this was a hot piece
i enjoyed readin it
good flow and structure
keep it up

That was a suprisingly cool piece. And I mean that as in, at first it didn't seem like it was going to be much...the lack of multies AT THE TIME...seemed like a nice effort to not distract from your piece...but i see you were just up to your tricks...as it went on, the multies started flowing in real smooth like...which is interesting in itself, because it added to the imagery of the piece as a whole. It just added to an already smooth vibe. It was a pretty cool piece though. Just a good, solid, honest, piece. By honest I mean, you don't have to resort to trickery to get people hooked into reading it like me.


I wasn't overly impressed with any of the technical aspects really, word choice was rather simple....i would have liked to a cleaner rhyme scheme...in the first verse you would rhyme the last few words in one bar...and than the next, maybe only a few syllables....


I would go into metaphors, and things like that...but the truth is...this was a very simple piece..and my guess is, that is intentional....sometimes the best way to say what you feel, is to just say it....metaphors are not always the most effective way to explain intangibles


all in all..like i said...i liked the peace...however...it's better than most of the other cats that post in the om now days...but...let's be honest...is this your finest display of writing?

haha...im just givin you shit man...good drop.

Yo I Liked This Hott Piece, Flow Was Good, Nice Multies In The End, OverAll Good Drop

Yo Please Feed My Battle:

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=243388

had a great flow, which made it that much more enjoyable to read.. had a upbeat, positive swing to it, get a catchy chorus, it'd be a chill-out song... fun read, drop more stuff omb

real nice man.....it was real smooth when reading....creative to....keep it up..~1~