RapVerse.com Community - Shot In The Dark

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- - Shot In The Dark (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219324)

Went really well with the beat I'm listening to. Overall this was a decent piece, I'm really getting sick of suicide and ish for endings, but it's whatever. Flow was straight, vocab fit it, overall a decent piece. Nothing special, nothing bad.

Wasnt a suicide ending, it's fairly open in my opinion. Thanks for the feed Rev. ;)

this was a good piece i was it was longer but it still was a good piece Nice vocab and some good multies this was right to tha point and very thought out

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mentalz

Shot In The Dark
Some days the sun rays shine down on his presence
And the light from the night always comes with a lesson
But it's time for confession, & he isn’t ready to face it
So he remains complacent on steps outside of his basement
Tries to erase him as he revises his statements
Comprises his cards right on up threw his Ace's
To his graced talents to valiant passions for violence
Though misguided he'd assured his conscience enlightened
So he stands, walks down the steps towards the corner
Where former ideals use to conform for the boredom
Now it's all broken as he strolls up towards the poor slums
He's aimed for forgiveness, as it rains for his kin’s sins
Soaked to the bone as he remains to repent them
Rounding the walk way as his soul cries for tomorrow
Although he hates all the sorrow, he knows his times borrowed
Poison to swallow as the lump in his throat becomes hallow
He's poised to embark and keeps moving despite the remarks
.. Though he knows it's for not .. but it's a shot in the dark ..

Straight up yer, honestly, thats sick.
serious man...just like, spice it up more

wat made u think of this

Uppin for some feed.

I liked it man..

Sweet flow with a great use of vocab..

Dope imagery man, really lovin' it..

Nice piece, keep droppin..

shit was madd dope id give it a 8/10

Some days the sun rays shine down on his presence
And the light from the night always comes with a lesson
But it's time for confession, & he isn’t ready to face it
So he remains complacent on steps outside of his basement
Tries to erase him as he revises his statements
Comprises his cards right on up threw his Ace's
To his graced talents to valiant passions for violence
Though misguided he'd assured his conscience enlightened

^^^^^^^dope

nice read keep droppin

good drop dope part that i liked was

But it's time for confession, & he isn’t ready to face it
So he remains complacent on steps outside of his basement
Tries to erase him as he revises his statements
Comprises his cards right on up threw his Ace's

Since I dont have time to write anymore and I still want some feed on this.

Uppin.

Jesus Christ. this is the first piece that i've seen where i've been like, whoa someone who impresses even SkYLL. this is elite. dope shiz right here.

concept - dope
flow - perfect
internals - ILL - first i've seen that does them right.
multis - ok
metas - good
vocab - dope

overall - 10/10

i will keep my eye out for you, i was beginning to believe this site was a waste.....