensional and basic to have any real impact. but kill, overall 6.5/10


the reason i give the win to killa is becuz both pieces as i said lacked in the same kind of things, but the one thing about tony's that threw me off is that its all gangsta talk and shit, and i get that it goes with the topic, but topicals are supposed to be about emotion and trying to draw a picture to the readers eyes, i felt that killa's piece did that more.

V/ - Natural killa

no hate at all.....:cool::thumbup:

^^Whatever I can't see how he had more emotion than mine!

Voted For: Tony Green

a good battle here.....

natural killa- yours was a pretty consistent verse, nice structure, flow and vocab.....however it lacked depth and emotion....and that made it get a bit boring.....so incorporating these in your verse will help to keep it interesting....but overall not bad

Tony Green- a nice verse, NK outshined you with the flow and the vocab however yours was creative enough to take the win and you kept it interesting for the reader throughout...there was some emotion in there too

overall a good battle.....TG takes the win for creativity.......

This was feedback posted for Tony Green
 

.................................................. ....

uuuuuuuuppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn n

Voted For: Tony Green

both had very good verses, natrual killaz was better structurized but i feel that tony green expressed his verse and stayed on topic a bit more....he had more emotional.....and kept the concept running...as for natural killa ur verse was up there too but it lacked the emotion...that tony had...v/tony green

iight thanxx yall uppin to the top...................

Voted For: Tony Green

Tony - nice format, I was feelin the idea of the streets talking to you, like a conversation. You had some metaphors, well used. Also, the flow was quite good, had a kinda rhythm to it, lines were not too long. Only real criticism is that you used pretty much simple words all throughout, gotta up that vocab.

Killa - also not bad, but the whole storyline was kinda unoriginal. Also, your flow wasn't as good as Tony's, cos the two lines in a bar often had a vastly different syllable count, messing up the rhythm. Started off nicely with vocab, expression etc. but fell off and got simpler towards the end.

So basically, vote goes to Tony

leave an honest vote here:
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=205714

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn nnn

uuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

uuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Voted For: Tony Green

More Emotion, better structure, better vocab, more of a story..better written...