Hmmm...I liked this om..nothing too special I thought your flow was your strongest point of this om,....um your vocab usage I thought was decent because it helped out your imagery...which in return kept the piece interesting...I think you could have maybe have made your piece longer and maybe elaborated more but besides that I think you stayed on your topic in Overall was a well read Good Job..

7/10...

not bad not bad at all man, I haven't read anything from you in awhile and well last time I read somin by you it was a lil forced in some spots. But nah man you did good here, nice emotion fa sho. but what really caught my eyes was your imagery and story line, it kept me reading, all though I do wish this was longer. but really I think you gettin to be a very good topical head now man.

1

Thanx for the feed dawgs:D

Could have had better flow and maybe longer.

But besides that I thought it was sweet.

Very nice use of imagry.

I would have to give this 7.5/10....

...this kid just keeps on elevating!

props man.

uppin................

this started really good but kinda fell off.imagery was great but you hurt it a little by sacrificing it for flow and too many multis here.you kinda through too much toghther in certain areas to where it became a little difficult to follow.you did get your point accross though and came nicely in all other areas only thing besides that i can suggest is using more metaphores to bring a deeper image to your work.nice drop 7.5/10
please rtf on one of my open mics

uppin..................