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Structure... dope
concept..... ill outcome.... delicious vocabulary. yummy imagery..... paradise all............ delicious |
hot shit homeboy....structure was nice and I
was feeling the concept,flow was good and imagery was also...keep it up...give it a 8.5/10.... |
nice shit, flow was good throughout.....a decent idea for an open mic and good delivery, you had some vocabs in there, but cud be more consistent and overall it had nice imagery to it so thats always good, overall i give it 7.5/10
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^^^^good delivery????? its text dude not audio lol anyways nice peice man.. deep and imagery was was pretty nice aswell... respect man
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Thanx for the feed, bump!
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- soulclamps Mad Knight. -
Crazy Boy Bluuueesss... |
ohhhhhhhhhhhh the crazy boy BLUESSSSSSSSS
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Very Nice Piece Man.
Lots Of Emotion And Imagery ... Glad To See Alot Of The Things I Tried To Teach You You Hung Onto. You're Even Starting To Get That Poetic Way About Your Writing, Wich Is Very Nice ... Seperates You From Most Of Rv. The Flow, Actually Pretty Good ... See You Finally Chopped Up Your Lines A Bit, Wich Really Is Helping Your Flow Out Alot. Uuuum Ya, Everything Is Elevating Very Nicely, Just Work On Creativity With Your Concept Alittle More ... You're Still Thinking "In The Box". Gotta Think The Way I Was Trying To Explain, Cuz Those Elaborate Storylines And Concepts Coupled With What You Have ... Is The Shit That REALLY Will Wow People, On Other Sites To Rather Than Just Rv. Nice Shit, Stay Up And Keep Practising. |
This was a deep piece man,the structure was perfect...very easy to follow...
First things,the emotion was amazing...always the most important thing in a topical piece to me and you hit it spot on...made me want to keep reading... The creativity was good also...you worked the out the topic well...great imagery...you made a good lil story out of it...i was deffinetely feeling this.. Also your vocab was on point in most places...i always love good vocab...and you used it well... Overall dope piece...u a good topical head..keep em coming..and get at me for a collab. wun |
this was prolly the best i've seen from you.....you had a nice imagery, nice concept.....flow was on point....nice emotion.....i think you really came good with this piece....keep droppin........
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Lets start with the postives:
You had a solid structure, emotion seemed present. You used enough descriptive language to keep the read enjoyable, and everything pictured in the mind as you read along with it. Some critism... The style you used, that a ton of other heads on use on this site for some reason would be the anonouncing of a change in the piece. "The tale gets deeper" or something along that. You know, the subtitles you people put in. If your using your language properly, and involving good imagery, people should be able to realize that something has happened, and not have a preminition of whats going to come. Quote:
That line could've used some rewording, because it seemed that you had to stick 'truly' on the end of it, because you didn't think the line out to it's full extent, and had to somehow make it rhyme. You flowed alright, but for this piece it would've been nicer to see some multis, because that would've made this piece that pretty dope. Props, keep dropping. |
shits deep......nice vocab....structure was nice.....lots of emotion...imagery was sick.....i liked this peice alot.... this is tha first om i've read from u.....ill be readin more of em if u keep ritin like this ......i'd have to giv it a 9/10.....keep it commin.......
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i dunno if this shoulda bin OM of da month, you dont phrase ya sentences very well, and ya force rhymes all ova da place....didn't flow at all....blahh,
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uppin.....too show my old topical side!
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thats wassup,you must be a true poet,this was good i like it
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